Category: Living Life

Keeping Siblings Civil During Stressful Times

Even the most solid sibling dynamic can erupt into arguments when it comes to the health and welfare of beloved parents who are beginning to show signs of frailty.

You: “Hey. Mom and Dad fell twice; why don’t we hire a helper each day?”

Your sister: “Nah, they’re OK — you’re hyper.”

Your brother: “The doctor says they are fine. So what — you’re our expert now?”

You: “DAD WAS ON THE FLOOR FOR AN HOUR!

Mom couldn’t find her cell phone to call us! Me hyper? If something BAD happens, it’s your fault!”

Siblings duking it out without parental input can result in complete caregiving failure. On the other hand, wise families collaborate without meltdowns or muzzling each other.

Three Smart ABC Steps to Building a Family Dream Team

1. ATTITUDE. Switch negative thoughts into positive language and behaviors.

Tip: Perceptive families tactfully welcome and value new ideas. They are patient and kind regarding each other’s opinions and suggestions.

2. BRAINSTORMING. Tough topics require discussion: financing caregiving, selling vs. renting the family home, dividing assets, sharing caregiving responsibilities. Savvy families form judgment-free zones where everyone is protected from criticism when they voice their suggestions. They must also be understanding when their ideas are not accepted by all.

Tip: Circulate a “WHAT IF?” list to gather ideas and suggestions from everyone in order to give all time to think about them in depth rather than responding quickly with an emotional outburst.

3. COMMAND CENTRAL. Akamai families prepare ahead by finding out their parents’ wishes instead of guessing in order to carry out their desires. They prepare for financial outcomes, and have easy access to advanced directives and wills. Clarity saves time and money.

Tip: Gather documents in a binder to serve as a treasure trove of parents’ wishes and resources that everyone can refer to. This paves a smooth road ahead by avoiding unwanted potholes and excess stress at an already stressful time.

ANNETTE PANG
Family Caregiver Coach and Life Transition Advisor
808-372-3478 | ap@annettepang.com
Annette Pang offers workshops, online training and one-to-one private life coaching. She has owned two adult residential care homes since 2000. She adores her four siblings and her husband’s four siblings—all smart and kind.

Even the most solid sibling dynamic can erupt into arguments when it comes to the health and welfare of beloved parents who are beginning to show signs of frailty.
Helpful Hints for Organizing Your Space

Organizing and de-cluttering your home can be daunting. Conflicting emotions are sure to arise, so first, prepare yourself mentally. When you sense these feelings bubbling up, remind yourself that this is normal. Start thinking about enlisting a support team: a trusted family member, friend or professional to help you step by step through the process. Here are some initial helpful hints:

◆ Clear Pathways. Cluttered or disorganized floor spaces or stairs are major safety concerns. De-clutter walkways first so you can ensure ease of movement throughout your home.

◆ Use Clear Containers. Clear containers allow you to easily see what’s stored where. In the kitchen, OXO Pop containers designed for people with arthritis open easily and seal in freshness.

◆ Maximize Vertical Space. Over-the-door storage racks and wall hooks help turn an ordinary wall or door into efficient storage space. These items are particularly useful if you’ve already downsized to a smaller space and are still needing homes for some of your belongings.

◆ Optimize Closet Organization. An organized closet makes getting dressed much easier. Organize your pantry for more effective meal preparation. The freedomRail® closet system provides a sturdy, flexible and economical solution to pantry, closet and storage area organization.

ALOHA ORGANIZERS
4348 Waialae Ave., Ste. 939, Honolulu, HI 96816
808-347-7480

Organizing and de-cluttering your home can be daunting. Conflicting emotions are sure to arise, so first, prepare yourself mentally. When you sense these feelings bubbling up, remind yourself that this is normal. Start thinking about enlisting a support team: a trusted family member, friend or professional to help you step by step through the process.
Shopping for the Best Online Shipping

Seniors with family and friends on the mainland know what high shipping costs can do to a budget. Hawai‘i small business owners hurt even more. They pay to ship in supplies and inventory, and high shipping costs prevent them from competing with big box stores and online retailers.
Supporting our local economy keeps our neighborhood stores open. But families and seniors on fixed incomes are forced to look for the lowest prices, so here are some tips when looking for the best shipping costs.

If you can’t find what you need locally, visit webstores that will ship via the United States Postal Service. USPS is our fairest, lowest cost shipper. Retailers who really want our Hawai‘i business may also offer UPS standard air, which runs a bit higher and takes at least as long to get here. However, UPS also offers retailers an economy service that only ships to “48 contiguous states.” So, search for shipping options before your browse a site to avoid disappointment at checkout.

