Mention posture and everyone sits or stands straighter. But are you truly aligned? Most people have some type of asymmetry and don’t even know it. It’s impossible to correct an imbalance you aren’t aware of.
Properly aligned spine and joints, and functionally balanced muscles allow your body to move with optimum efficiency and minimize the risk of injury or permanent structural damage. Achieving this state requires self-awareness.
How do you find your neutral? Start by standing in front of a mirror. Check if your shoulders are the same height. Are your thumbs pointing towards the mirror or do you see the backs of your hands? Is one hip higher than the other? Are your knees and ankles straight, or caving in or bowing out? Are you leaning forward or backward? Do
you lock your knees?
Close your eyes, move around and realign yourself. Open your eyes. If you’re still crooked, keep trying with your eyes shut until you have achieved proper alignment.
Awareness is just the first step; next is exercise — stretching tight muscles and strengthening postural muscles to keep you aligned. Repetition is the key to developing habits that lead to improved balance, function and health.
Mention posture and everyone sits or stands straighter. But are you truly aligned? Most people have some type of asymmetry and don’t even know it. It’s impossible to correct an imbalance you aren’t aware of. Properly aligned spine and joints, and functionally balanced muscles allow your body to move with optimum efficiency and minimize the…
Your oral health directly impacts your overall health, which is why seeing a dentist is just as important as seeing your primary care physician. Your dentist can determine if you will come across issues such as gum disease, which may impact your quality of life and even raise your risk for systemic disease in your later years.
Gum disease, or periodontal disease, is an inflammation of the gums due to plaque and bacteria buildup. When plaque isn’t removed, it hardens into tartar and produces toxins that break down the gum tissue, causing them to pull away from your teeth and form pockets that fill with bacteria. Without a solid routine that includes brushing twice a day, flossing daily and visiting a dentist for an exam and cleaning twice annually, this condition can increase your risk for heart disease, diabetes and Alzheimer’s disease.
Studies show those who develop gum disease early in life are four times more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease or dementia. The type of bacteria that cause gum disease can destroy brain neurons, a hallmark feature of Alzheimer’s. Your dentist can help target gum disease and may increase your cleanings throughout the year to prevent plaque and bacteria buildup, lowering your risk of disease.
Find a dentist near you and schedule an appointment today to live well and smile more.
Your oral health directly impacts your overall health, which is why seeing a dentist is just as important as seeing your primary care physician. Your dentist can determine if you will come across issues such as gum disease, which may impact your quality of life and even raise your risk for systemic disease in your…
Change continues at each phase of life and is not always easy. That is why changes like retirement, new living arrangements, health diagnoses, and the loss of close friends or a spouse can leave kūpuna feeling vulnerable and insecure. Whether you are in a season of change or helping an older loved one navigate new circumstances, there are practical steps you can take to make change a positive process.
■ Reinforce with love. We all want our kūpuna to be safe and sound. Support and empathize with them by reassuring them that current changes are being made to benefit their wellbeing — not to take away their independence.
■ Have a plan.Adequate planning and a specific timeline give your kūpuna the opportunity to adapt to these changes at a comfortable pace. A sensible plan facilitates a much smoother transition.
■ Communication is key. Involve your kūpuna in the conversation. Explain your concerns and let them to do the same. Giving your kūpuna a platform for expressing themselves will help build a stronger foundation in order to address the need for change. Change is tough and emotions may run high. But leading with love, having a plan and being communicative will help facilitate this process.
Change continues at each phase of life and is not always easy. That is why changes like retirement, new living arrangements, health diagnoses, and the loss of close friends or a spouse can leave kūpuna feeling vulnerable and insecure. Whether you are in a season of change or helping an older loved one navigate new…
As an adult daughter, do you ever feel like a little girl when conversations with your mother end in misfires, teary rants or silence? You’re not alone — it happens this way for 43.5 percent of us. However, there’s hope. By using ASK Presetting, you can stop walking on eggshells.
