What can brighten the day of a hospice patient with no one to visit them or a person going through chemotherapy? With a cold nose and furry smile, the Hawaiian Humane Society’s Joy Ambassadors help to spread cheer as part of the pet visitation program. Volunteers and their pets visit about 50 hospitals, care homes and rehabilitation centers to greet the residents.
One of those special pets is Athena, who found a new family with long-time volunteer Ron. Now they are an active part of the Society’s Joy Ambassador team. Programs such as pet visitation help draw pet owners and their animals closer, while helping others enjoy the human-animal bond.
For many people, the most endearing friends are their animal companions. Pets help with anxiety, lower blood pressure and improve a person’s mood. The touch of an animal can bring great comfort. In the last year, Joy Ambassadors teams touched the lives of more than 15,000 people.
For information in becoming a pet visitation volunteer, call Jamie Langlois at 356-2222 or visit HawaiianHumane.org.
What can brighten the day of a hospice patient with no one to visit them or a person going through chemotherapy? With a cold nose and furry smile, the Hawaiian Humane Society’s Joy Ambassadors help to spread cheer as part of the pet visitation program. Volunteers and their pets visit about 50 hospitals, care homes…
If you are a Tony Bennett fan, there are few things better in middle age than listening to a medley of his hits, which has to include “I Left My Heart in San Francisco!”
He recently performed at the Neal Blaisdell concert hall and his performance was spectacular. At the young age of 87, he belted out the first song he recorded in 1932, and next Charlie Chaplin’s, “Smile.” He followed with a medley of his favorite hits that caused the crowd to clap and cheer and ended with a 10-minute standing ovation.
Bennett performed for about 90 minutes. A duet with his daughter was a real crowd pleaser. He danced and twirled, didn’t miss a note, word or beat. He talked a bit about an upcoming new album with Lady Gaga and told the crowd to please go out and buy it because he needs the money. He laughed and blew kisses to crowd and told his adoring fans how much he loved them.
As he sang a favorite, “For Once In My Life,” I changed the lyrics to match my Medicare-centric mindset.
This is the tune I was hearing;
For once in my life, I have Medicare Advantage,
Something I’ve needed so long,
For once unafraid, I can go where life leads me
And I know my Medicare plan will keep me strong.
For once I can say this is my Medicare, you can’t take it.
As long as I keep up my Part B payments, I can make it.
For once in my life,
I have everything in the world that I need.
___________________________
Martha Khlopin hosts the popular weekly radio program “Medicare Moment with Martha — The World of Medicare” sponsored by AlohaCare. It airs on KHNR-690AM on Saturdays from 11–11:30 a.m. and on KGU-99.5FM on Sundays from 10–10:30 a.m. For info, call (808) 973-0754, mkhlopin@alohacare.org.
If you are a Tony Bennett fan, there are few things better in middle age than listening to a medley of his hits, which has to include “I Left My Heart in San Francisco!” He recently performed at the Neal Blaisdell concert hall and his performance was spectacular. At the young age of 87, he…
The pool of family and friends to care for Hawai‘i baby boomers as they age into their 80s will be less than half as deep as it is today, according to a new report from AARP. The report predicts the ratio of potential family caregivers to elders needing care will plummet from today’s six caregivers for each person over the age of 80 to fewer than three caregivers per elderly person in 2030.
The Aging of the Baby Boom and the Growing Care Gap from the AARP Public Policy Institute also anticipates that the dearth of family caregivers projected for 2030 to 2050 will intensify the emotional, physical and financial costs borne by future caregiving family members and friends.
“About half of older Hawai‘i residents believe they will be able to rely on their families to meet their needs when they need long-term care,” says AARP Hawaii State President Gerry Silva. “But this confidence is likely to erode when it collides with the dramatically shrinking availability of family caregivers in the future.”
As the number of Hawai‘I residents over the age of 80 increases in the next 20 years, the number of people in the primary caregiving years will remain flat, the report states. Meanwhile, in 2050, there will be nearly three times as many people age 80 and older in Hawai‘i as there are today. As a result, by 2050, the caregiver support ratio which was 6.1 in 2010 when boomers were in their peak caregiving years, is projected to drop to 2.1 percent when the boomers will have reached their 80s. According to the report, in just 13 years, as the baby boomers age into their 80s, the decline in caregiver support will shift from a slow decline to a free fall.
