Category: Wisdoms

Make Plans to Win the Game of Life

The clock will wind down on all of us some day, and most of us are going to need some level of long-term care before it does.

Winning the game of life — and death — depends on having an effective plan in place before the inevitable happens.

If you do not have a will or a trust to pass your assets to your chosen receivers, not only might your estate be intercepted by the wrong team, it may also be sacked by creditors, or disgruntled family members and their lawyers.

Think of your trusted advisors as your coaches. They have playbooks filled with strategies to overcome every opponent. Think of yourself as your estate’s quarterback. If you listen to your coaches and execute the right plays, your loved ones will eventually be wearing championship rings.

Where will your loved ones be when the final gunshot sounds and the lights go out? It’s up to you. Nobody plans to fail, but too many of us fail to plan.

SCOTT MAKUAKANE, Counselor at Law
Focusing exclusively on estate planning and trust law.
www.est8planning.com
808-587-8227 | maku@est8planning.com

Winning the game of life — and death — depends on having an effective plan in place before the inevitable happens. If you do not have an advance healthcare directive, your loved ones may find themselves blindsided and sidelined at the precise moment you need them to step in and make medical decisions for you.
Alzheimer’s: Steps to Prepare Financially

If a person close to you has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, it may be time to address some serious financial questions. It is wise to get financial matters in order as soon as possible due to the debilitating nature of Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia that affect your loved one’s ability to make sound decisions.

Here are four important steps to take:

1) Look for signs of unusual financial activity

Discrepancies involving money can often be among the early signs of cognitive challenges for an individual. Red flags may include difficulty paying a proper amount for an item, leaving bills unpaid or making out-of-the-ordinary purchases. If you observe signs of a loss in judgment related to financial matters, additional action may be required.

2) Identify and designate a power of attorney

Many people are reluctant to hand over control of their personal finances. It’s important to have an honest discussion with your loved one and help them appreciate the importance of having someone look out for their interests.

It is important to identify a trusted surrogate to help manage day-to-day money matters when that becomes necessary. The individual should be designated as the financial power-of-attorney, authorized to sign checks, pay bills and help keep an eye on the affected person’s finances. The power-of-attorney designee can ease into the role, only assuming full control when it becomes absolutely necessary as the person receiving the diagnosis loses capacity to make rational decisions.

3) Make sure proper documentation is in place

An individual needs to be considered competent to complete or update legal paperwork such as wills, trusts and other estate planning documents. This should include an advanced health care directive that will indicate the levels of care that should be provided if health deteriorates. Also check beneficiary designations on any retirement and financial accounts, as well as life insurance policies. With all relevant documentation, be sure the information and named beneficiaries are up to date and that proper processes are followed. Check with an estate planning attorney for help.

4) Assess costs of care and how it will be covered

A top priority is to determine a strategy for how your loved one will be cared for, particularly if his or her cognitive abilities should deteriorate over time. Will specialized care be required, either in the home, or in a nursing or assisted living facility? If so, are there resources or long-term care insurance policies in place to help deal with those costs? This will greatly affect any decisions regarding a care strategy. Talk to an elder law attorney about trusts that can be established to provide for care for the disabled individual while still protecting the family’s assets.

Be proactive in your approach

Waiting too long to address financial considerations after an Alzheimer’s diagnosis can exacerbate an already stressful and emotional time. Take steps to get on top of the situation as soon as you become aware of an impending problem. Keep in mind that establishing a plan for addressing these issues even before a form of dementia is firmly diagnosed also makes sense.

Consult with your financial advisor for guidance on how to manage these challenging times.

MICHAEL W. K. YEE, CFP,® CFS,® CLTC, CRPC®
1585 Kapiolani Blvd., Ste. 1100, Honolulu, HI 96814
808-952-1222, ext. 1240 | michael.w.yee@ampf.com
Michael W. K. Yee, CFP,® CFS,® CLTC, CRPC,® is a Private Wealth Advisor, Certified Financial Planner™ practitioner with Ameriprise Financial Services Inc. in Honolulu, Hawai‘i. He specializes in fee-based financial planning and asset management strategies, and has been in practice for 36 years.

Investment products are not federally or FDIC-insured, are not deposits or obligations of, or guaranteed by any financial institution, and involve investment risks including possible loss of principal and fluctuation in value. Investment advisory products and services are made available through Ameriprise Financial Services LLC., a registered investment advisor.