ASK Presetting is a precise communication method that involves pre-framing and rehearsing questions, comments, words and tones to avoid emotional collateral damage. When presetting tough topics with your mother, for example, appeal to her sweet side; don’t make her feel wrong.
Using this method, you can head off hurtful words in as little as seven minutes and stop feeling verbally attacked. Start by sprinkling your conversations with these two-word phrases: “I feel,” “I’m open,” “I’m confused,” and “Tell me more,” when your mother’s (or father’s and siblings’) words cause anxiety.
If you’re discussing tough and tender topics, but she keeps pinpointing your mistakes, you can calmly express yourself using this method without squabbling. And you won’t require years of therapy, either. Instead, you’ll be communicated with her respectfully and with love.
ANNETTE PANG-LIFE COACH VILLAGE, LLC
2383 Beckwith St., Honolulu, HI 96822
808-372-3478 | ap@annettepang.com
www.annettepang.com
As an adult daughter, do you ever feel like a little girl when conversations with your mother end in misfires, teary rants or silence? You’re not alone — it happens this way for 43.5 percent of us. However, there’s hope. By using ASK Presetting, you can stop walking on eggshells.
The Hawaii Pacific Gerontological Society will honor Emmet White at its virtual fundraiser on Nov. 4. His service and dedication to so many families, and his professional career serving kūpuna through the Arcadia Family of Companies, Hawaii Long Term Care Association, Hawaii Healthcare Association and the Central Union Church are legendary.
After 23 years of service, Emmet retired as president and CEO from Arcadia. He chaired the Hawaii Long Term Care Association, now reunited with the Healthcare Association of Hawaii, and also served on the State Health Coordinating Council for the State Health, Planning & Development Agency. Emmet was also a member of the Oahu Workforce Development Board.
A retired Army Reserve colonel, Emmet served as an ombudsman for the Department of Defense Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve Program. Prior to joining Arcadia, Emmet practiced law in Honolulu for 23 years and was appointed to the Court Annexed Arbitration Program in its early years. During that time he also served Central Union Church as moderator, trustee and deacon, as a member of the church’s Arcadia Committee, and then as a member and chair of Arcadia’s governing board.
HAWAII PACIFIC GERONTOLOGICAL SOCIETY (501(c) 3 nonprofit)
P.O. Box 3714, Honolulu, HI 96812
Sherry Goya, HPGS Executive Director 808-722-8487 | sgoyallc@aol.com www.hpgs.org
The Hawaii Pacific Gerontological Society will honor Emmet White at its virtual fundraiser on Nov. 4. His service and dedication to so many families, and his professional career serving kūpuna through the Arcadia Family of Companies, Hawaii Long Term Care Association, Hawaii Healthcare Association and the Central Union Church are legendary.
For the past 20-plus years at midnight on the 23rd of December, a gathering of veterans has taken place near the Capitol, by the memorial for our Korean and Vietnam brethren. The group includes men and women who have served in various campaigns. It is a big crowd.
There is usually some coffee, water and a snack or two. Mostly, it is a gathering to check in and renew “welcome home” greetings. It is also a time to notice who is not in attendance.
Our voices are softer and our hearing isn’t quite 100 percent, so the words of those leading prayers or the roll call of our missing companions becomes more personal as we lean in and turn up hearing aids.
Our midnight gathering leads into the 24th of December in Hawai‘i and Christmas Day in Vietnam.
Many recall our Christmas in Vietnam — where we were, who we were with, whether the cease fire remained intact that day and what was for dinner (hot chow, and if Santa was generous, one or two bottles of beer).
COVID-19 had us cancel the 2020 event. Sadly, four of us will not be at the 2021 celebration. Please join us in remembrance on Dec. 23 at midnight at the Hawai‘i State Capitol Korea-Vietnam Veterans Memorial.
For the past 20-plus years at midnight on the 23rd of December, a gathering of veterans has taken place near the Capitol, by the memorial for our Korean and Vietnam brethren. The group includes men and women who have served in various campaigns. It is a big crowd.
