How are we reflected in the people we love and us in them?
What obligation do we have to those who share our blood?
How does a woman claim her life as her own?
Where is my true home?
Big Island bestselling novelist Darien Hsu Gee explores the answers to these questions through her poetic memoir and award-winning poetry, which debuted last fall in Allegiance and Other Small Histories.
In Allegiance, a collection of micro-essays and prose poems, Darien explores her Chinese American identity and themes of belonging. Darien navigates the complexity of family dynamics in search of her identity.
As a first-generation Chinese American, she portrays a feeling of spiritual homelessness as she charts her itinerant journey through her lyrical narrative of Asian diasporic experiences.
“Gee is a marvelously direct writer of powerful autobiographical vignettes, each one telling in its quiet ferocity for personal revelation, each a momentary, lyric ascent above everyday confusion,” says fourth-generation Japanese American poet Garrett Hongo.
Other Small Histories, a collection of poems, was selected as a Poetry Society of America 2019 Chapbook Fellowship winner by Patricia Smith, who called the book “a lush and lyrical chronicle of a walking back, a mesmerizing merge of research, vision and invention that gradually crafts a story of the women in her matriarchal line.” One critic wrote, “These luminous narratives explore complex familial relationships with spare, controlled prose. Gee is an eloquent writer whose voice resonates well past the last page.”
Darien is the author of six novels, five of which have been translated into 11 languages. Three were written under the name Mia King.
She holds a BA from Rice University and an MFA from the Rainier Writing Workshop at Pacific Lutheran University. She serves as series editor for the Hali‘a Aloha micro-memoir and hybrid publishing program. She and her family currently live in Waikōloa on the Big Island.
What does it mean to be Chinese American? How are we reflected in the people we love and us in them? What obligation do we have to those who share our blood? How does a woman claim her life as her own? Where is my true home? Big Island bestselling novelist Darien Hsu Gee explores…
When Douglas D.L. Chong thinks about celebrating Ching Ming as a child, he remembers waking up before dawn to the smells of home cooking. Sitting in traffic en route to the Mānoa Chinese Cemetery, a line of cars backs up all the way to University Avenue. Finally, around 7am, his family would reach their oldest ancestors’ grave sites, arriving there at the same time as about 40 other relatives.
“There were literally thousands of thousands of Chinese; hundreds of families,” he recalls. Chong is the president of the Hawaii Chinese History Center. “You’d bring all the kids; all the grandchildren. Everybody had to go to these rituals. It was a big thing — the only time the whole clan would get together.”
“This is where family history, family lore and connections are made,” he says, “but always invoking the spirits of those ancestors, asking them to bless the offspring.”
A springtime ritual paying homage to family ancestors, the Ching Ming Festival is still celebrated in Hawai‘i each April. A month-long period during which families clean grave markers and pay respects to deceased parents, grandparents, great-grandparents (and so on), it begins with a community gathering. This year, due to the pandemic, the United Chinese Society hosted a private opening ceremony April 4 at the Tomb of the Grand Ancestor in Mānoa.
Started in the 1850s, the Mānoa Chinese Cemetery sits on the ‘Akāka peak on the east side of former ag lands, surrounded on three sides by the Ko‘olau Mountains. ‘Akāka offers a clear view to the water — the Pacific Ocean — thus adhering to important concepts of feng shui, the practice of aligning oneself with nature.
“You have to be facing the water in feng shui,” Chong said. “That water is the blood of the Earth dragon — the dragon of the Earth.”
Opening ceremonies of Ching Ming this year included some of the usual trappings, but gatherings were smaller. Still, Chinese families will gather at the 10 Chinese cemeteries on O‘ahu, or the dozen cemeteries on Big Island and Maui. Graves will be tidied and cleaned. Before cemetery caretakers were employed, Ching Ming was one of the few times in the year grass and foliage would be manicured, said Michelle Choy, a past president of the Chinese Chamber of Commerce who is active in the Chinese community. She typically attends five or so Ching Ming graveside ceremonies with family and friends; this year, she’ll likely attend only two.
While each family has its own traditions, the most traditional graveside ceremony is a long one involving symbolic grave decorations and five traditional dishes presented along with drinks and incense. A whole roast pig is presented.