SHIPPING TIPS
■ Rule No.1: “Free shipping” never applies to Hawai‘i. Even Amazon.com Prime charges a membership fee and then still adds a shipping premium to many “free shipping” items.
■ Avoid “UPS Ground” shipping to Hawai‘i. This means your goods will come via an expediter on a container ship that may take six weeks to arrive!
■ Don’t buy from online sites that require “special quotes for International shipping” after you have input your payment information. If you got there from an ad, send feedback to Google.
■ Don’t waste your time trying to buy pieces of furniture or other heavy items from mainland outlets. Shipping costs may run more than the item you want! By the way, most online furniture stores are owned by Wayfair, whose shipping policies are unfavorable for Hawai‘i. Buy new or used furniture locally. Buy locally when you can, be smart when buying online and when you get the chance, ask our state legislators and members of Congress to support the Post Office and prevent us from getting cut off from family, friends and business on the mainland.

HONU MEDIA, LLC
Freelance Writing Services
Katherine Kama‘ema‘e Smith
808-268-0787

Seniors with family and friends on the mainland know what high shipping costs can do to a budget. Hawai‘i small business owners hurt even more. They pay to ship in supplies and inventory, and high shipping costs prevent them from competing with big box stores and online retailers.
Mellow Friends

Mellow Friends, a group of karaoke enthusiasts, visited 11 senior centers and assisted living facilities starting in 2011. Melvin Watarai, the founder of this volunteer ensemble, had the karaoke equipment and a format for the singers to perform solo songs, duets and group sing-alongs with the seniors. Three years ago, Gary Shimabukuro took the helm, adding more equipment and four more locations, increasing their total number of monthly visits to 15.

(L–R, sitting) Simon Sanidad, Mel Watarai, Gary Shimabukuro, Al Sakihara, (standing) Roy Hamasaki, Woody Batula, Mae Fujimoto, Clarence Kane, Jean Yamanaka, Jennie Wolfe, Yvonne Watarai and Florence Matsukado.

One of the locations that Mellow Friends visits is Manoa Cottage Kaimuki. Executive Director and Administrator Calvin Hara says, “The music of Mellow Friends provides comfort and local style to our residents. The songs of yesteryear reach into the residents’ memories as they reminisce and enjoy social stimulation with others.”

Mellow Friends volunteers are multi-talented seniors who dance hula and sing a variety of songs in different languages. Seniors look forward to their monthly visits to sing along loud and proud.

For the last four years at the annual Generations Senior Karaoke Contest at the Mayor’s Craft & Country Fair, Simon Sanidad and Al Sakihara have provided Gary valuable assistance.

MELLOW FRIENDS
Gary Shimabukuro | gsjx2@gmail.com

Mellow Friends, a group of karaoke enthusiasts, visited 11 senior centers and assisted living facilities starting in 2011. Melvin Watarai, the founder of this volunteer ensemble, had the karaoke equipment and a format for the singers to perform solo songs, duets and group sing-alongs with the seniors. Three years ago, Gary Shimabukuro took the helm,…
Maui Sunset Lilikoi Bars

There’s nothing better than sharing a perfect, tropical sunset with friends and family. The only thing that can enhance the experience further is sharing a favorite dessert. Here’s mine!

INGREDIENTS

Crust

1 cup butter (softened)
1/2 cup powdered sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour

Filling

1-1/4 cup white sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 cup all-purpose flour (to help set)
4 eggs (slightly beaten)
1/3 cup fresh lilikoi juice without seeds (use a citrus juicer) or packaged lilikoi juice purchased online from Amazon.com or at an island grocer in Hawai‘i

INSTRUCTIONS

Crust

Preheat the oven to 350°F/175°C. Prepare the crust using a medium bowl. Blend together all of the crust ingredients. Mix with a wooden spoon or a mixer on low until it has a crumbly texture.

Using your hands, press the uncooked crust evenly throughout an ungreased 9-by-13-inch pan.

Bake 20 minutes until firm and golden. Timing should be just about right for the lilikoi filling after the crust is baked.

Filling

In another bowl, whisk together the white sugar and all-purpose flour. Add the four slightly beaten eggs and whisk until smooth. Add in the lilikoi juice, then whisk again together.

Once the crust is baked, pour the filling over the crust and return it to the oven for an additional 20 minutes. Then remove and let it sit to cool.

The bars will firm up as they cool completely, then you may cut the bars. (Optional: sprinkle 1-1/2 tablespoons of powdered sugar on top before cutting.)

Serve loosely on a platter and enjoy.

