Category: Living Life

  • Wait — Don’t Die Yet! – A Practical Guide

    Annette Kam’s free eBook is “a complete guide to all thing no one really wants to think about (but everyone needs to know!).” The guidebook was written last year, after the author endured a heart-wrenching ordeal.

    WAIT — Don’t Die Yet! is a step-by-step guide for adult children and spouses who are either  preparing for their own death or someone else’s. The guidebook covers the basics of getting affairs in order, while also teaching you about the mundane tasks necessary around the time of death.

    “A comprehensive tool that empowers rather than depresses you, this helpful approach allows you to deal with the practicalities of death while offering the hands-on guidance you need to make sure you have time to grieve,” says a review.

    In Part One, the three-part book reveals the author’s story as she dealt with unknowns regarding the passing of her beloved in-laws. Part Two shares lessons she learned along the way. Part Three is a comprehensive guidebook that includes not only basic requirements, but also all of the things that no one thinks about — all of the necessary tasks you need to complete before, during and after death.

    “There were over 110 things I wish I had known when I experienced it all and they are all incorporated in the guidebook,” says Annette.


    WAIT — DON’T DIE YET!
    buckwun@aol.com | www.annettekam.com

    Annette Kam’s free eBook is “a complete guide to all thing no one really wants to think about (but everyone needs to know!).” The guidebook was written last year, after the author endured a heart-wrenching ordeal. WAIT — Don’t Die Yet! is a step-by-step guide for adult children and spouses who are either  preparing for…

  • Five Proactive Conversations

    photo of daughter whispering some serious issue to her old motherDad passed away many years ago. Mom is 79 and very active. She golfs, plays mahjong, exercises and, of course, plays with her grandkids. Although we’re grateful Mom is healthy, we’re also  concerned because she now lives all alone in the large house we grew up in.

    My siblings and I have noticed some changes in Mom. We were caught off guard during Sunday dinner, when she asked us, “Should I move? I don’t really feel safe living alone. Where would be the best place for me to live?”

    We all just looked at each other. We all agreed that Mom’s safety and needs are priority No. 1. But what was the best answer to her question?

    Here are five topics to consider when having a proactive conversation with loved ones about a potential move:

    • Physical Needs. Will my current home fit my needs for the remainder of my life? Do I have too many stairs to climb? What home renovations may be needed to accommodate all the stages of care I may require? Who is equipped and trained to help when advanced healthcare is needed? If my home isn’t the best place for me, what are my options? If it is determined that aging in place at home will not be possible, a move will be the next likely step. Senior living options include retirement communities, continuing-care retirement communities, assisted living facilities, senior co-housing communities, senior home-sharing, nursing homes or other facilities, depending on the level of care needed now or expected in the future.
    • Cognitive/Mental. Am I in an environment that will encourage my thirst for knowledge and continued growth? Will I be able to stay at home if my memory declines? Will I even be able to make my own decisions later in life? How can I plan now, in case I can’t later?
    • Emotional/Social. Will I be able to spend time with my friends and loved ones?
    • Financial. What options exist for the budget we have to work with?
    • Family Dynamics. How can I leave a legacy for my family?

    Consider your answers to these questions and then begin your research. Knowing your choices can help make the process much easier.


    THE COMPLETE SOLUTION™
    Powered by The Ihara Team of Keller Williams Honolulu RB-21303
    1347 Kapiolani Blvd., Ste. 300, Honolulu, HI 96814
    Dan Ihara (RA), CAPS, CLHMS, SRES RS-65892
    808-256-7873
    Julie Ihara (RA), SRES RS- 67440
    808-754-2225 | ihara@iharateam.com
    www.iharateamhawaii.kw.com

    Dad passed away many years ago. Mom is 79 and very active. She golfs, plays mahjong, exercises and, of course, plays with her grandkids. Although we’re grateful Mom is healthy, we’re also  concerned because she now lives all alone in the large house we grew up in.

  • Living with Diabetes: It’s a Family Affair

    Living with Diabetes: It’s a Family Affair

    Living With Diabetes, it's a family affairFamily plays a key role in the well-being of a loved one diagnosed with diabetes or prediabetes. While such a diagnosis might seem overwhelming, it is the small things we do daily that determine how the condition will progress. Family members can help and encourage their loved one by becoming part of their healthcare team.

    Twenty-five years ago, when Dante Carpenter’s wife, Olan, learned her husband had been  diagnosed with diabetes, she threw out every food in the house that might tempt him and worsen his condition. Her concerns and actions helped set Dante on the path to managing his diabetes through lifestyle changes.