Sometimes, paper objects — including spirit money — are burned so as to send an ancestor into the afterlife with all the necessary resources. Douglas and Michelle mentioned offering spirit money to ancestors who liked to go to Las Vegas.
With its focus on filial piety, the ritual begins and ends with firecrackers and includes each relative bowing several times to the ancestor.
Douglas feels satisfied and pleased watching his grandchildren and children perform Ching Ming rituals, which begin for his family at the site of his grandfather’s grave on a hillside in Mānoa. One of his grandsons is a student at Maryknoll, learning one of the five dialects of the Chinese language Douglas himself speaks.
“It’s my hope once they are exposed to it, they internalize it to make it a part of themselves,” he said. “My main theme in all of this is not cultural identity. This isn’t my cultural identity; it’s not my culture. It’s my own true self-identity.”
When Douglas D.L. Chong thinks about celebrating Ching Ming as a child, he remembers waking up before dawn to the smells of home cooking. Sitting in traffic en route to the Mānoa Chinese Cemetery, a line of cars backs up all the way to University Avenue. Finally, around 7am, his family would reach their oldest…
If you feel some tension in your relationships, you are not alone. So do your part at home to protect loved
ones’ feelings and emotions.
Keys to Successful Communication
• Rotate chores and praise each person for doing a slam dunk job.
• LOL — Listen out loud to each other and avoid making comments.
• Use connecting conversations to soothe feelings by cutting out criticism, pushy words and rolling your eyes.
• Remember, your kūpuna may be confused, so speak slowly, smile and give hand massages.
• Introduce fun games and interactions. Kūpuna can become feisty competitors during bean bag toss and balloon volleyball.
Pivot Negativity to Positivity
– I can’t pay my bills. (resignation) + I’ll apply for assistance. (hopeful) – I’m trapped at home! (anger) + So I have more time for fun! (fun) – I can’t go out and eat. (helpless) + Let’s order takeout! (a good solution) – Why now? Why me? (victim) + I’m grateful I’m in good health. (appreciation)
What seem like bitter trials are sometimes blessings in disguise. Practicing an attitude of gratitude can make all the difference.
Former TV news reporter Angela Keen helps track down residents and visitors statewide who are not in compliance with the state’s COVID-19 quarantine rules and mask mandate through the Hawai‘i Quarantine Kapu Breakers, a volunteer, community action group on Facebook.
Angela joined the leadership team in March 2020. “The group enables me to use my journalism and reporting skills to investigate the people suspected of breaking quarantine,” says Angela. The original founder left the group last May, leaving Angela in charge.
Angela also has personal reasons for getting involved in the group. “I am a COVID-19 survivor,” says Angela. “I had the virus when the group started. My situation was serious — it took me eight weeks to recover. I felt it was my kuleana to help prevent others from contracting it.”
About 6,000 active members share tips through the group’s private Facebook page. Angela likens it to a neighborhood watch, aiding law enforcement to help stop the spread of COVID-19.
“We are a unique group of professionals mixed with a few ku¯ puna,” says Angela. “Many kumu and ku¯ puna in the group are my advisors and mentors — to make sure we do things pono. Many feel our efforts help the ku¯ puna and others at high risk. But most of our members work in the tourism industry.” The group has lead teams in every county and members on all islands.
Through these tips and information, she builds a digital file and sends it to the Hawai‘i attorney general’s office, where it is reviewed by the AG’s lead special investigator and his team. The quarantine breaker is usually arrested within 48 to 72 hours.
As of this writing, HQKB has helped to identify more than 74 violators.
Angela and her group also lobbied for a better statewide mask mandate. The group assists in enforcing it by holding weekend monitoring events. When they see unmasked people, they approach with a mask and a flyer explaining the mandate.
The group also gets tips on large group gatherings. “For large parities, we ask people to call the non-emergency number of their local police department. Reports on mask or distancing issues at restaurants go to the state Department of Health.”
Of those identified as kapu breakers, about 70 percent are tourists and 30 percent are locals.
Angela has currently focused on lobbying, and working with state and county leaders.
Former TV news reporter Angela Keen helps track down residents and visitors statewide who are not in compliance with the state’s COVID-19 quarantine rules and mask mandate through the Hawai‘i Quarantine Kapu Breakers, a volunteer, community action group on Facebook.