Serves: 30 2-by-2-inch bars

Total time: approximately 55 minutes

There’s nothing better than sharing a perfect, tropical sunset with friends and family. The only thing that can enhance the experience further is sharing a favorite dessert. Here’s mine for Maui Sunset Lilikoi Bars.
Everyone Needs a Medical Organizer

The year 2006 was a difficult time for Sandi Yorong and her family. Her father started the year undergoing treatment for low-grade prostate cancer. The mild radiation treatment made him tired, but there were no other complications. By mid-year, however, he began experiencing upper back pain. In November, he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Sandi’s father passed away in January 2007.

Sandi spent many days going back and forth to the hospital with her mother while her father received care. She juggled work demands, and coordinated information between doctors and nurses, while updating her siblings and relatives.

After customizing her own medical organizer to manage doctor updates, prescriptions, health changes, legal documents and other health-related information for her father, Sandi realized she had developed a very useful tool to communicate and coordinate with family, friends and health professionals — even when she was unavailable.

Several months later, a friend encouraged Sandi to write a book to share her experiences and her process of creating a medical organizer. She soon published Lifetime Medical Organizer: A Matter of Life and Health. Although Sandi already knew how effective it was for her family, she had an opportunity to test her concept. Her friend created an organizer following the process in Sandi’s book when her own mother needed full-time caregiving. Her friend found that the organizer served as a bridge of communication for her 10 siblings living in various parts of the country who wanted updates about their mom’s health.

After reading the book, Sandi’s doctor said he wished more families would apply the concept of a medical organizer.

“My doctor thought it was a great idea for patients, especially when they occasionally bring different family members to accompany them,” Sandi explained. “He said it would create more consistent conversations when loved ones are up to date before the appointment.”

Always the problem solver, Sandi still enjoys finding practical solutions. It doesn’t hurt that Sandi is a financial advisor with more than 24 years of experience. Helping clients find answers has become part of her DNA.

Although health information is now available electronically, Sandi believes that creating a customized medical organizer is still valuable for caregivers and loved ones in order to combine online records with other essential documents.

Yorong’s book is available at www.Amazon.com or email her at sandiyorong@gmail.com to order a personalized copy. Receive a discount when you mention Generations Magazine.

SANDI YORONG is a financial advisor at Pacific Wealth Planning Group with more than 24 years of experience helping people with retirement planning. Find her on LinkedIn or Facebook, or call 808-792-5935.

The year 2006 was a difficult time for Sandi Yorong and her family. Her father started the year undergoing treatment for low-grade prostate cancer. The mild radiation treatment made him tired, but there were no other complications. By mid-year, however, he began experiencing upper back pain. In November, he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.
Dust to Dust: Leaving a Clean Legacy

In Hawai‘i, we’ve developed a rich social discourse around issues of sustainability impacting our communities and environment during our lifetimes. The ever-increasing level of consciousness regarding single-use plastics, reusable bags, clean energy and more is an encouraging sign. But what about the eco-impact of our decisions about end-of-life space? Each year in Hawai‘i, we bury an average of 3,400 imported caskets constructed from non-biodegradable materials such as metal, polyester, lacquer, caustic glue, rubber and formaldehyde. We additionally inter hundreds of gallons of hyper-toxic embalming fluid. These are materials we would never bury on any other day of the year in our backyards. So how have we arrived at a place where our lifestyle choices for the environment look markedly different from our end-of-life choices?

This casket was made from 100 percent locally reclaimed monkeypod wood.

We live in a society where conversations about mortality are largely uncomfortable, disintegrated and oftentimes taboo. The unintended consequence is that the eco-implications of our very impactful choices in this space are also not discussed. When we don’t engage, we’re not able to make fully informed decisions and instead, fall back on what is traditionally offered. Funeral homes typically provide a standard catalog with dozens of casket options — very few of which are biodegradable. Given these items are intended to be buried in our beloved land, they should, at a minimum, be able to return to the earth.

The wonderful news is the Federal Trade Commission has established the Funeral Rule, a comprehensive set of rights and protections we all enjoy as consumers in the death space. It includes, among many other privileges, the ability to purchase a casket from any source, regardless of where you’re buried or cremated. This allows families time for an unmediated, online search from the comfort of home. It also affords them the opportunity to procure an environmentally conscious option in the event the funeral home does not offer one. The Funeral Rule is an empowering protection that allows us to leave a clean eco-legacy for future generations.