Ameriprise Financial Services LLC. Member FINRA and SIPC.
© 2020 Ameriprise Financial Inc. All rights reserved

If a person close to you has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, it may be time to address some serious financial questions. It is wise to get financial matters in order as soon as possible due to the debilitating nature of Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia that affect your loved one’s ability to make…
A Retirement Dress Rehearsal Can Ease Emotional & Financial Concerns

Two emotions are likely to strike those who are nearing retirement — excitement and fear. Leaving the world of alarm clocks and offices and having time to pursue your own passions on a daily basis is liberating — but the apprehension of entering a new life stage can easily creep in. Although work-related stress will disappear, the responsibility of filling each week in a satisfying way can be a challenge. Top that off with the ever-present concern about long-term financial security in retirement and the nerves can grow even greater.

The truth is, feeling excitement and fear is okay, but what if your retirement isn’t everything you envisioned it to be before you left the workforce? What if life after work turns out to be far different from your expectations?

Consider a practice run

If you’re nearing retirement, you’ve likely taken steps to prepare financially for the future. But there’s one important thing you might not have considered adding to your pre-retirement checklist — a practice run. How you choose to spend your time (and in many cases, your money) in retirement is your decision to make, but it’s not always an easy one. As we age, our interests, hobbies and relationships change. What you may consider your “ideal” retirement when you’re 55 may not fit when you’re 65. This evolution can make it hard to plan accurately for retirement.

To the extent you’ve made a financial commitment to a certain lifestyle, this can pose real problems. If you’ve already committed a significant amount of savings toward a particular lifestyle (a home in another part of the country or a trip around the world for a year), changing your mind in 10 or 15 years could throw a wrench in your long-term financial plan.

Those who have based their financial plan for retirement on the idea that they will be living in a new location may benefit from a practice run before making the big move. It’s natural to change your mind about what you want, but it’s better to understand the potential implications of changing your mind before you actually retire, as they can have unintended consequences.

For example, consider an individual who has lived his entire life in New York, but moves to Florida when he retires — where taxes and cost-of-living are generally lower. Deciding after several years to relocate back to New York to be near family — where cost of living and tax rates differ — can mean the dollars he’s saved will have to be reallocated and his savings may not go as far as he’d planned.

The idea of practicing retirement may also mean leaving the 40-hour work week for something that’s more part-time. Some people may want to take a part-time role with their current employer, or work as a consultant to continue experiencing the challenge of work. This also can offer important financial benefits that help preserve their nest egg.

Time for a financial rehearsal

Practice can also be beneficial in another way — by simulating how to manage your expenses in retirement. The idea that your cash flow no longer comes from a reliable paycheck, but from other sources, like Social Security and personal savings, can come as a shock — even to those who are well-prepared for this change. One idea to accomplish this is to run two accounts for a certain period of time. Through one account, manage all of your household and lifestyle expenses that you expect during retirement. This includes the costs for necessities like food, clothing, shelter, utilities, taxes and insurance, as well as “nice-to-have” items like dining out, traveling, etc.

Keep in mind that you may have to estimate or inflate your lifestyle expenses for retirement as they could rise when you have more free time. The best way to get a handle on these expenses is to experience them while you’re still working. Take that trip to Europe before retirement and find out firsthand what you can do within your budget. If the cost is different than expected, make adjustments to your financial projections to more accurately reflect reality.

Through the second account, manage all of your expenses that are expected to end in retirement, like principal and interest on a mortgage payment (if your home will be paid off), current car payments (although car payments can certainly happen again in retirement), college costs for your kids and contributions to retirement plans.

Perfecting life in retirement

A little practice can go a long way toward easing emotional and financial concerns when it comes to making the jump into retirement. A retirement trial run may not answer all of your questions — and it doesn’t necessarily include the unexpected events that can often throw retirement off track — but doing it for six months or so can be very beneficial in determining if your budget and lifestyle expectations during retirement are realistic. Consider working with a financial advisor who can help you determine a budget and a retirement income plan that fits your needs and desires for retirement.