The new caregiver report calculates the availability of caregivers by dividing the number of people in the most common caregiving age range (those ages 45-64) by the number of older people most at risk of needing long-term services and\ supports (those ages 80+). The former group reflects the demographics of today’s average caregivers, the latter is the population likely to have some kind of disability and need help with daily activities.
The complete report, The Aging of the Baby Boom and the Growing Care Gap: A Look at Future Declines in the Availability of Family Caregivers, can be found at www.tinyurl.com/aarp-caregiving.
AARP is a membership organization for people age 50 and older with 148,000 members in Hawai‘i. We champion access to affordable, quality health care for all generations, provide the tools needed to save for retirement, and serve as a reliable information source on issues critical to older Americans.
The pool of family and friends to care for Hawai‘i baby boomers as they age into their 80s will be less than half as deep as it is today, according to a new report from AARP. The report predicts the ratio of potential family caregivers to elders needing care will plummet from today’s six caregivers…
The role of being a “reverse parent” didn’t occur to me until I dropped off my father on his first day at adult day care. While walking back to my car, I said to myself, I hope the day care doesn’t call me and say they’re sending him home because he soiled his clothing or worse yet; he got into a scuffle with another senior.
I chuckled to myself, Wow, now I’m the parent taking care of my father. The roles have been reversed.
I tell my fellow baby-boomer friends; we’re reverse parents. I get laughter and sometimes I get head shaking. In Hawai‘i and across the nation, there are adult children (like me) who are caring for their parents. A role few of us are prepared to take on. Caregiving blindsides many of us.
My father passed away November 2007, and then the reverse parent role started again two years later with my mother. I tell friends, “I have an 86-year-old daughter.” And just like anyone else — regardless of age — she wants to be heard … and, gratefully, I have learned to listen. This is one thing I’d like to tell my fellow baby boomers to do — ask … and listen. My mother has told me many stories that are “pearls.” For example, her father, my maternal grandfather, was a fisherman on the aku boat. She explained how he had very strong arms and legs, as it wasn’t an option for a him to tell the boat captain that he needed to take a break while the fish were still biting.
Another pearl involved my paternal grandparents who worked for the first governor of Hawai‘i, Joseph B. Poindexter. My grandfather was the chef and my grandmother (“Baba”) was one of the servers. She wore traditional kimono while serving dinner guests at the Governor’s Mansion. President Franklin D. Roosevelt appointed Poindexter for two full terms, 1934 through 1942. He was among the first to advocate Hawai‘i’s statehood, yet that endeavor was interrupted in December of 1941 when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor.
My mother told me that on the day of the surprise attack on Pearl Harbor, my grandfather was planning to go out fishing in his small boat that he had moored at Kewalo Basin. For some reason he decided against it, but his friend did go out to sea. In the mayhem that occurred, he was mistaken as being part of the Japanese Navy disguised as a civilian and was killed.
I’m fortunate to own a home care agency and have a brother who puts in just as much time and effort caring for our mother. My brother and I do the night shifts and one of our employees cares for my mother during the day. However, for families that don’t that level of support, there are respite programs, adult day care centers, transportation services and support groups in the community. Each family is unique, and needs different resources. If you want to discuss options available for caring for your parents, feel free to call 545-3700 or visit www.ComfortingHandsHawaii.com.
The role of being a “reverse parent” didn’t occur to me until I dropped off my father on his first day at adult day care. While walking back to my car, I said to myself, I hope the day care doesn’t call me and say they’re sending him home because he soiled his clothing or…
Caregivers often are so busy caring for others that they tend to neglect their own emotional, physical and spiritual health. Caregiver stress can be particularly damaging since it is a long-term challenge. Caregiving can be overwhelming at times and if this stress is left unchecked it can take a toll on a person’s health, relationships and state of mind. Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion that may be accompanied by a change in attitude from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned. Burnout often occurs when caregivers don’t get the help they need or if they try to do more than they are able.
What Are the Symptoms of Caregiver Burnout?
Caregivers who are burned out may experience fatigue, stress, anxiety and depression, with the following included:
Withdrawal from friends and family
Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed
Feeling irritable, hopeless and helpless
Changes in appetite and weight
Changes in sleep patterns
Getting sick more often
Feelings of wanting to hurt oneself
Emotional and physical exhaustion
Lack of energy
Difficulty concentrating
Unable to relax
What Causes Caregiver Burnout?