    Dante has been actively involved with the American Diabetes Association Hawaii (ADA Hawaii) for many years. That relationship led to him twice being a conference speaker for Taking Control of Your Diabetes, a nonprofit that works to educate and motivate people with diabetes to take a more active role in their condition. It is a perfect fit with the ADA’s own goals. Dante and Olan’s daughter, Dr. Dee-Ann Carpenter, MD, associate professor at the John A. Burns School of Medicine, is also c committed to sharing knowledge that helps people manage their diabetes through the nonprofit University Health Partners of Hawai‘i. She also is the immediate past president of the ADA Hawaii Community Leadership Board.

    What is diabetes?

    The food and drinks that provide your body with energy contain varying amounts of glucose (sugar) that enter your bloodstream. Insulin, a hormone produced by the pancreas, helps this blood sugar get into your body’s cells, where it can be used for energy. In Type 1 diabetes (T1), which affects mainly children and young adults, the pancreas doesn’t make any insulin at all. In Type 2 diabetes (T2) and prediabetes — which together affect half of Hawai‘i’s adults — the glucose stays in your blood and doesn’t reach your cells. That happens because your body either doesn’t make enough insulin or doesn’t use it well.

    Diabetes and prediabetes have serious health consequences. Diabetic comas are a dramatic example, but the everyday effects of the disease include problems with eye and dental health, heart and kidney problems, and the loss of blood flow to infected or injured body tissue, which may result in gangrene and amputation.

    It’s all about choices

    One of the predictors determining who is at risk for diabetes is family medical history. You have absolutely no choice in that, of course, but how you choose to react to a diabetes diagnosis is a huge factor in how little or how much your own health will be affected by the disease.

    Dante’s mother had T2 diabetes, predisposing him to it. His brother, Monte, was also diagnosed with T2, but found it difficult to make the lifestyle changes necessary to control its effects.

    “He never shared his ailments,” Dante says, “He just kind of lived with it.”

    Because Monte lived on the mainland, Dee-Ann adds, her family didn’t find out how serious his health problems were until near the end of his life.

    “He had kidney disease and had been on dialysis,” she said. He had lost his vision because of  diabetes and had several amputations. Monte’s wife was a dialysis nurse and tried to steer him toward healthier choices. But Monte was “pa‘akikī — hardheaded,” Dante says, and wouldn’t give up the chocolates and other sugary treats he loved.

    Dialysis, eyesight loss and limb loss are common complications of diabetes, but typically don’t occur until 10 or 20 years down the road. By making healthy choices, Dante has staved off those  complications for 25 years plus the years prior to that when he had undiagnosed prediabetes. Because the early symptoms of diabetes can go unnoticed, the sooner you start making healthy choices, the better. That is why the ADA strongly emphasizes prevention.

    Find out your risk early

    The ADA offers a free Risk Test to all its corporate sponsors via QR codes on flyers that are posted in lunchrooms and also through outreach to the general public at, for example, community health centers and community events. The list on pg. 35 has a link to the online version of the test.

    “When you do the test, you receive a low or high score along with a list of resources available in your area,” says ADA Hawaii Executive Director Lorraine Leslie. “Being overweight or obese, inactivity, family history, ethnicity and age are a few of the risk factors.”

    Native Hawaiians, Pacific Islanders, Filipinos and others of Asian descent are particularly susceptible to developing diabetes. In response, some of ADA Hawaii’s resources have been translated into 13 languages as public service announcements.

    The questions asked in the test — which take only a minute to complete — are based on those risk factors. What is your age? Your gender? (Women are asked if they have had gestational diabetes — diabetes while pregnant.) Family history? Do you have high blood pressure? Are you physically active? What race or ethnicity best describes you? What is your body mass index (BMI), which is calculated by entering your height and weight?

    The ADA belongs to a coalition created by the National Council of Asian Pacific Islander Physicians (NCAPIP) to promote a healthcare initiative called “Screen at 23.” BMI is a measure of body fat. A BMI score of 25 is usually the point at which healthcare providers refer their patients for diabetes or prediabetes screening. Since Asian Americans are at high risk of having those conditions but tend to have less body fat, it is recommended that they be screened at a BMI of 23.

    It is easy to see, just from the Risk Test questions themselves, that there are areas in which we can all be proactive in preventing diabetes, even if we get a low score on the risk test. We can’t change our age, gender or ethnicity, but we can do something about avoiding high blood pressure, exercising regularly and keeping our weight down in order to lower our BMI. And, since “family history” includes the environmental and lifestyle factors that family members share, we can do something about those, too.

    Gain access to good nutrition

    Nanosecond by nanosecond, 24 hours a day, a multitude of different types of cells in your body are busy enabling all the functions you take for granted in day-to-day living. Without good, balanced nutrition, some bodily processes falter and may even shut down altogether.

    But we’re busy, too, right? Preparing healthy, nutritious meals can be time-consuming and, especially in Hawai‘i, the ingredients are often expensive. Dr. Dee-Ann notes the many fast food restaurants lining the road to Wai‘anae and the West Side of O‘ahu, which has a high proportion of Native Hawaiian residents.