MICHAEL W. K. YEE, CFP,® CFS,® CLTC, CRPC®
1585 Kapiolani Blvd., Ste. 1100, Honolulu, HI 96814
808-952-1222, ext. 1240 | michael.w.yee@ampf.com
Michael W. K. Yee, CFP,® CFS,® CLTC, CRPC,® is a Private Wealth Advisor, Certified Financial Planner™ practitioner with Ameriprise Financial Services Inc. in Honolulu, Hawai‘i. He specializes in fee-based financial planning and asset management strategies, and has been in practice for 36 years. Investment products are not federally or FDIC-insured, are not deposits or obligations of, or guaranteed by any financial institution, and involve investment risks including possible loss of principal and fluctuation in value. Investment advisory products and services are made available through Ameriprise Financial Services LLC., a registered investment advisor.
Ameriprise Financial Services LLC. Member FINRA and SIPC.
© 2020 Ameriprise Financial Inc. All rights reserved.

Two emotions are likely to strike those who are nearing retirement — excitement and fear. Leaving the world of alarm clocks and offices and having time to pursue your own passions on a daily basis is liberating — but the apprehension of entering a new life stage can easily creep in. Although work-related stress will…
Save Yourself From Sympathy Scams

In a sympathy scam, a con artist plays on the victims’ emotions in order to extract money from them. Typically, you see a lot of these scams stemming from a tragedy that is highly publicized.

The first time I saw a sympathy scam in action was when I was young. My school passed out plastic banks that looked like loaves of bread, and students were supposed to take them trick-or-treating and ask for loose change. The money was to go to starving kids in Ethiopia. Let’s just say not all of the money made it to Africa.

Recently, however, I have been seeing a variation of the sympathy scam that is not only playing on the victim’s feelings of guilt and compassion, but also giving them a belief that they will become rich as well. The scammer tells them that the more charitable they are, the more money they will make.

The con starts out by asking the victim what good works they would do if they were rich. Upon learning about these pure desires, the scammer will deem the victim worthy enough to be let into this secret and exclusive opportunity to make so much money that they can finance their charitable goals, and in fact, they themselves could become wealthy.

Victims are asked to draft a proposal that explains in detail what their charity would actually look like. Some victims have reported going to print shops and advertising agencies to create professional looking presentations. I have heard about victims designing schools for disabled children, planning hula programs for the deaf and designing free hospitals. So excited and distracted about these charitable acts that they are going to perform with their riches, the victims don’t think twice about the “investing” portion of the process and give money to seed the venture and help grow that money tree.

If the victim questions the economics of the process (like, “How does helping more people make you more rich” or “Why haven’t I gotten any money back yet?”), they are either told confusing economic mumbo jumbo and assured this is how big charities work and why celebrities support them, or are questioned about their sincerity of wanting to help others.

Guilt and compassion are the con artist’s favorite emotions. Never make financial decisions based on feelings.

If you suspect elder abuse, call these numbers:
Police: 911 | Adult Protective Services: 808-832-5115
Elder Abuse Unit: 808-768-7536
For questions, email ElderAbuse@honolulu.gov

In a sympathy scam, a con artist plays on the victims’ emotions in order to extract money from them. Typically, you see a lot of these scams stemming from a tragedy that is highly publicized.
A Recipe for Conflict

I have noticed a troubling emerging trend in estate planning. More families are owning property with different generations. This could be because real estate in Hawai‘i is expensive to purchase and even harder to maintain and keep. It is further exacerbated in situations where there are multiple children beneficiaries and/or where the parents need to leverage the equity in the home for their care, and are unable to access the equity due to a lack of income. We have seen situations where the parent gives up some or all interest in the home to their children, in fractionalized interests, so that the children can pool their resources together to qualify for a HELOC or a mortgage.

These situations are difficult to manage because of the conflicting intentions and layers of complex relationships. Parents want to preserve the home for their children; however, they also need the home for their long-term care. The children want to help their parents but have a family of their own and are also trying to plan for their own future. You can imagine problems surfacing when there are multiple owners with fractionalized interests, all with lives and families of their own. It’s a recipe for conflict, not a family legacy.

To mitigate family conflict, be proactive about your legacy and start to plan now. If you find yourself in this situation or heading in this direction, contact your estate planning attorney to ensure a lasting legacy for you and your family.

STEPHEN B. YIM, ATTORNEY AT LAW
2054 S. Beretania St., Honolulu, HI 96826
808-524-0251 | www.stephenyimestateplanning.com

I have noticed a troubling emerging trend in estate planning. More families are owning property with different generations. This could be because real estate in Hawai‘i is expensive to purchase and even harder to maintain and keep. It is further exacerbated in situations where there are multiple children beneficiaries and/or where the parents need to…
Your Estate Plan: What NOT to Do

Problems with your estate plan may not become apparent until it is too late to fix them. Here are some common pitfalls:

• Failing to plan for large expenses, such as long-term care. About 70 percent of us can expect to be completely incapacitated for some period of time before we die, so failing to have a “disability plan” in place can severely limit our options.