Interview: Annette Pang, Life Coach and Founder, Caring Manoa Licensed Adult Residential Care Homes
What does a life coach do? A life coach helps clients to reach their personal and business goals by guiding them through self-doubt. Coaching can provide methods for self-education and transformation. It’s thrilling to see their “aha” moments and confidence after taking committed and measured action. Some focus on family relationships.
When’s the best time to contact a life coach? The sooner the better. A coach can provides tips, skills and shortcuts so a client is prepared ahead of time, before challenges come up. For example, the best time to learn how to swim is before you dive in, not while you are drowning in choppy waves. By lessening worries, anxiety and sleepless nights, you’ll feel more calm and capable.
What advice do you have for children dealing with aging parents? Children must remember that their parents may feel crushed when their bodies change. Kindly forgive them for whatever they may say or do. Don’t react in defense. Watch them soften when you speak to them with love.
What advice would you give to aging parents who have children as caregivers? Allow your children to blossom into their new caregiver roles. Instead of being demanding, be gracious as they learn how to feed or bathe you. As you love them unconditionally, welcome their best efforts and thank them with your smiles. Your children only want to honor and help you with their own particular ways and personalities.
What is the best way to communicate with seniors who may be causing stress? Everyone has a sweet spot, but it can be soured by communication that uses hurtful words. ASK Presetting is a communication method that helps you talk openly, without walking on eggshells. It preserves the peace and calms the nerves. ASK Presetting is a precise communication method that involves pre-framing and rehearsing questions, comments, words and tones to avoid emotional discord. When presetting tough topics with your parents, for example, appeal to their sweet side; don’t focus on right or wrong. Aim to walk in his or her shoes to understand their thoughts and feelings rather than force-feeding your ideas. You will feel wonderful when you open your heart and be more collaborative.
As individuals age, they may review their regrets. What’s the best way to deal with those? Cemetery headstones are wet with tears from sons and daughters who did not have good relationships with their parents. So it is important to say what needs to be said while parents are still able to hear and understand your words. For seniors, highlighting the bright spots in their lives will liberate and shift their would-be remorse into self-compassion and empathy. Why not focus on the good times and accomplishments, since the past cannot be changed?
What important advice would you give young adults about their future? Unsettled feelings that aren’t addressed can lead to splintered families: siblings stop speaking, parents and children become estranged, and marriages end in divorce. Communication is the key. To reverse this spiral, keep the porch light on by presetting words before conversations misfire. This simple and reliable communication strategy can mend rifts, and bring you tremendous joy and euphoria that can save your family.
What does a life coach do? A life coach helps clients to reach their personal and business goals by guiding them through self-doubt. Coaching can provide methods for self-education and transformation. It’s thrilling to see their “aha” moments and confidence after taking committed and measured action. Some focus on family relationships.
In Hawai‘i, any occasion can be made more special by the giving of a lei. Whether it’s for love, a celebration or to honor someone, you can choose the one that symbolizes the sentiment you want to convey or select the one that suits your taste. All represent the rich heritage of the lei.
Lei Day, May 1, is dedicated to the Hawaiian tradition of making and giving lei. But some may not know the the tradition entails much more than the officially dedicated day. The traditions that surround lei make them appropriate for many occasions. Hawaiian tradition also offers particular lei for celebrations and seasonal events.
Giving a lei symbolizes friendship, love, respect and honor. It is a gift for greeting someone warmly. It represents the spirit of aloha. Its beauty and meaning flow from the heart of the giver.
A Hawaiian Tradition
The tradition of adorning themselves with wreaths of local vines and flowers to honor their gods came to Hawai‘i with the Polynesians who settled here long ago. They brought with them many of the plants they needed for daily life — plants for medicinal use, plants for food and plants that they brought for their sweet scent for use as a personal embellishment.
In their new island home, lei came to signify royalty, rank, status and wealth. The geography of the area, the religion of its people and the tradition of the hula were all associated with the lei they wore. As time passed, they developed their own unique culture and traditions.