    “You’ve just finished work at your second job,” she says. “You’re just going to get something quick and easy because you’re tired and it’s cheaper than going to MA‘O Farms to get the fresh food that you really want to feed your family. It’s hard… it’s really hard.”

    The ADA understands these economic pressures. In March, May and June 2021, they partnered with the Native Hawaiian healthcare organization Ke Ola Mamo to distribute 300 boxes of healthy foods to those who pre-registered, and met income and other requirements. The event was “definitely created out of a need when COVID hit,” explains Lorraine. They already have additional food distributions planned for the balance of the year.

    The food box distribution was also an opportunity for the ADA to create awareness regarding other resources that are available to them. As cars were waiting in line to receive boxes of food, ADA volunteers approached them holding signs saying “Take the test. Scan here.” Those who scanned the QR code and took the Risk Test received their scores instantly and those with high scores (over 5) were advised to take them to their healthcare provider for follow-up. Or they could discuss them

    Share your diabetes diagnosis

    Sharing your diabetes diagnosis with family, work associates and classmates is of vital importance, Lorraine explains, “because you never know when you’re going to have a sugar high or a sugar low.” Sharing also helps avoid any misunderstandings about why you are injecting yourself. As part of its advocacy role, ADA Hawaii worked with a young man to assist with reinstating his job. A co-worker had seen him self-injecting and reported it to their supervisor, who fired the young man on the spot because he thought he was a drug user. Had the young man told his employer about his medical needs after he was hired, the misunderstanding would not have occurred. And if the co-worker and supervisor had been more aware of what self-treatment for diabetes might entail, they might not have acted so hastily.

    The ADA has been advocating at a national level for a zero-dollar co-pay for insulin during the COVID-19 emergency and pushing state and federal efforts to ensure insulin is affordable and accessible. Since COVID, says Lorraine, the No. 1 reason for people calling ADA has been to find out about resources, especially for help with paying for medications and food. She recommends using Community Connection because it narrows the search down by ZIP Code and includes resources specific to your locality.

    Dr. Dee-Ann also suggests asking your healthcare provider for assistance in applying for free medications if the pharmaceutical company making your medicine provides that option and you qualify based on income. Some stores, such as Walmart, allow for lower costs of medication if you are uninsured. Medicare covers the cost of lab tests if your doctor determines you’re at risk, and some Medicare Advantage Plans participate in a senior savings plan that limits the cost of a month’s supply of insulin to $35 if you meet the criteria.

    For the children

    Family is at the heart of everything we are as individuals. It is a source of our values, our joys, our sorrows, and can be the wellspring of our motivation to do better — not just for ourselves, but for other family members and the wider community we live in.

    Your keiki can be an important part of your healthcare team. One of the major healthy living motivators for elders with diabetes is to continue sharing the joy of interacting with their grandchildren.

    A story Dante shares at Taking Control of Your Diabetes events is how his grandkids scold him when he slips up. When he does, they say “We’ll pull the plug on your wheelchair!” When he first got his diabetes diagnosis, Dante asked Olan why she was throwing out all his favorite foods, she replied: “Look, I am not going to push you in a wheelchair!” His mo‘opuna say that to him, too, when he strays. Dante then replies that he will get an electric one, then. That’s when they threaten to pull the plug…

    Dr. Dee-Ann adds that kūpuna can also model healthy lifestyle choices for their grandkids. About 17 percent of children and adolescents in the US are obese, exposing them to having an increased risk of developing T2 diabetes. So instead of giving them candies, she says, share an apple with them. Take them along when you go to exercise in the pool or go for a walk. Have a fun day with them at the beach.

    For children who have received a diabetes diagnosis, the ADA offers two virtual programs. Project Power, for kids ages 5 to 12, is a free at-home virtual after-school experience that takes place for an hour twice a week. It will begin again in October. The ADA’s virtual summer camp is held in June and July each year.

    Understanding & moderation

    “Understanding” is a word that has many meanings. As we each consider the role that diabetes might play or is currently playing in our lives, all of its nuances come into play. By taking the Risk Test, we come to understand what risk factors we need to address. Even if our score on the test is low, it is wise to take preventive measures. Make the effort to understand what your healthcare provider is asking of you in order to attain a healthy lifestyle. Pay attention to what is going on with your health on a daily basis, so that you can help your doctor understand how best to address your healthcare needs. Share your diabetes journey with loved ones so that you can come to an understanding — mutual agreement — about what changes need to be made in order to achieve your healthcare goals.

    But also be understanding — accepting of yourself and others. As a person with diabetes or prediabetes, don’t blame yourself if you occasionally have slip-ups. If you are caring for or know a person with diabetes or prediabetes, don’t blame them for their condition. Encourage and help them in any way you can. Be patient with yourself and others. Stress is one of the factors that can worsen the health of those with diabetes, so it’s best to come to terms with it instead of becoming anxious. As Lorraine says, “You can have diabetes and still have an active, healthy life. The key is moderation.”