• Failing to update your estate plan, including beneficiary designations on bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts and insurance policies. Review your estate plan at least annually, and update it as necessary.

• Failing to take steps to avoid family strife. Making your intentions clear is the first step. Building incentives (and disincentives) into your estate plan can nix courtroom battles.

• Putting your kids on the title to your stuff during your lifetime. You may be setting your loved ones up for capital gains taxes that could have been avoided and you may also be putting your assets at risk. Your kids’ creditors (or ex-spouses) could get their hooks into your assets while you still need them.

Do your estate planning right and work with professionals. Shop around to find advisors who know what they are doing, will help you devise a workable plan and are worth their fees.

SCOTT MAKUAKANE, Counselor at Law
Focusing exclusively on estate planning and trust law.
www.est8planning.com
808-587-8227 | maku@est8planning.com

Problems with your estate plan may not become apparent until it is too late to fix them. Here are some common pitfalls: • Failing to plan for large expenses, such as long-term care. • Failing to update your estate plan, including beneficiary designations on bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts and insurance policies. • Failing…
Estate Planning: Start With ‘Why’

Trust beneficiaries are sometimes left to wonder why a decedent instructed that a trust distribution be made in a particular way.

The trust clearly identified who the beneficiaries were, what they were to receive and how they were to receive. But unfortunately, the trust was silent as to the “why” of the distribution — the underlying reason and purpose for creating the trust in the first place.

Not clearly setting forth intention or purpose in one’s estate plan can lead to misunderstanding, confusion, hurt feelings, potential law suits and disruption of family relationships.

In his book Start With Why, Simon Sinek explains it this way: The “what, when and how to do” come from our neocortex, the part of the brain that contains the language center. The intentional and emotional purpose-driven “why” comes from the limbic area of the brain, which deals with emotions and memory. That area of the brain has no capacity for language, which is why writing out the purpose, emotion and intention is difficult. Most of what we do is driven by clear intention and purpose, so it is important to put effort into writing out our intentions and purpose.

Keep in mind that your estate plan is intended to be your last say, so the “why” must be expressed as the foundation for the plan.

STEPHEN B. YIM, ATTORNEY AT LAW
2054 S. Beretania St., Honolulu, HI 96826
808-524-0251 | www.stephenyimestateplanning.com

Trust beneficiaries are sometimes left to wonder why a decedent instructed that a trust distribution be made in a particular way. The trust clearly identified who the beneficiaries were, what they were to receive and how they were to receive. But unfortunately, the trust was silent as to the “why” of the distribution — the…
Elder Abuse Reporting Deadlines

Recently, I received a call from a woman who wanted to report that her father had been the victim of theft. The culprit was her niece, who had taken over $100,000 over a three-year period. The caller had the evidence and her father now wanted to hold the niece accountable for what she had done. However, the only problem was that the crime was outside the statute of limitations.

The statute of limitations, or SOL, is a time period wherein the criminal conduct must be filed with the court. It is a time limit the victim has before the case is deemed too old. It is important to note that it doesn’t matter when the case was reported to the police — the case has to be accepted by the court within the SOL.

The length of time for the statute of limitations depends on the severity of the crime. For a misdemeanor crime (one in which the value of property or money taken is under $750 or injuries are less than broken bones), the SOL is two years. For a felony crime (over $750 taken or serious injuries sustained or a weapon used), the SOL is three years. There is no SOL for murder.

Sometimes the SOL can be extended if certain facts are present. For instance, if someone only recently discovered a theft that was made by deception, the SOL begins not when the crime was committed, but when it was discovered.

Let’s say “bad son” took $20,000 from his dad by forging checks and cashing them on Feb. 1, 2017. Dad discovers the crime on Jan. 1, 2018 (SOL begins). Father doesn’t report the crime to the police until Dec. 31, 2020. Does he make the SOL deadline? Probably not, because although the SOL ends Jan. 1, 2021, the police have only two days to investigate the crime, present it to the prosecutors and file the matter with the court. “It just ain’t gonna happen.”