Megan Crouse and Judy Teltscher LeLevier. PC: Laurie Loney
Beginning players love the game immediately, because it is easy to learn, once you master the somewhat unconventional scorekeeping method. It’s fun at any skill level, providing exercise and social interaction, even during the pandemic.
“I give lessons to local and visiting players; the majority are seniors,” says Laurie Loney, one of Maui’s four USA Pickleball ambassadors. “They have fun immediately! Most become hooked instantly and recruit their friends to join in.”
Ambassadors like Laurie are volunteer representatives and unofficial spokespersons for USA Pickleball who promote goodwill and help grow the sport in their area.
Laurie, a senior player, instructor and state gold medalist, estimates that about 80 percent of Maui’s 500-plus players are over 50, adding that the under-50 age group is also growing quickly.
“The latest numbers show that Hawai‘i’s over- 50 players comprise about 70 percent of total players in the state,” says Jack Hodges of Kaua‘i, the state’s USA Pickleball ambassador. “We also have a very large group of under-50 players and a large group of players over age 70 on Kaua‘i, as well.”
Megan teamed up with Laurie Loney for the 2019 Maui Pukaball Tournament. PC: Irene Bowering
Laurie, who has had her own court for 18 years, says there were several private courts in South Maui back in the ’70s and ’80s. Since popularity of the game has increased at such a fast rate, players have commandeered existing tennis and basketball courts, awaiting designated, county -built pickleball courts. Private tennis clubs, such as Kapalua, Royal Lahaina, Wailea and the Maui Country Club, are accommodating pickleball play. There are also dedicated county courts at Waipuilani and Lahaina Civic. “But the current public facilities are becoming overwhelmed,” says Laurie. “The need for more courts is great.”
Especially after COVID-19 restrictions were put in place, many pickleball fans are also playing in their driveways, neighborhood cul-de-sacs or condo parking lots. Some are even building their own 20-by-44-foot cement or asphalt courts on their private property.
Looking for a game? Visit www.places2play.org or download the USA Pickleball Places2Play app.
USA PICKLEBALL
Hawai‘i Ambassador Jack Hodges 808-634-4049 | jhodges26@mac.com Please adhere to your local COVID-19 safety regulations when playing or waiting to join a pickleball game.
Pickleball is growing fast among fun-loving athletes and non-athletes alike. The paddle-and-ball game has become especially attractive to baby boomers and former tennis players. There is less acreage to cover for aging legs and the ball moves slower than in a typical tennis match.
Doug Matsuoka started working at Hawaii Meals on Wheels (HMOW) seven years ago as a part-time delivery driver. But his previous computer experience opened the door to his current job as the IT (information technology) and digital media coordinator, and “YouTube guy.”
He was an early adopter of computer technology, building his own microcomputer from a kit in the early 1980s. Doug learned his trade through various jobs.
Doug worked as the director of technology for the Honolulu Board of Realtors for six years before coming to HMOW. As the years passed, Doug became aware of a growing chasm between his personal ideology and the goals of a real estate organization that grew more prosperous while homes became further out of reach for an increasing number of would-be owners. This crisis of conscience prompted Doug to quit his well-paying job.
He left at age 57. His father died at 60, so assuming he may face the same fate, he wanted to spend his remaining time immersed in political activism — a socially conscious decision not based on dollar signs. He soon expended his savings and found himself homeless.
“The problem, if I can call it a problem, was that I lived longer than my dad did,” Doug says.
But it was through this political activism that he got to know the now-former executive director of HMOW, who eventually offered him a job.
“I am not making the money that I once did, but I get to do what is beneficial to the community,” he said. “It is important how you make a living and I finally understand that completely now. It’s the best job I’ve ever had.”
Pre-pandemic, about 500 HMOW volunteers — most of them seniors — delivered hot meals every day. “That’s what seniors do when their work obligations are finished… they still want to serve their community,” says Doug. However, now more meals are delivered by staff members rather than senior volunteers, due to safety concerns.
Doug says that even though he and the seniors he knows have a lot to offer, when people talk about the Silver Tsunami, many think of older people only as consumers of social services. “It’s interesting getting older, because you age into a unique form of discrimination. Day by day, you start becoming aware of microaggressions — indirect, subtle, unintentional discrimination.”