    The work of ADA Hawaii is critical with over 442,000 adults in Hawaii affected by prediabetes or diabetes. ADA Hawaii provides access to a hotline, assistance acquiring insulin and many other resources.

    ADA RESOURCES
     Hotline 1-800-DIABETES (1-800-342-2383)
     COVID-19 Website
    www.diabetes.org/coronavirus
     Assistance Accessing Insulin
    www.insulinhelp.org
     Community Connection
    www.adacommunityconnection.org
     Diabetes Risk Test
    www.diabetes.org/risk-test
     Living with Type 2 Diabetes
    https://bit.ly/LivingWithType2
     Diabetes Food Hub
    www.diabetesfoodhub.org
     Diabetes Plate Method
    https://bit.ly/DiabetesPlateMethod
     Fitness
    https://www.diabetes.org/healthy-living/fitness
     Heart Disease and Stroke
    https://www.knowdiabetesbyheart.org
     Ask the Experts
    https://diabetes.org/ask-the-experts
     Project Power
    www.diabetes.org/community/project-power
     Diabetes Camp
    www.diabetes.org/community/camp
     Safe at School
    https://bit.ly/DiabetesRightsAtSchool
     Advocacy
    www.diabetes.org/advocacy

    OTHER RESOURCES
     Taking Control of Your Diabetes https://tcoyd.org
     Ke Ola Mamo www.keolamamo.org/ada
     Screen at 23 https://screenat23.org
     Medicare Diabetes Screening Coverage
    www.medicare.gov/coverage/diabetes-screenings
     Timeline of Insulin Discovery
    https://bit.ly/Insulin100TheDiscovery


    AMERICAN DIABETES ASSOCIATION
    800-342-2383 | www.diabetes.org
    P.O. Box 7023, Merrifield, VA 22116-7023
    Hawaii Local Office
    ADAHawaii@diabetes.org
    808-947-5979 | Facebook: @ADAHawaii

    Family plays a key role in the well-being of a loved one diagnosed with diabetes or prediabetes. While such a diagnosis might seem overwhelming, it is the small things we do daily that determine how the condition will progress. Family members can help and encourage their loved one by becoming part of their healthcare team.

  • Gerofit for Veterans

    Gerofit is a group-based exercise program for veterans aged 65 years and older. This program, meeting at the Veterans Affairs Pacific Islands Health Care Systems (VAPIHCS) in the Community Living Center (CLC), has transitioned to a telehealth-based exercise program offered two or three times weekly.

    Joe Kuroda (93) and Henry Lee (90) are active participants giving younger veterans aged 65 to 88 a purpose. In addition to being a former state Senator, Joe also served in World War II in the US Army, rising to the rank of colonel. Harold is a retired command sergeant major who served in three conflicts. Both lead by example, motivating those decades younger than them in exercising and the importance of a healthy lifestyle. To join Gerofit, you must be referred by a VA doctor.

    Gerofit has demonstrated improved health, mental, physical function and wellbeing for veterans.
    Gerofit has demonstrated improved health, mental, physical function and wellbeing for veterans.

    Classes are limited to seven per group, allowing the therapist/instructor to closely monitor the progress of each veteran. Currently there are six active groups. It was a challenge initially to convert to telehealth, but veterans eventually connected through iPads, tablets and personal computers and the program grew.

    When it is deemed safe to reopen the CLC, everyone is looking forward to returning for the comradery and potluck kaukau!


    VFW DEPARTMENT OF HAWAII (501(c) 3 nonprofit)
    438 Hobron Lane, Ste. 407, Honolulu, HI 96815
    808-946-7250 | adj@vfw-dept-hi.org
    www.vfw-dept-hi.org

    Gerofit is a group-based exercise program for veterans aged 65 years and older. This program, meeting at the Veterans Affairs Pacific Islands Health Care Systems in the Community Living Center, has transitioned to a telehealth-based exercise program offered two or three times weekly.

  • Easier Rider: Boomers Boost E-Bike Use

    Fueled by the pandemic, bicycling in general has experienced a boom. Biking is an ideal way to exercise while socially distancing.

    Electric bicycles (e-bikes), much like toilet paper, face masks and hand sanitizer, are another pandemic success story. As Americans emerged from lockdowns, most e-bike companies saw sales skyrocket. While people of all ages buy e-bikes as an eco-friendly, alternative means of transportation, seniors are the largest target market.

    E-bikes are revolutionizing cycling for senior adults, allowing us to ride longer, faster and with little or no pain. The low-impact exercise is simply easier on an aging body. With an e-bike, “over-the-hill”  boomers can get a little help getting over that hill without injuring muscles and joints.

    Recently retired Maui schoolteacher Sharon Heinzman loves her new e-bike. “Its all the fun of a bike ride without all of the work battling Upcountry’s hilly terrain.”
    Recently retired Maui schoolteacher Sharon Heinzman loves her new e-bike. “Its all the fun of a bike ride without all of the work battling Upcountry’s hilly terrain.”

