The Scary Thought of Surgery

If you had told me a year ago that I would be experiencing the Granddaddy of Major Surgeries in 2024, I wouldn’t have believed you. But that’s what happened. And I was scared.

Last year, my cardiologist found a blocked artery. It was not partially blocked — which might have been fixed by a stent or a teeny-tiny Roto-Rooter — it would require major open heart surgery.

After months of tests and procedures, surgery was scheduled. Reality set in: I was not just going under the knife — I was having my chest opened up like a cheap can of tuna and a crew of scrubs-wearing spelunkers taking an expedition into my chest.

The planning began: My sister was flying in from the Mainland, I cleared my calendar and prepped frozen dinners. But these practical preparatory measures didn’t mitigate my fears. I’m a grown man, I’ve been through surgeries before — but the thought of having my ticker worked on was extremely frightening.

So I did some investigating and found this type of surgery is incredibly common. Over 700 of these surgeries are performed each year at the major O‘ahu hospitals. My procedure was at Straub, which alone performs over 160 of these procedures annually.

My surgeon explained everything — before, during and after. Although I would advise people to do their homework, I would also suggest avoiding a deep dive into the rabbit hole of details available online. Those facts won’t matter — you are not doing the surgery — and they’ll just drive you nuts.

Your hospital stay: What should you bring to the hospital? Well, think of it as packing for a vacation. Necessities include your “Boarding Pass” (driver’s license and credit card). Bring a warm robe (hospitals keep the AC at Reykjavik levels). Pack your phone, laptop, chargers, cables and toiletries. Books and magazines are very important because the TV only picks up the major channels. Don’t expect to stream Netflix or Hulu. The new season of “Only Murders in the Building” will just have to wait.

You won’t get much sleep. Staff will be entering your room at intervals of 3.5 seconds to take your vitals, provide meds and take an inventory of supplies. You can throw your privacy out the window.
There is none in the hospital.

Friends and relatives will make the trip to the hospital, sit on cold metal folding chairs in your room and make small talk while trying not to stare at the tubes, wires and bags hanging from your body. So when they call, let them know that you’d love to see them but you will only have 10 minutes to visit because of some procedure (that you made up). That way, you will spare your visitor from having to make up a “I have to go now” story.

Home sweet home: You probably won’t be allowed to drive, so make arrangements for meals and grocery delivery.

In my case, my wonderful sister had everything under control: My necessities were all within reach and the new season of “Murders in the Building” was queued up. After she left a couple weeks later, my pre-prepared frozen meals certainly came in handy.

Major surgery is scary: That can’t be avoided — but with a little preparation, knowledge and help from friends and family, surgery may not be quite as bad as you thought it would be. Although daytime TV is…

Comments

One response to “The Scary Thought of Surgery”

  1. Hiding your fear was an Academy Award performance! Your sister.

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