Some caregivers place unreasonable demands on themselves as they are unable to accept help from others, seeing caregiving as their exclusive responsibility. Caregivers are too busy providing care that they often neglect their own health. Many people are confused when thrust into the role of a caregiver, unable to separate it from previous roles such as spouse, child, etc. Caregivers who have unrealistic expectations get frustrated more easily. There may be a sense of lack of control over financial resources, planning and management of their loved one’s care. Many caregivers cannot recognize when they are suffering from burnout until it is too late.
Here are some caregiver survival tips:
Share your feelings with others
Set realistic goals
Plan ahead
Take one day at a time
Ask for and accept help
Learn about available resources
Develop contingency plans
Make your health a priority
Get enough rest and eat properly
Make time for leisure
Be good to yourself
Caregivers often are so busy caring for others that they tend to neglect their own emotional, physical and spiritual health. Caregiver stress can be particularly damaging since it is a long-term challenge. Caregiving can be overwhelming at times and if this stress is left unchecked it can take a toll on a person’s health, relationships…
Moanalua Senior Citizens’ Club, board members and advisor. Lt.– Rt.: Roy Takara, Jane Uehara, Betsy Miyahira, Alice Toyota, June Minakami, Jeannette Nishikawa, Jenna Mow (Advisor), Daniel Levay, Sherry Goya (Generations Magazine), and Herbert Chang.
Like many of the City & County’s Parks and Recreation senior programs, the Moanalua Senior Citizens’ Club did not meet in June, July and August while the City’s Summer Fun programs took over their locations. When I delivered Generations Magazine’s August/September issue on Monday, September 9th, I heard one of the seniors say that it was just like the “first day back to school.”
The Moanalua Senior Citizens’ Club was organized on February 2, 1981 with 16 members. Today, the club is 154 strong, has an active board, meets every Monday at the Moanalua Recreation Center, from 9 a.m. to Noon, and has two bowling leagues. Its board members and committee chairs are quite organized and impressive, with reports, speakers, entertainment or excursions scheduled each Monday. The club also has fundraisers throughout the year.
The City & County of Honolulu has more than 35 senior clubs, representing about 3,500 participants in East, West, Leeward and Windward 55 years and older. For more information, call (808) 763-3003 or visit www.honolulu.gov/parks/programs/senior.
Like many of the City & County’s Parks and Recreation senior programs, the Moanalua Senior Citizens’ Club did not meet in June, July and August while the City’s Summer Fun programs took over their locations. When I delivered Generations Magazine’s August/September issue on Monday, September 9th, I heard one of the seniors say that it…
When May Lee (victim’s name changed) hired Susan Chin to be her caregiver, it seemed like the perfect solution to her long-term care needs. Over time, however, when Chin gained Lee’s trust, she slowly gained access to Lee’s finances and convinced her to sign a “power of attorney” (sometimes referred to in our office as a “license to steal”). It was not long after getting this legal document, that Chin violated the trust given to her and sold Lee’s house for more than $600,000, of which Chin kept the money for herself.
Although Susan Chin’s actions were found out and she was prosecuted for her crimes, May Lee still endured financial hardship, emotional stress and, ultimately, the loss of her dream of spending the rest of her life in the home that she had once owned.
When Yumi Smith (victim’s name changed) hired an agency to assist her in caring for her husband who was in poor health, she trusted that the company would provide her with caregivers who were not only responsible and professional, but who also wanted to sincerely help her in caring for her husband. Unfortunately, this business sent Kathlyn Lepena, a caregiver who ended up helping herself to Smith’s jewelry.
The Honolulu Police Department investigated this crime and was able to recover most of the jewelry Lepena stole. Eventually, Lepena pled guilty to the felony offense of Theft in the Second Degree and is presently under court supervision for her crime.
Unfortunately, the above two cases are only a couple of the many crimes the Elder Abuse Justice Unit at the Office of the Prosecuting Attorney has handled in the past several years. It is cases like these that highlight the risks involved when hiring a stranger to care for yourself or a loved one in your own home.
So, how should you hire a caregiver to come into your home? How can you prevent abuses?
When looking for an agency or service that will provide a skilled worker to come into the home and provide assistance, it is important to do your homework first.