    Health Benefits

    Cycling improves cardiovascular health while pumping more blood to the brain, contributing to improved mood. Medical researchers have even discovered that cycling helps alleviate the symptoms of Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s diseases.

    Seniors who bike together also reap social benefits in the safety of the great outdoors. Seniors who live in bike-friendly communities can use e-bikes as regular means of transportation to do shopping and errands.

    While riding an e-bike may not be as intense a workout as riding a regular bike, users are much more likely to ride longer and more often, because the e-bike experience is more enjoyable.

    How an E-bike Works

    E-bikes are conventional bicycles with assistive superpowers. Riders use gears and pedals most of the time, just like with a traditional bike, but have the option to give themselves a boost, thanks to a rechargeable lithium-ion battery-powered motor. The small motor can be engaged to help you whiz up hills and battle head winds more easily.

    Buying an E-Bike

    Just like traditional bikes, different models of e-bikes are available depending on the rider’s needs. The most popular styles for seniors are cruiser bikes, trikes and recumbents. E-bikes are more complicated and expensive than conventional bicycles, so you need to do your research.

    There are three classes of e-bikes: Pedal-assist electric bikes provide assistance only when the rider is pedaling and only up to 20 mph. Throttle-assist e-bikes let you use the motor without pedaling, also up to 20 mph. Speed pedal-assist e-bikes are similar to pedal-assist bikes, except the motor will assist with speeds of up to 28 mph.

    The average e-bike weighs about 50-plus pounds. Prices vary widely, starting at about $1,000 and going as high as $12,000.

    Find a bike shop in your area so you can test-ride a few and begin rolling back the years!

    For information about Hawai‘i’s e-bike laws, visit http://bit.ly/HawaiiE-bikeLaws.

    E-bikes are revolutionizing cycling for senior adults, allowing us to ride longer, faster and with little or no pain. The low-impact exercise is simply easier on an aging body. With an e-bike, “over-the-hill”  boomers can get a little help getting over that hill without injuring muscles and joints.

  • Do You Have a REAL ID?

    In Hawai‘i, residents were asked to obtain a REAL ID-compliant Hawai‘i driver’s license or state identification card with the star in a gold circle marking by Oct. 1, 2020. But due to the COVID-19  pandemic, the Department of Homeland Security has extended the REAL ID enforcement deadline to Oct. 1, 2021.

    After Oct. 1, 2021, only federal-compliant REAL ID driver licenses and state ID cards will be accepted to get on domestic airline flights and to enter certain federal buildings and military bases. A US passport or military ID can be used as an alternate identification.

    When acquiring or renewing a driver license or state ID card, residents must indicate on the  application whether the card will be federal-compliant REAL ID. There is no additional fee for the star.

    Having a state ID is voluntary, not required, and typically used only by those who don’t have a driver license. You may hold a REAL ID-compliant driver license or state ID, not both.

    There is no rush to acquire one if your state ID is not nearing expiration. Valid Hawai‘i state ID cards are compliant with Department of Homeland Security standards until Oct. 1, 2021.

    A state ID costs $40 and is good for eight years. It can take six weeks for your permanent card.


    STATE ID ISSUING LOCATIONS FOR EACH COUNTY
    City/County of Honolulu: http://bit.ly/stateIDHonolulu
    Maui County: http://bit.ly/stateIDMauiCounty
    Hawai‘i County: http://bit.ly/stateIDHawaiiCounty
    Kaua‘i County: www.kauai.gov/DMV
    For more information: http://bit.ly/stateIDfaqs

    In Hawai‘i, residents were asked to obtain a REAL ID-compliant Hawai‘i driver’s license or state identification card with the star in a gold circle marking by Oct. 1, 2020. But due to the COVID-19  pandemic, the Department of Homeland Security has extended the REAL ID enforcement deadline to Oct. 1, 2021.

  • Chinese American Culture, Identity, Home

    Photo of Darien Hsu Gee
    Darien Hsu Gee

    What does it mean to be Chinese American?

    How are we reflected in the people we love and us in them?

    What obligation do we have to those who share our blood?

    How does a woman claim her life as her own?

    Where is my true home?

    Big Island bestselling novelist Darien Hsu Gee explores the answers to these questions through her poetic memoir and award-winning poetry, which debuted last fall in Allegiance and Other Small Histories.

    In Allegiance, a collection of micro-essays and prose poems, Darien explores her Chinese American identity and themes of belonging. Darien navigates the complexity of family dynamics in search of her identity.

    As a first-generation Chinese American, she portrays a feeling of spiritual homelessness as she charts her itinerant journey through her lyrical narrative of Asian diasporic experiences.