There is no good reason to delay reporting elder abuse. Over time, memories fade, evidence gets lost and there can be unforeseen delays in the investigation. All this can result in missing the SOL deadline and not holding someone accountable for their bad conduct.

If you suspect elder abuse, call these numbers:
– Police: 911
– Adult Protective Services: 808-832-5115
– Elder Abuse Unit: 808-768-7536
If you have questions about elder abuse, call or email:
808-768-7536 | ElderAbuse@honolulu.gov

Recently, I received a call from a woman who wanted to report that her father had been the victim of theft. The culprit was her niece, who had taken over $100,000 over a three-year period. The caller had the evidence and her father now wanted to hold the niece accountable for what she had done.…
Passing on the Family Business

Only about 25 percent of family businesses survive 15 years or more. Only about 25 percent of those will survive the transition to the founders’ descendants. Many factors contribute to these statistics. Here are two critical factors.

1. Willing and able? Most parents want to treat their children equally when it comes to passing on the family wealth, but not all children are capable of running a business and not all children want to continue in the family business once the founding generation is gone.

2. Is the business viable? Take a sober look at your business and your descendants, and consider: Can my business be successful for another generation? Your business may have provided a brilliant solution to a need back when you founded it, but markets, technology and spending patterns have changed since then. Unless your business is nimble enough to make appropriate adjustments, it may not continue to be viable.

The continuation of your business and passing on wealth to your descendants may go hand in hand, but if none of your children are willing or able to carry on your dream, selling your business and passing on the proceeds may be the best bet.

Your trusted advisors can help you find a solution that works best for all concerned.

SCOTT MAKUAKANE, Counselor at Law
Focusing exclusively on estate planning and trust law.
www.est8planning.com
808-587-8227 | maku@est8planning.com

Only about 25 percent of family businesses survive 15 years or more. Only about 25 percent of those will survive the transition to the founders’ descendants. Many factors contribute to these statistics. Here are two critical factors.
Rules for Adult Kids Returning Home

As the COVID-19 pandemic spread across the country, parents saw a wave of adult children move back home. Pew Research recently found that 52 percent of 18- to 29-year-olds now live in a parent’s house.

Some children may have moved back simply due to safety during the virus response or because universities switched to e-learning. Others may have returned because of financial reasons.

As parents, it’s important to help your children find their footing, but you also don’t want to put your own financial security at risk. You can achieve this by setting boundaries and providing clear expectations for how you expect your child to contribute while they live under your roof.

Discuss Whether They Will Pay Rent

Will you expect them to pay rent while they are living with you? It’s important to have this discussion before they move in. Your child might assume he or she can live in your house rent-free for as long as they want. You want to ensure that everyone has the same expectations for the arrangement — before they move in.

Before they move in, have a conversation regarding what they can afford to pay and what you require from a financial standpoint, so each of you remains on the same page.

Find Other Ways They Can Contribute

It’s possible that your child needs to move back because they’ve lost his or her job. If they’re under financial hardship, then it’s understandable if you don’t want to charge them rent. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to let them sit on the couch all day watching TV, using your kitchen as their own free grocery store.

Instead, set ground rules for their stay. Are they looking for a job? Do you want free rent to be contingent on them following through with job searches? Do you want them to pitch in for food costs? Will you allow them to borrow cash?

If your adult child is not paying rent, give him or her tasks that will help save you money. Ask them to mow the lawn or paint the house in between their job searches. It will give them something to do beyond worrying about their next interview.

Set a Timeframe

While you may love having your child back at home — and they may enjoy it as well — set expectations regarding the length of his or her stay. Talk with your child about when they hope to move out. If it’s until they can afford a place to live by themselves, then also ask them what they need in order to feel comfortable enough to live on their own. Do they need a few months’ worth of paychecks first? Will they move as soon as they have a job? Are they saving for a down payment on a house?

By agreeing to a plan, you’re protecting yourself in case they are thinking about an extended stay. Plus, it will help you enjoy this time you have with your child at home.