“People worry about meeting the demands of our growing older population, when actually, a lot of the older people are economically productive and serving the community,” says Doug. “Seniors run nonprofits, businesses… including the man who holds the highest office in the country.”
Even so, seniors are often stereotyped. “Their biggest threat is their stereotype threat — the risk of conforming to the stereotype,” says Doug.
Doug will soon be 69. “Old guys like me are not conforming to the stereotype. We are doing what we can in the community,” says Doug. “I am not alone. There are many my age and older who are social service providers, not consumers. I wish that was the senior stereotype: productive people who are a resource for the community.”
Their professional experience and life perspectives continue to sculpt seniors into one of society’s most valuable resources.
HAWAII MEALS ON WHEELS (501(c) 3 nonprofit)
P.O. Box 61194, Honolulu HI 96839 808-988-6747 | www.hmow.org
Doug Matsuoka started working at Hawaii Meals on Wheels seven years ago as a part-time delivery driver. But his previous computer experience opened the door to his current job as the IT and digital media coordinator, and “YouTube guy.” He was an early adopter of computer technology, building his own microcomputer from a kit in…
Sadly, some families fight over real estate after their parents have passed away. Although a trust protects against probate, there are other issues that may arise. Problems can develop between siblings due to unanticipated decisions that must be made, causing differences of opinion.
Avoiding family disputes starts with a clear strategy regarding the desires of the owners and beneficiaries. What is the desired end result? Once there is clarity regarding the best strategy and goals, the next step is to outline a plan. The more detailed the plan, the better. The last and most critical part of this plan is to communicate it to the beneficiaries. Without this clarity, opinions abound and emotions can run high. Unfortunately, many skip this last step — parents probably assume “the kids will figure things out.”
Typically, a successor trustee is designated to fulfill the instructions in the trust. Challenges arise when the siblings don’t agree. This can become a huge burden for the successor trustee, as well as a significant liability.
To maintain family harmony, understand your options, plan ahead and plan early to create a clear strategy that all stakeholders can agree upon.
THE COMPLETE SOLUTION™ — Powered by The Ihara Team of Keller Williams Honolulu RB-21303
1347 Kapiolani Blvd., Ste. 300, Honolulu, HI 96814
Sadly, some families fight over real estate after their parents have passed away. Although a trust protects against probate, there are other issues that may arise. Problems can develop between siblings due to unanticipated decisions that must be made, causing differences of opinion.
Now that the holidays are over and we are settling in the new year, it’s is a good time to do a “Spring De-Cluttering.” Spring decluttering is similar to spring cleaning, but instead of dusting and cleaning the windows, you will instead do some quick removal of unnecessary items.
Quick decluttering is making fast decisions about getting rid of stuff. But it doesn’t have to be drudgery. You can make it fun! Call in the family for an hour of collaborative activity. Dial up your favorite tunes and rock on together!
Here are some helpful tips to follow:
◆ Throw out the trash: Pick up noticeable and obvious trash around the house, such as old papers, food wrappers, plastic bags, etc.
◆ Recycle: Collect all the recyclables, such as plastics, cans, bottles, newspaper and boxes, and take them to your recycling center. You’d be surprised how much you can get for the stuff that is taking up space in your house.
◆ Move items into the proper room: Only kitchen items go in the kitchen and only bedroom items go in the bedroom. Go room by room and take out items that don’t belong in that room. Then put it in the room it belongs in. And don’t forget to put your Christmas decorations away!
Now that the holidays are over and we are settling in the new year, it’s is a good time to do a “Spring De-Cluttering.” Spring decluttering is similar to spring cleaning, but instead of dusting and cleaning the windows, you will instead do some quick removal of unnecessary items.
Sharon Young and Jim Nishimoto first met in 1989. They were in their 40s, working together at Group 70 International Inc., a local planning and architectural firm. Sharon was a single mom with three children. Jim was happily married to Gail and the father of two children.
Sharon was widowed at the young age of 33 after caring for her husband at home for over two years. Mike passed away in 1982, leaving her to raise her children alone while working fulltime — sometimes at multiple jobs.
Jim served as the president/chief operating officer of the architectural firm, and later as the vice chairman. But in 2010, he left to become the full-time caregiver for his wife, who began to exhibit signs of dementia. He felt that he wouldn’t be able to devote the necessary time and attention to his work with his wife at home under someone else’s care. Gail passed away in early 2016.