    “Gee is a marvelously direct writer of powerful autobiographical vignettes, each one telling in its quiet ferocity for personal revelation, each a momentary, lyric ascent above everyday confusion,” says fourth-generation Japanese American poet Garrett Hongo.

    Other Small Histories, a collection of poems, was selected as a Poetry Society of America 2019 Chapbook Fellowship winner by Patricia Smith, who called the book “a lush and lyrical chronicle of a walking back, a mesmerizing merge of research, vision and invention that gradually crafts a story of the women in her matriarchal line.” One critic wrote, “These luminous narratives explore complex familial relationships with spare, controlled prose. Gee is an eloquent writer whose voice resonates well past the last page.”

    Darien is the author of six novels, five of which have been translated into 11 languages. Three were written under the name Mia King.

    She holds a BA from Rice University and an MFA from the Rainier Writing Workshop at Pacific Lutheran University. She serves as series editor for the Hali‘a Aloha micro-memoir and hybrid publishing program. She and her family currently live in Waikōloa on the Big Island.


    DARIEN HSU GEE
    www.dariengee.com
    Other Small Histories: Poems: http://bit.ly/PoemsGee
    Allegiance: Micro Essays: http://bit.ly/AllegianceGee
    Hali‘a Aloha Series: http://bit.ly/HaliaAlohaGee

    What does it mean to be Chinese American? How are we reflected in the people we love and us in them? What obligation do we have to those who share our blood? How does a woman claim her life as her own? Where is my true home? Big Island bestselling novelist Darien Hsu Gee explores…

  • Ching Ming Festival Honors Ancestors

    When Douglas D.L. Chong thinks about celebrating Ching Ming as a child, he remembers waking up before dawn to the smells of home cooking. Sitting in traffic en route to the Mānoa Chinese Cemetery, a line of cars backs up all the way to University Avenue. Finally, around 7am, his family would reach their oldest ancestors’ grave sites, arriving there at the same time as about 40 other relatives.

    “There were literally thousands of thousands of Chinese; hundreds of families,” he recalls. Chong is the president of the Hawaii Chinese History Center. “You’d bring all the kids; all the grandchildren. Everybody had to go to these rituals. It was a big thing — the only time the whole clan would get together.”

    “This is where family history, family lore and connections are made,” he says, “but always invoking the spirits of those ancestors, asking them to bless the offspring.”

    A springtime ritual paying homage to family ancestors, the Ching Ming Festival is still celebrated in Hawai‘i each April. A month-long period during which families clean grave markers and pay respects to deceased parents, grandparents, great-grandparents (and so on), it begins with a community gathering. This year, due to the pandemic, the United Chinese Society hosted a private opening ceremony April 4 at the Tomb of the Grand Ancestor in Mānoa.

    Started in the 1850s, the Mānoa Chinese Cemetery sits on the ‘Akāka peak on the east side of former ag lands, surrounded on three sides by the Ko‘olau Mountains. ‘Akāka offers a clear view to the water — the Pacific Ocean — thus adhering to important concepts of feng shui, the practice of aligning oneself with nature.

    “You have to be facing the water in feng shui,” Chong said. “That water is the blood of the Earth dragon — the dragon of the Earth.”

    Opening ceremonies of Ching Ming this year included some of the usual trappings, but gatherings were smaller. Still, Chinese families will gather at the 10 Chinese cemeteries on O‘ahu, or the dozen cemeteries on Big Island and Maui.  Graves will be tidied and cleaned. Before cemetery caretakers were employed, Ching Ming was one of the few times in the year grass and foliage would be manicured, said Michelle Choy, a past president of the Chinese Chamber of Commerce who is active in the Chinese community. She typically attends five or so Ching Ming graveside ceremonies with family and friends; this year, she’ll likely attend only two.

    While each family has its own traditions, the most traditional graveside ceremony is a long one involving symbolic grave decorations and five traditional dishes presented along with drinks and incense. A whole roast pig is presented.

    Sometimes, paper objects — including spirit money — are burned so as to send an ancestor into the afterlife with all the necessary resources. Douglas and Michelle mentioned offering spirit money to ancestors who liked to go to Las Vegas.

    With its focus on filial piety, the ritual begins and ends with firecrackers and includes each relative bowing several times to the ancestor.

    Douglas feels satisfied and pleased watching his grandchildren and children perform Ching Ming rituals, which begin for his family at the site of his grandfather’s grave on a hillside in Mānoa. One of his grandsons is a student at Maryknoll, learning one of the five dialects of the Chinese language Douglas himself speaks.

    “It’s my hope once they are exposed to it, they internalize it to make it a part of themselves,” he said. “My main theme in all of this is not cultural identity. This isn’t my cultural identity; it’s not my culture. It’s my own true self-identity.”