MICHAEL W. K. YEE, CFP,® CFS,® CLTC, CRPC®
1585 Kapiolani Blvd., Ste. 1100, Honolulu, HI 96814
808-952-1222, ext. 1240 | michael.w.yee@ampf.com
Michael W. K. Yee, CFP,® CFS,® CLTC, CRPC,® is a Private Wealth Advisor, Certified Financial Planner™ practitioner with Ameriprise Financial Services Inc. in Honolulu, Hawai‘i. He specializes in fee-based financial planning and asset management strategies, and has been in practice for 36 years. Investment products are not federally or FDIC-insured, are not deposits or obligations of, or guaranteed by any financial institution, and involve investment risks including possible loss of principal and fluctuation in value. Investment advisory products and services are made available through Ameriprise Financial Services LLC., a registered investment advisor.
Ameriprise Financial Services LLC. Member FINRA and SIPC.
© 2020 Ameriprise Financial Inc. All rights reserved.

As the COVID-19 pandemic spread across the country, parents saw a wave of adult children move back home. Pew Research recently found that 52 percent of 18- to 29-year-olds now live in a parent’s house. Some children may have moved back simply due to safety during the virus response or because universities switched to e-learning.…
Trust, Talk & the Grieving Process

It’s natural to experience grief when we lose a loved one. While we often associate grief with the death of a loved one, we can also experience it when we get divorced or when ties with a friend become severed.

Everyone experiences grief differently. Some are able to move on, while others are unable to process their loss. This is referred to as “complicated grief” and occurs when an individual remains in a state of acute grief for a prolonged period. It can be so debilitating that professionals may refer to it as a disease.

During complicated grief, symptoms of loss, bitterness or detachment can cause confusion or disorganized thinking, and a whirlpool of emotions. Counseling is sometimes needed to help guide the individual back to calmer waters.

Confiding in someone you trust can be helpful in healing the pain of loss. Estate planning is all about trust and listening. Candid conversations between a grieving client and an estate attorney help the attorney understand what the client has been through.

Listening to clients speak openly provides the attorney with a solid foundation for an estate plan. A deeper understanding of the clients’ grief also makes it possible for the attorney to serve as a resource if they need help with other life challenges.

STEPHEN B. YIM, ATTORNEY AT LAW
2054 S. Beretania St., Honolulu, HI 96826
808-524-0251 | www.stephenyimestateplanning.com
Source: www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/complicated-grief/symptoms-causes/syc-20360374

It’s natural to experience grief when we lose a loved one. While we often associate grief with the death of a loved one, we can also experience it when we get divorced or when ties with a friend become severed. Everyone experiences grief differently. Some are able to move on, while others are unable to…
The Trouble With Family Secrets

When there are secrets within a family, it has been my experience that no good has ever come from them. Now, I am not talking about secrets that a family might keep from non-family members, such as, grandma is a witch and Uncle Joe has 12 toes, but secrets family members keep from each other.

I have gotten many calls over the years that typically start out saying a sibling did this or that with a parent and did not tell anyone about it. Usually the “this or that” involves a large sum of money, ownership of the house, or a change in the trust or estate plan. When the family member discovers this secret, their first reaction is to accuse the sibling of financial exploitation and call my office.

Although secrecy is often a red flag when looking for elder abuse, it alone is not evidence of wrongdoing. Although it can be a sign that a vulnerable loved one is being taken advantage of, it can also just be a signal that open communication is lacking in the family and it is felt that secrecy is needed to spare hurt feelings.

More than once has brother or sister accused each other of misdeeds because the parent wanted to keep peace in the home, and wasn’t honest with each child as to what they were actually getting. When they both have been told the house is going to them and this information is brought to light, finger-pointing and accusations ensue. These claims of wrongdoing eventually seem to come into my inbox and I get to peel away the layers of the truth onion to see why the situation smells bad to certain family members.

AARP has several aids that can help families have open and honest conversations with each other about sensitive matters, such as exploring caregiving options or the distribution of wealth upon the parent’s death. Another resource that is the Kupuna Pono Program with the Mediation Center of the Pacific. Trained mediators (like myself) have experience leading conversations among family members concerning aging issues. It’s been my experience that the only secrets that should be kept among family members are those that involve surprise parties and how your wife’s new hairstyle really looks.

If you suspect elder abuse, call these numbers:
– Police: 911
– Adult Protective Services: 808-832-5115
– Elder Abuse Unit: 808-768-7536
If you have questions about elder abuse, call or email:
808-768-7536 | ElderAbuse@honolulu.gov

When there are secrets within a family, it has been my experience that no good has ever come from them. Now, I am not talking about secrets that a family might keep from non-family members, such as, grandma is a witch and Uncle Joe has 12 toes, but secrets family members keep from each other.