In late 2016, Jim’s thoughts turned to his former Group 70 workmate, Sharon. Wondering if she had married again, memories of their previous friendship propelled him forward.
Jim began asking former office colleagues and friends about Sharon, trying to track down her whereabouts. Finally, he followed a lead to a last known residence. He took a chance. He drove to the address and left a business card in the mailbox. On the card, he asked if she would call him.
“She took some time to respond,” says Jim. Apparently, Sharon had her own questions about him, consulting with friends and former coworkers. “She responded only after finding out that Gail had passed away.”
When Sharon finally responded, they met for dinner.
While they were caretakers, they missed out on many opportunities. Being widowed left a strong desire to enjoy life to the fullest. They decided they did not want life to pass them by without enjoying each other’s company for as long as possible.
Both nearing age 70, they were married the following year with the blessings of their friends, children and grandchildren.
“It is always better to enjoy life with someone — someone special,” they said.
Their bond is their shared love of family, music, the arts, travel, and more importantly, their shared love of the Lord. At their wedding, Pastor Francis Oda said their marriage “was made in heaven.” Jim says “their marriage happened because of heaven.” They both believe that it is the Lord who brought them together after all those years — for a second chance at love.
Sharon Young and Jim Nishimoto first met in 1989. They were in their 40s, working together at Group 70 International Inc., a local planning and architectural firm. Sharon was a single mom with three children. Jim was happily married to Gail and the father of two children. Sharon was widowed at the young age of…
Harold Tanouye started the beginnings of Green Point Nurseries in 1957, when Hilo’s economy had not yet recovered from the impacts of WWII. Residents were moving away due to lack of work.
Harold wanted to live in his hometown, but needed employment. He recognized a demand for anthuriums, which military personnel and civilians were sending home during the war.
Although growing anthuriums in Hilo may have been only a part-time, backyard-type industry back then, Harold soon realized this was going to be his life’s work.
As a teenager, Harold got the opportunity to go to Grinnell College in Iowa. He worked summer jobs on local farms in the Midwestern heat.
Harold taught son Eric, who now passes that knowledge to his sons, Christopher, Jonathan (pictured) and Mark.
“He was a small Asian guy, so the farmers would task him with cleaning the inside of the silos,” says Eric, Harold’s oldest son. “They give the new kids that job. It was easily over 100 degrees inside the silos. He joked about it a lot.”
Even so, Harold said his time in the Midwest was one of the best experiences of his life.
He returned to Hawai‘i and raised four children — two boys and two girls — with his wife. “But he never lost his Midwest values and customs,” says Eric. “He brought us up that way.”
“We all grew up on the farm,” says Eric. “Like most farm kids, when our friends were going to the bowling alley or going fishing, we had to work. We all grew up with responsibilities.”
Eric and Lolita Tanouye have three sons. Their two older boys, Christopher and Jonathan, have joined Eric in the family business, the third generation to do so. Their youngest son Mark is currently studying horticulture at the University of Hawai‘i at Mānoa as a graduate student at the College of Tropical Agriculture and Human Resources. He will join the family business soon.
A budding fourth generation may work in the family business down the road. Oldest son Chris and his wife Jeribie have two sons — Ethan, almost 3, and Oscar, 6 months old. Second son Jonathan and his wife Remi recently brought that generation’s first girl into the family fold. Makenna is about 10 months old. “As soon as they can walk, we put them to work,” Eric joked, referring to the family’s ingrained work ethic.
Although Harold learned old-school values while in the Midwest, he didn’t attribute that way of thinking and living to the location, but to a bygone era. “Those values are in line with the mother country’s values during that time,” Eric says. His father was a third-generation descendant of Japanese immigrants.
Eric iterated his father’s list of old-school ideals: “Go to sleep early, get up early, work hard, do the best you can at your job, don’t complain, save money for a rainy day, respect your elders and never talk back. Help the less fortunate. Share what you have with others. Be community-minded. Don’t say anything bad about others. Compliment others; never boast. Be courteous to women and elders. Make sure they are taken care of.”