    When Douglas D.L. Chong thinks about celebrating Ching Ming as a child, he remembers waking up before dawn to the smells of home cooking. Sitting in traffic en route to the Mānoa Chinese Cemetery, a line of cars backs up all the way to University Avenue. Finally, around 7am, his family would reach their oldest…

  • How to Be a Positive Communicator

    photo of a happy family

    If you feel some tension in your relationships, you are not alone. So do your part at home to protect loved
    ones’ feelings and emotions.

    Keys to Successful Communication

    • Rotate chores and praise each person for doing a slam dunk job.
    • LOL — Listen out loud to each other and avoid making comments.
    • Use connecting conversations to soothe feelings by cutting out criticism, pushy words and rolling your eyes.
    • Remember, your kūpuna may be confused, so speak slowly, smile and give hand massages.
    • Introduce fun games and interactions. Kūpuna can become feisty competitors during bean bag toss and balloon volleyball.

    Pivot Negativity to Positivity

    –  I can’t pay my bills. (resignation)
    I’ll apply for assistance. (hopeful)
    –  I’m trapped at home! (anger)
    +  So I have more time for fun! (fun)
      I can’t go out and eat. (helpless)
    +  Let’s order takeout! (a good solution)
      Why now? Why me? (victim)
    +  I’m grateful I’m in good health. (appreciation)

    What seem like bitter trials are sometimes blessings in disguise. Practicing an attitude of gratitude can make all the difference.


    ANNETTE PANG-LIFE COACH VILLAGE, LLC
    2383 Beckwith St., Honolulu, HI 96822
    808-372-3478 | ap@annettepang.com
    www.annettepang.com

    If you feel some tension in your relationships, you are not alone. So do your part at home to protect loved ones’ feelings and emotions.

  • Kapu Breakers Help During Pandemic

    Photo of Angela Keen
    Angela Keen

    Former TV news reporter Angela Keen helps track down residents and visitors statewide who are not in compliance with the state’s COVID-19 quarantine rules and mask mandate through the Hawai‘i Quarantine Kapu Breakers, a volunteer, community action group on Facebook.

    Angela joined the leadership team in March 2020. “The group enables me to use my journalism and reporting skills to investigate the people suspected of breaking quarantine,” says Angela. The original founder left the group last May, leaving Angela in charge.

    Angela also has personal reasons for getting involved in the group. “I am a COVID-19 survivor,” says Angela. “I had the virus when the group started. My situation was serious — it took me eight weeks to recover. I felt it was my kuleana to help prevent others from contracting it.”

    About 6,000 active members share tips through the group’s private Facebook page. Angela likens it to a neighborhood watch, aiding law enforcement to help stop the spread of COVID-19.

    “We are a unique group of professionals mixed with a few ku¯ puna,” says Angela. “Many kumu and ku¯ puna in the group are my advisors and mentors — to make sure we do things pono. Many feel our efforts help the ku¯ puna and others at high risk. But most of our members work in the tourism industry.” The group has lead teams in every county and members on all islands.

    Through these tips and information, she builds a digital file and sends it to the Hawai‘i attorney general’s office, where it is reviewed by the AG’s lead special investigator and his team. The quarantine breaker is usually arrested within 48 to 72 hours.

    As of this writing, HQKB has helped to identify more than 74 violators.

    Angela and her group also lobbied for a better statewide mask mandate. The group assists in enforcing it by holding weekend monitoring events. When they see unmasked people, they approach with a mask and a flyer explaining the mandate.

    The group also gets tips on large group gatherings. “For large parities, we ask people to call the non-emergency number of their local police department. Reports on mask or distancing issues at restaurants go to the state Department of Health.”

    Of those identified as kapu breakers, about 70 percent are tourists and 30 percent are locals.

    Angela has currently focused on lobbying, and working with state and county leaders.

    Find the group at www.facebook.com/groups/KapuBreakers. Membership is by referral only; nonmembers can report possible violations by emailing quarantinebreakers@gmail.com.

    Former TV news reporter Angela Keen helps track down residents and visitors statewide who are not in compliance with the state’s COVID-19 quarantine rules and mask mandate through the Hawai‘i Quarantine Kapu Breakers, a volunteer, community action group on Facebook.

  • Senior Pickleball is Exploding!

    Megan Crouse and Judy Teltscher LeLevier. PC: Laurie Loney
    Megan Crouse and Judy Teltscher LeLevier. PC: Laurie Loney

    Beginning players love the game immediately, because it is easy to learn, once you master the somewhat unconventional scorekeeping method. It’s fun at any skill level, providing exercise and social interaction, even during the pandemic.

    “I give lessons to local and visiting players; the majority are seniors,” says Laurie Loney, one of Maui’s four USA Pickleball ambassadors. “They have fun immediately! Most become hooked instantly and recruit their friends to join in.”

    Ambassadors like Laurie are volunteer representatives and unofficial spokespersons for USA Pickleball who promote goodwill and help grow the sport in their area.

    Laurie, a senior player, instructor and state gold medalist, estimates that about 80 percent of Maui’s 500-plus players are over 50, adding that the under-50 age group is also growing quickly.