PĀHIKI ECO-CASKETS
808-542-7691 | aloha@pahikicaskets.com
www.pahikicaskets.com
https://www.instagram.com/pahikicaskets/?hl=en

Each year in Hawai‘i, we bury an average of 3,400 imported caskets constructed from non-biodegradable materials such as metal, polyester, lacquer, caustic glue, rubber and formaldehyde. We additionally inter hundreds of gallons of hyper-toxic embalming fluid. These are materials we would never bury on any other day of the year in our backyards. So how…
Create a Legacy With Your Real Estate

One of the biggest decisions we face as we age is what to do with our most valuable asset — our real estate. Our home is a precious place of comfort… well, most of the time. But perhaps a flight of stairs is becoming a struggle to climb. Maybe the house is now just too big to maintain. Where to go when it’s time to downsize is a question select real estate professionals can answer. These specialists can help you navigate your living options and help with the transition.

Another big challenge is what to do with your investment property — such as a rental that has become a burden. Experienced realtors can conduct an Asset Performance Test to see how valuable your property is performing. Is your rental generating the most Net Operating Income? If you don’t need extra income but you want to keep the real estate in the family, there are ways to transfer property to your heirs while you are still living. Building wealth through real estate is the way most “akamai” families create generational wealth. If you want a better life for you and your family, now is the time to create a legacy.

The Ihara Team
1347 Kapiolani Blvd 3rd floor
Honolulu, HI 96814
(808) 518-2310
Iharateam.com

One of the biggest decisions we face as we age is what to do with our most valuable asset — our real estate. Our home is a precious place of comfort… well, most of the time. But perhaps a flight of stairs is becoming a struggle to climb. Maybe the house is now just too…
Send Love to Caregivers Who Give Love

Looking for a simple, non-digital way to connect with family caregivers who take care of older adults? Send them an appreciation card to acknowledge their dedication and compassionate work.

Family caregivers devote their time and energy to provide care and to ensure quality of life for their aging loved ones. Family caregivers play a vital role in healthy aging.

With all the duties involved, family caregiving can be socially isolating, emotionally stressful, physically exhausting, mentally frustrating and financially challenging. Over time, the strain and stress of caregiving can negatively impact a caregiver’s health, according to the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP. To ensure our loved ones age successfully, we should also focus on the well-being of their caregivers. Their emotional and mental health are critical in performing caregiving tasks. It’s also important to reach out to family caregivers so they do not feel alone.

Family caregivers give love and should receive love, too. A greeting card that acknowledges family caregivers for their important role, recognizes their devotion, honors their work, expresses gratitude and celebrates caregiving can go a long way to shine a bright light on a deserving longtime or new caregiver.

SENIOR SHOWER PROJECT
415-529-5659 | info@seniorshowerproject.com
www.seniorshowerproject.com

Family caregivers give love and should receive love, too. A greeting card that acknowledges family caregivers for their important role, recognizes their devotion, honors their work, expresses gratitude and celebrates caregiving can go a long way to shine a bright light on a deserving longtime or new caregiver.
Dine Out or Order In Tasty, Healthy Meals

Today, innovation is changing our way of life for the better. Technology evolves to eliminate painstaking tasks and make our lives easier. Improving methods also applies to the food business, where the combination of technology and innovation enables hungry islanders to obtain their favorite meals from local restaurants with delivery to their doorsteps within minutes of ordering. We can choose snacks, meal plates or fine dining from the comfort of our home using our smartphone or laptop.

Companies involved in meal plans and food preparation services are personalizing menu items according to customers’ needs. New and improved cooking methods and recipes help chefs to retain great flavor while they provide the customers the healthiest possible meals. Freshly prepared foods do not require preservatives or MSG to boost flavor. Most restaurants have abandoned their use.

Some clients may want to consume less carbohydrates, so the meal company cuts out carbs from the meal item, and adds more proteins and vegetables instead. Seniors controlling their cholesterol need low-fat meals, which restaurants and food services are able to offer.

Cuisines from across the world have their own unique flavor profiles. One that rises to the top of the “big flavor” category is Thai food. Chefs incorporate robust herbs and spices, citrus, and “salt and sweet” Thai flavors with the best fresh ingredients so seniors and their families can enjoy healthy, delicious food without consuming excessive calories.

There is a lot more to be gained by eating 500-calorie, taste bud-satisfying veggie and protein dishes, than meals loaded with fat and bland starches. So for a better life, make healthy choices, whether you step out or order in.