The new Native Hawaiians found many other items, including hala and maile, that could be fashioned into adornments. In Old Hawai‘i, lei were created with the lush flowers, vines and leaf stems of every kind from every island — even seaweed from the rich Hawaiian waters. Lei were also made with ivory, bone, seeds, kukui nuts, hair, teeth, shells and feathers.
The pupu lei was made from shells and the hulu manu lei was made from feathers. Niho palaoa lei were made of the bones of the walrus and whale held together by human hair, which were passed down through generations.
Other plants and materials were introduced later, such as the carnation, orchid and plumeria.
Kapono Kamaunu learned about Hawaiian culture, hula, chanting and more from Kumu Hula Keli‘i Tau‘ā.
Lei and Hula
What Kapono Kamaunu knows about lei and Hawaiian culture, he didn’t learn growing up. He was raised on O‘ahu, where his childhood activities and interests mostly revolved around Waikīkī Beach and sports. When he moved to Maui in 1993, he met Kumu Hula Keli‘i Tau‘ā, a teacher at Baldwin High School. As a freshman, he not only learned about hula and chanting, but other aspects of the Hawaiian culture, as well.
Kapono and his wife, Priscilla, became kumu hula 10 years later, offering training for hālau hula on Zoom since the pandemic began. They own and run a home-based hula implement-making business called “Na Kani O Hula.” Kapono works as a cultural advisor at the Fairmont Kealani and performs at the Old Lāhainā Lū‘au, as well.
“Through hula, we learned about lei-making, Hawaiian history and culture,” he says.
In Old Hawai‘i, the major types of lei were each related to different spirits and used for different reasons. Many were related to Hawaiian myths and religious customs, Kapono says.
“It goes back to hula,” says Kapono. “For most of the year, the lives of the Hawaiian people were strictly governed by a set of laws called ‘kapu.’ Everything they did was directed by these kapu, including hula. But during the Makahiki season (October or November through February or March), the ancient Hawaiian New Year festival in honor of Lono, many kapu were suspended. This time of year, kane (men) were allowed to perform hula on heiau, traditional religious temples. Makahiki was a time of peace, gathering and hula performances without restriction. For ceremonial purposes, hula dancers would wear lei.”
Kapono and his wife Priscilla own and run a home-based hula implement-making business.
Traditionally, hula dancers wear specific lei to reflect the dance they are performing, especially in a competition setting. Dancers tie in the story — the chant or mo‘ōlelo — its setting and the flowers, ferns and other materials found in the location relevant to the story, says Kapono.
“In hula, we say kinolau — the divine is everywhere, and everything is the divine. It is the physical embodiment of the many Hawaiian gods and goddesses.”
“After asking permission from Laka first, hula dancers would gather ferns, such as palapalai, laua‘e ferns and maile, for their adornments in ceremonial performances and other practices as well,” says Kapono. “The gathered vines, leaves or flowers were placed on the kuahu hula (hula altar) dedicated to Laka.”
“Whatever is in the song, we aim for the closest possible representation.”
“For example, Pele and her sister Hi‘iaka are represented by the red flowers of the ‘ohi‘a lehua brought to the islands by the Polynesians settlers. So when you do a dance about Pele, you would wear a haku (braided) lei or a lei po‘o made of ‘ohi‘a lehua, as well as a lei a‘i (a neck lei).”
For centuries, lei made from the fragrant leaves of maile have been used to communicate love, respect, blessing, enduring devotion, reverence, friendship and a desire for peace.
Traditional Meanings and Uses of Lei
One of the most popular of all the lei varieties was the maile lei, made from a leaf-covered vine with a sweet and spicy scent. This vine was worn around the neck, draping freely down to the waist. The maile lei was related to the spirit of the hula dance and represented Laka, the goddess of hula, as well as other sacred spirits.