“In high school, we didn’t cut the boys loose,” says Eric. “They probably didn’t like it, but every summer, they worked in the nursery. We exposed them to working with our employees and learning tasks from the ground up. They learned humility. They learned everything from the simple-skill jobs to running their own crews. They got exposed to different types of responsibilities and it gave them some self-confidence early on.”
While attending college, each son ran his own Saturday morning farmer’s market supplied with Green Point flowers, foliage and other nursery products. Chris attended the University of Hawai‘i on O‘ahu and ran a market at Kapi‘olani Community College. Jon had a booth at Kino‘ole Farmers Market while attending UH-Hilo.
“They had to learn a lot about the family business because people would ask them all kinds of questions,” says Eric. “Most farm kids are a little bashful and quiet. They had to come out of their shell. It taught them to speak clearly and with confidence.” They also realized they had to be on their best behavior, and had to carry themselves well as representatives of the family and the family business. “I’m glad they got that opportunity to learn what we do here every week,” says Eric.
“My first mentor was my father,” says Eric. “Now deceased, he left a lasting imprint. Now our focus is to train our next generation to carry on the legacy of their grandfather.”
Harold Tanouye started the beginnings of Green Point Nurseries in 1957, when Hilo’s economy had not yet recovered from the impacts of WWII. Residents were moving away due to lack of work. Harold wanted to live in his hometown, but needed employment. He recognized a demand for anthuriums, which military personnel and civilians were sending…
In life, we have sunshine and rainbows and clouds and storms,” says Liane K. Chong on her website. It is a apt introduction to her inspirational autobiography, Hope Inspires Strength: How One Woman Overcame Insurmountable Odds. She tells readers how she faced challenges with courage, the right mindset and by finding hope where none seemed to exist. It’s a moving, powerful story about strength, focus, perseverance and determination.
Liane and her husband and daughter were living an enviable life in Hawai‘i. Hardships began.
She suddenly lost her father at the young age of 54. Soon after, her mother developed a debilitating disease that left her paralyzed and in need of constant care. So at age, 31, Liane took over the daunting task of caring for her mother. Then, a few months later, they found out that their newborn baby boy had cortical blindness, cerebral palsy, autism, and might never walk or talk.
Liane chose not to give up. She chose to succeed. Not only did she survive, she thrived, becoming a successful entrepreneur.
The author’s story will surely refocus anyone feeling like life has become too overwhelming. Her legacy of hope is bound to help you find your strength.
In life, we have sunshine and rainbows and clouds and storms,” says Liane K. Chong on her website. It is a apt introduction to her inspirational autobiography, Hope Inspires Strength: How One Woman Overcame Insurmountable Odds. She tells readers how she faced challenges with courage, the right mindset and by finding hope where none seemed…
The gang’s all here to help you adapt to aging with some cool devices: (L–R, front) Monty Anderson-Nitahara, Barbara Fischlowitz-Leong, (back) Katie Friedman, Hannah Diaz, Janelle Feliciano and Harvey Gordon
As we mature, our bodies may no longer work the way they once did — our eyes and ears are not quite as sharp; our hands not quite as steady. We may find ourselves straining to see the TV; we may no longer be able to read our favorite publications; we may need to ask people to speak up or repeat themselves.
Fortunately, technology can help us regain
what was lost due to aging. These tools fall into two different categories: durable medical equipment (DME), which includes wheelchairs, walkers and walking sticks; and assistive technology (AT), which includes magnifiers, talking computers, audible books and document readers.
Ask a professional to help you find what works best for you. At ATRC, we specialize in helping you identify the exact device and model that fits you — at no cost. Call us for more information.
ASSISTIVE TECHNOLOGY RESOURCE CENTERS OF HAWAI‘I (501(c) 3 nonprofit)
200 N. Vineyard Blvd., Ste. 430, Honolulu, HI 96817 808-532-7111 | monty@atrc.org | www.atrc.org
As we mature, our bodies may no longer work the way they once did — our eyes and ears are not quite as sharp; our hands not quite as steady. We may find ourselves straining to see the TV; we may no longer be able to read our favorite publications; we may need to ask…
As a first-generation Chinese American, she portrays a feeling of spiritual homelessness as she charts her itinerant journey through her lyrical narrative of Asian diasporic experiences.
Darien is the author of six novels, five of which have been translated into 11 languages. Three were written under the name Mia King.