ME MYSELF ’N THAI RESTAURANT AND MEAL PLAN
1336 Dillingham Blvd., Honolulu, HI 96817
Mon–Sun, 9am – 4pm | 808-693-5131
Nont Panayanggool
n.panayanggool22@gmail.com | www.memyselfnthai.com

Today, innovation is changing our way of life for the better. Technology evolves to eliminate painstaking tasks and make our lives easier. Improving methods also applies to the food business, where the combination of technology and innovation enables hungry islanders to obtain their favorite meals from local restaurants with delivery to their doorsteps within minutes…
Mom’s Date Cake – A 1945 Holiday Treat

This satisfyingly sweet and moist cake makes up in 10 minutes and a small piece turns morning coffee or afternoon tea into a special occasion. At my home, the women sat down for tea before starting to cook the evening meal or when “the people” came to visit. Funny how a sweet treat triggers fond memories.

Ingredients:

Cake:
1 cup (packed) pitted dates (cut in quarters)
1 tsp. baking soda
2 Tbsp. cubed butter
1 cup boiling water
1 egg
2/3 cup sugar
1-1/2 cup flour
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 tsp. salt

Icing:
1 cup confectioner’s sugar
2 Tbsp milk or cream
Dash vanilla
Pinch salt
1/2 cup+ walnuts (chopped)

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Prepare a square 9-by-9 baking pan. Spray cooking oil on the inside.

Cake:
In a medium bowl, beat all the cake ingredients into a smooth, thin batter, either using an electric beater or by hand.

Then pour into the prepared pan, place it on the middle rack of your oven and bake for 25 minutes, until brown. Remove and let it sit to cool.

Icing:
In a small bowl, beat the ingredients to a smooth consistency. Then spread evenly on top of the cooled cake. Evenly sprinkle chopped walnuts over the icing — add more walnuts if desired.

Serves: 9–16 | Total time: 35 minutes

If you’d like to share, Generations Magazine would love to list your favorite recipe and story behind it. For review, please send your story and recipe to: Generations Food & Story 1414 Dillingham Blvd., Ste. 201, Honolulu, HI 96817

This satisfyingly sweet and moist cake makes up in 10 minutes and a small piece turns morning coffee or afternoon tea into a special occasion. At my home, the women sat down for tea before starting to cook the evening meal or when “the people” came to visit. Funny how a sweet treat triggers fond…
Understanding Whole-Body Donation

Choosing end-of-life arrangements can be one of those tough decisions as a senior. However, these are very important decisions to make. With so many options available, how can anyone decide what the most cost-effective and responsible way to proceed would be? According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the trend of having an expensive burial is on the decline (down 16 percent since 2005). Cremation rates, however, are on the rise nationally (55 percent) and locally (75 percent). In recent years, a new option has become available — whole-body donation in which you donate your body to science.

You may have heard someone say they want to donate their body to science after they pass. Many people are interested for a variety of reasons, including philanthropic, wanting to give back, covering the cost of cremation or aiding in education, research and the development of new medical interventions.

According to Associated Press reports, whole-body donation is becoming a more popular option. However, in Hawai‘i, information about the process and its benefits are not well understood. For example, did you know that the decision to donate your body to science can be made in advance or can be made by a family member after one’s passing? And, you can pledge to be both an organ donor and a whole-body donor.

The decision to donate your body to science is an extremely important one and it is an opportunity to make a difference in your community.

One benefit of whole-body donation is that the cost of cremation is covered, but the benefits go far beyond just cost savings.Whole-body donor tissues are used by universities, orthopedic device developers, researchers and hospitals all over the world in order to aid in the advancement of medicine and treatment. Surgeons use donated tissue in order to learn new surgical techniques, for example. A single donor has the potential to help thousands of people all over the world.

Whole-body donation organizations are a fairly new development. Until recently, there were no alternate options in Hawai‘i until now, through Ke Ola ‘Uhane (pledges can be made on its website).

This is an important and needed service for residents of Hawai‘i, since it will directly benefit research and medical education in the state.

What is the impact of my donation?

Beyond education and research, there are also significant benefits for medical innovation. For example, Zion Harvey is the first child in the world to receive a double hand transplant. At age 2, Zion’s hands and feet were surgically amputated due to an infection. Due in part to whole-body donor organizations, Zion was able to undergo a life-changing 10-hour surgery at just 8 years old. One year later, he is able to write his name and grip a baseball bat.

KE OLA ‘UHANE (501(c) 3 nonprofit)
905 Kalanianaole Hwy., #4504, Kailua, HI 96734
808-391-6041 | F: 808-261-0245
www.keolauhane.org

Choosing end-of-life arrangements can be one of those tough decisions as a senior. However, these are very important decisions to make. With so many options available, how can anyone decide what the most cost-effective and responsible way to proceed would be? According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the trend of having an expensive burial…