In American society, we are often anxious and afraid to look directly at death and accept it as a mysterious, important and integral aspect of our living. So, we ignore death and do not explore, discuss and plan for our end-of-life care.
We are too often unprepared when the time comes and we are told we have a serious progressive illness. We may not have prepared our loved ones for the time when we can no longer make decisions on our own, leaving them anxious without knowing what we want during our end-of-life journey. Because we are unprepared, we are overwhelmed with strong feelings, including fear and anxiety bringing negative thoughts, concerns and questions flooding into our life. What now?
With assistance and honest discussions with loved ones before a health crisis occurs, plans can be created and shared, which can reduce fears and can become the catalyst for healing of long-held pain from wounds which we have been carrying within.
This healing is the process of becoming whole and balanced, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, discovering life’s meaning, allowing the emergence of our genuine, authentic selves. In most situations with the right care, physical pain can be treated and made manageable.
Why not plan for this ahead of time, before we are told we are dying? Part of this process of healing is clearing up relationships through honest dialogue. Granting forgiveness and asking for forgiveness can help to set things right, releasing long-held pain. Who might you need to do this with?
Telling others “thank you” and expressing your gratitude for their role in your life provides meaningful affirmation for both you and them. Who do you need to thank?
Exploring resources and developing your support community can help you to answer the question, “Who will take care of me and my affairs?”
Sharing love is healing. Who do you love? Have you told them so lately? Is there someone you love, but haven’t told them?
It’s about talking to your loved ones about what you or they want for end-of-life care. Honest conversations with loved ones about what you would like to have happen at the end of your life help you to self-reflect on what is important and will let loved ones know your wishes. These conversations can happen at any time — even if you are not seriously ill.
Use the information below to learn about starting “the conversation,” advance care planning and resources to bring peace at the end of life.
BEREAVEMENT NETWORK OF HAWAI‘I
Facilitated by KŌKUA MAU (nonprofit)
808-585-9977 | kokuamau.org
kokuamau.org/wp-content/uploads/Your-Conversation-
Starter-Guide.pdf
Leave a Reply