Mother and adult daughter sitting on sofa and having serious conversationAs an adult daughter, do you  ever feel like a little girl when conversations with your mother end in misfires, teary rants or silence? You’re not alone — it happens this way for 43.5 percent of us. However, there’s hope. By using ASK Presetting, you can stop walking on eggshells.

ASK Presetting is a precise communication method that involves pre-framing and rehearsing questions, comments, words and tones to avoid emotional collateral damage. When presetting tough topics with your mother, for example, appeal to her sweet side; don’t make her feel wrong.

Using this method, you can head off hurtful words in as little as seven minutes and stop feeling verbally attacked. Start by sprinkling your conversations with these two-word phrases: “I feel,” “I’m open,” “I’m confused,” and “Tell me more,” when your mother’s (or father’s and siblings’) words cause anxiety.

If you’re discussing tough and tender topics, but she keeps pinpointing your mistakes, you can calmly express yourself using this method without squabbling. And you won’t require years of therapy, either. Instead, you’ll be communicated with her respectfully and with love.

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