For chieftains and members of royalty, the ilima was preferred. The full, lush lei was made from hundreds of delicate orange blossoms.
The ti plant has a long tradition of being planted outside homes to keep evil spirits away. Ti stalks were used to proclaim peace and to call a truce. A lei was made by tying ti leaves together. The open lei was worn by physicians and priests.
Limu kala, a type of seaweed, was gathered and used in many different ways — for religious purposes, as medicine, for consumption or as a lei. Traditionally, limu kala was gathering, fashioned into a lei and worn by a person suffering from an illness. The ill person or a kahuna would then pray to Kanaloa. When prayers were completed, the wearer of the lei would fully immerse him or herself in the ocean. In time, the lei would be swept into the sea as an offering to Kanaloa, in hopes of cleansing the wearer of the aliment.
Lei Traditions of Yesterday and Today
By fusing their island lifestyle with their sacred rituals and the natural elements around them, Hawaiians created lei that began to be worn for virtually every occasion by both commoners (maka‘ainānā) and chiefs (ali‘i) alike.
A lei po‘o is any lei that is worn around the head. What is often referred to as a haku lei is actually a lei po‘o crafted in the haku style.
“Today, lei are used for an array of occasions and it is widely accepted throughout Hawai‘i Nei that any type of lei can be worn by anyone and everyone,” says Kapono. “One thing that hasn’t changed is that the giving of a lei symbolizes giving your mana to someone else.”
Mana is a supernatural force that may be ascribed to persons, spirits or inanimate objects. It may be good or evil; beneficial or dangerous.
“When we are making lei, we want to ensure that we are putting the best of our spiritual energy into the lei,” says Kapono, “so when we give it to someone, we are giving them good energy, connection and love. Lei are the quintessential symbol
of love; of aloha.”
The type of flower made into a lei and gifted to a loved one has more to do with personal preference and seasonal availability than symbolism, says Kapono.
Although the lei of today are much like those worn in Old Hawai‘i when the first Polynesians settled the islands, their meaning and presentation has changed over the years.
Lei in Old Hawai‘i symbolized the status of the wearer and were presented by bowing and holding out the lei for the recipient to take.
“Traditionally, it was disrespectful to drape a lei over a person’s head, particularly when that someone was royalty,” says Kapono. “You do not want someone to interfere with your connection to Akua by having them cut off your mana.” This presentation method gave the recipient the option of taking it and putting it on themselves, giving it away, putting it on an altar or taking it to the ocean. “Because, just as lei are made and presented with love, they can also have bad intentions.”
Adorned with a bounty of colorful lei, the regal pa‘u riders and their horses are the highlight of every parade
Around the 1840s, when Steamer Days or Boat Days began at Aloha Tower and Honolulu Harbor, visitors were greeted with armloads of lei. It may have been at this time that lei began to be placed over the heads of those arriving or departing, accompanied by a kiss on the cheek. That particular tradition came to a halt with the arrival of jet planes in the 1950s. To accommodate visitors, Daniel K. Inouye International Airport’s lei stands are located in the area.
Although most islanders believe that anyone can wear any type of lei for any occasion, Hawaiian tradition dictates the use of specific lei that are symbolic of the occasion, related to the season and dependent on the time of year the flower is in bloom. Worn at other times, it can bring the wearer bad luck.
For example, a lei made from the yellow, orange and red keys of the pineapple-like hala fruit interlaced with maile leaf or laua‘e fern can be worn at the beginning of Makahiki season, the Hawaiian New Year. Worn at this time, the hala lei invites good luck, pushes bad luck aside and prompts the wearer to forgive past grudges. However, worn at other times of the year, it can bring the wearer bad luck. The lei is associated with death and is often worn at funerals.
Although there is significant meaning associated with the giving of a lei, it is open to different interpretations by the maker, seller, giver or recipient. But it may be wise to be aware of certain traditional details.
“Some people still believe that it is inappropriate to give a pregnant woman a closed lei,” says Kapono. “An open lei may be given, as it symbolizes that the baby will be unencumbered and unharmed by the umbilical cord, ensuring it will not be tangled around its neck in the womb.”
