As a relationship coach, I find that one of the biggest problems for family caregivers is communication collapse, especially when talking with family members and parents who are aging, ill or dying. Seemingly simple topics, such as how to wash dishes or how to celebrate a birthday, can explode into a hot confrontation.

As an imperfect human, I often feel impatient, too. What sets me apart from my clients is that I know how to patch things up and return to peace.

What technique helps you keep your conversations authentic and relevant, but still kind? Here are things that don’t work: force, bullying, clamming up, stuffing your feelings or crying yourself to sleep.

Trained coaches lead vision exercises so clients can picture themselves in career or home situations as high-level communicators and peacekeepers. In groups and private sessions, vision therapy yields “aha moments.” Caregivers can then approach their present situation differently, boost their inner game and learn to communicate peacefully. Accountability comes from and answering uncomfortable questions, such as, “What was my tone of voice” or “How did others react to my gestures?”

The key to ending arguments is to accept imperfections and apply proven approaches and new mindsets. Rivalries don’t get resolved when the referee is frail. As mature adults, now is the time to appreciate siblings’ personalities. Family members can enjoy a sweet reunion during a loved one’s transition when they put aside the hot and spicy behaviors of their teenage years.


808-372-3478  |