    “The latest numbers show that Hawai‘i’s over- 50 players comprise about 70 percent of total players in the state,” says Jack Hodges of Kaua‘i, the state’s USA Pickleball ambassador. “We also have a very large group of under-50 players and a large group of players over age 70 on Kaua‘i, as well.”

    Megan teamed up with Laurie Loney for the 2019 Maui Pukaball Tournament. PC: Irene Bowering
    Megan teamed up with Laurie Loney for the 2019 Maui Pukaball Tournament. PC: Irene Bowering

    Laurie, who has had her own court for 18 years, says there were several private courts in South Maui back in the ’70s and ’80s. Since popularity of the game has increased at such a fast rate, players have commandeered existing tennis and basketball courts, awaiting designated, county -built pickleball courts. Private tennis clubs, such as Kapalua, Royal Lahaina, Wailea and the Maui Country Club, are accommodating pickleball play. There are also dedicated county courts at Waipuilani and Lahaina Civic. “But the current public facilities are becoming overwhelmed,” says Laurie. “The need for more courts is great.”

    Especially after COVID-19 restrictions were put in place, many pickleball fans are also playing in their driveways, neighborhood cul-de-sacs or condo parking lots. Some are even building their own 20-by-44-foot cement or asphalt courts on their private property.

    Looking for a game? Visit www.places2play.org or download the USA Pickleball Places2Play app.


    USA PICKLEBALL
    Hawai‘i Ambassador Jack Hodges
    808-634-4049 | jhodges26@mac.com
    Please adhere to your local COVID-19 safety regulations when playing or waiting to join a pickleball game.

    Pickleball is growing fast among fun-loving athletes and non-athletes alike. The paddle-and-ball game has become especially attractive to baby boomers and former tennis players. There is less acreage to cover for aging legs and the ball moves slower than in a typical tennis match.

  • Defying the Silver Tsunami Stereotype

    Doug Matsuoka started working at Hawaii Meals on Wheels (HMOW) seven years ago as a part-time delivery driver. But his previous computer experience opened the door to his current job as the IT (information technology) and digital media coordinator, and “YouTube guy.”

    He was an early adopter of computer technology, building his own microcomputer from a kit in the early 1980s. Doug learned his trade through various jobs.

    Doug worked as the director of technology for the Honolulu Board of Realtors for six years before coming to HMOW. As the years passed, Doug became aware of a growing chasm between his personal ideology and the goals of a real estate organization that grew more prosperous while homes became further out of reach for an increasing number of would-be owners. This crisis of conscience prompted Doug to quit his well-paying job.

    He left at age 57. His father died at 60, so assuming he may face the same fate, he wanted to spend his remaining time immersed in political activism — a socially conscious decision not based on dollar signs. He soon expended his savings and found himself homeless.

    “The problem, if I can call it a problem, was that I lived longer than my dad did,” Doug says.

    But it was through this political activism that he got to know the now-former executive director of HMOW, who eventually offered him a job.

    “I am not making the money that I once did, but I get to do what is beneficial to the community,” he said. “It is important how you make a living and I finally understand that completely now. It’s the best job I’ve ever had.”

    Pre-pandemic, about 500 HMOW volunteers — most of them seniors — delivered hot meals every day. “That’s what seniors do when their work obligations are finished… they still want to serve their community,” says Doug. However, now more meals are delivered by staff members rather than senior volunteers, due to safety concerns.

    Doug says that even though he and the seniors he knows have a lot to offer, when people talk about the Silver Tsunami, many think of older people only as consumers of social services. “It’s interesting getting older, because you age into a unique form of discrimination. Day by day, you start becoming aware of microaggressions — indirect, subtle, unintentional discrimination.”

    “People worry about meeting the demands of our growing older population, when actually, a lot of the older people are economically productive and serving the community,” says Doug. “Seniors run nonprofits, businesses… including the man who holds the highest office in the country.”

    Even so, seniors are often stereotyped. “Their biggest threat is their stereotype threat — the risk of conforming to the stereotype,” says Doug.

    Doug will soon be 69. “Old guys like me are not conforming to the stereotype. We are doing what we can in the community,” says Doug. “I am not alone. There are many my age and older who are social service providers, not consumers. I wish that was the senior stereotype: productive people who are a resource for the community.”

    Their professional experience and life perspectives continue to sculpt seniors into one of society’s most valuable resources.


    HAWAII MEALS ON WHEELS (501(c) 3 nonprofit)
    P.O. Box 61194, Honolulu HI 96839
    808-988-6747 | www.hmow.org

    Doug Matsuoka started working at Hawaii Meals on Wheels seven years ago as a part-time delivery driver. But his previous computer experience opened the door to his current job as the IT and digital media coordinator, and “YouTube guy.” He was an early adopter of computer technology, building his own microcomputer from a kit in…