Lei are often referenced as being created in a circle to symbolize love and the family circle. “Lei, like many of our nāmea Hawai‘i (Hawaiian arts), have grown and evolved into priceless artifacts that are shared around the world. Whether it’s an heirloom feather lei, a lei pupu that is passed down from generation to generation, or lei made from fragrant flowers and beautiful ferns, the joy of gifting and receiving a lei filled with the aloha spirit can brighten anyone’s day — even during the darkest of times.”
Ku‘ulei Ka‘ae makes and sells lei from Pua Melia, her stand near Daniel K. Inouye International Airport. Ku‘ulei’s family began selling lei four generations ago, beginning with her great-grandparents. The other women selling lei here are also descendants of the original Native Hawaiian airport lei sellers.Ku‘ulei Ka‘ae
A Family Tradition: Love From the Lei-Sellers
“That is what we have to offer in this pandemic — love. I know that when people receive lei, they feel the love we put into them,” says Ku‘ulei Ka‘ae, who makes and sells lei from her stand near Daniel K. Inouye International Airport. “I don’t think a lot of people realize what a lei can do for a person. The type of lei you give is a personal choice. Whether it is pikake, plumeria, ginger, pakalana or double tuberose, the giver must love the flower as it is a symbol and extension of their love for the recipient.”
Ku‘ulei’s family began selling lei four generations ago, beginning with her great-grandparents. They sold in different locations, such as Chinatown and Aloha Tower. Their daughter, Sophia Ventura, Ku‘ulei’s grandmother, had a 1932 Ford truck that her husband equipped with hooks for displaying the lei. She also sold lei at Fort DeRussy — the only lei seller there. She was later invited to set up shop near the access road of the then Aeronautics Aviation Airport.
Ku‘ulei was around 9 when the stands moved to Lagoon Drive in 1963. “My mother and I were the first ones to open our doors in this new building.” In the early 1990s, they were relocated to the concrete building they now occupy.
The women selling lei at this location are descendants of the original Native Hawaiian airport lei sellers. Since Ku‘ulei is the only daughter in her family, her mother gave her Pua Melia, the Airport Lei Stand she operates to this day.
“The only time I ever got a lei growing up was when my mom brought home a plumeria lei for May Day. I wondered, why a plumeria? I asked my mom why I couldn’t have a double carnation lei or pikake. She said, ‘Because the plumeria is the most beautiful flower. One day you will understand.’ The point was, when you get a lei, it is from the heart. It is aloha; it is love. When you are younger, you don’t really understand the depth and meaning.”
“Then when I was in ninth grade, she brought me a double carnation. I was so thrilled! When I went to school, I put it on. I took it off about a half-hour later and gave it to a friend because I realized it didn’t mean anything to me. It wasn’t from my mother’s heart. She only got it for me because I asked for it. Oh how I wished I had that plumeria lei — it meant the world to me! I realized what my mother was saying. The most beautiful lei comes from the heart.”
“I will wear your love as a lei,” Ku‘ulei recited in Hawaiian.”
Hawai‘i’s lei have become revered all over the world for their beauty and fragrance. “Today, many lei or hula practitioners teach the traditional art and practices of lei, continuing to strengthen our heritage through our younger generation, visitors and practitioners abroad so we can wrap a lei of peace and aloha around the entire world,” says Kapono.
Lei Day, May 1, is dedicated to the Hawaiian tradition of making and giving lei. But some may not know the the tradition entails much more than the officially dedicated day. The traditions that surround lei make them appropriate for many occasions. Hawaiian tradition also offers particular lei for celebrations and seasonal events.
The October – November 2021 issue of GM features a tradition in Hawaii that everybody loves – the making and giving of lei. The colorful and fragrant strings of flowers has a rich history and many meanings which you’ll discover. We’ll also get some tips on relationships with people with dementia, how to navigate today’s…