Here are two agencies that can let you know if any complaints have been made against a business:
Better Business Bureau (808) 536-6956
Consumer Resource Center
State Dept. of Commerce and Consumer Affairs (808) 587-3222
Additionally, if you type in the company’s name with the word “review” in an Internet search engine (such as Google and Bing), you might find reviews from people, either offering praises or warnings. Also, seek recommendations from friends who have already gone through the process of finding somebody.
Perhaps the best thing that can be done, however, is to protect your financial information. Upon hiring a caregiver, never give out private financial or personal information, account numbers or blank checks. Your caregiver is there to take care of your family — not your money.
Remember, a stranger is entering your home or the home of someone you care for. It is a lot better to know the background of these providers, than to assume they are the caregivers you envisioned them to be.
To Report Suspected Elder Abuse, call: Adult Protective Services 808.832.5115 ElderAbuse@honolulu.gov
All reports are confidential.
When May Lee (victim’s name changed) hired Susan Chin to be her caregiver, it seemed like the perfect solution to her long-term care needs. Over time, however, when Chin gained Lee’s trust, she slowly gained access to Lee’s finances and convinced her to sign a “power of attorney” (sometimes referred to in our office as…
As an entertainer, I have always had a great love for the arts and my professional life reflects that as well. But painting was the farthest thought in my head. I did, however, secretly admire painters from afar. I would study their paintings and read their back stories. I would feel a strong sense of connection when I read about how they lived their lives and their philosophies and dreams.
So that familiar feeling, that tug at my gut came around again and hit me real hard on Tuesday Sept. 11, 2001 (9/11). I had felt it before but never really confronted it or allowed it to well up in my soul, as it did that day.
We often think to ourselves, Oh yeah, I’ll investigate that emotion and see what comes of it, but for now I’m just too busy to do anything about it. So, I put it off yet another time. Those burning embers deep in my na‘au, trying to surface once again, were pushed down and lay dormant.
We are funny us human beings. We are always looking for a sign it seems … something that will tell us what to do with our lives. Pursuing our own dreams means we have to alter our present course, walk the path less traveled and risk failure and embarrassment.
I believe that signs are being showed to us all the time! Some are laid out in front of us and yet we still don’t see them. These extraordinary higher vibrations that we all have felt in our lifetimes wait for us to acknowledge their splitsecond appearance in our lives.
I’m talking about passion!
And so, in your life, if that passion came knocking at your door today, what would you do? Well, I can tell you what I did. I finally answered the door.
I can tell you that all the fears that accompanied the passion were realized. It was hard making that abrupt turn. Oh, but the gifts it brings, the feeling of soaring high above the Ko‘olau. A freedom and separation from a physical reality that turns into spirituality! Now it is a higher reality, now it is the divine. Faith, hope, love and passion!
Finally, I said to myself, I’m going to paint today. I’m going to listen to that nudge, that rumbling in my gut and see how far I can take it.
From that moment forward, my life would change in a very profound way.
Since September 11, 2001, I have painted every day.
This is what I would like to impart to you … a little bit of my mana‘o: You, too, can seize the moment! Make the move to pursue that secret you’ve been pushing down and hiding for so long. The time is now … grip your shauts! I guess what I am saying here is, It’s never too late to find that passion!
Join in a conversation with Frank B. Shaner on Facebook and experience his art onlin at .
As an entertainer, I have always had a great love for the arts and my professional life reflects that as well. But painting was the farthest thought in my head. I did, however, secretly admire painters from afar. I would study their paintings and read their back stories. I would feel a strong sense of…
As the air cools and the mango trees produce the last of their fruit, we approach the fall season and the Medicare Open Enrollment Period. November is also National Caregivers Month. These are both very important times for individuals with Medicare and our unsung heroes — caregivers.
Medicare’s Open Enrollment Period is from October 15 – December 7. This is an opportunity to change, drop or enroll in a Medicare health or drug plan.
The staff and volunteers at the Hawaii SHIP/Sage PLUS Program would like to encourage everyone to do a Medicare Plan Check Up before Thanksgiving. This check up involves some simple questions that you can ask yourself or about the person you are taking care of.
□ What is my current coverage?
□ Does it cover my medications?
□ Does my physician and other providers work with my plan?
□ Do I have Medicare?
□ Do I have a former employer’ retirement plan?
□ Could that insurance be impacted (possibly canceled) if I enroll in a Medicare Health or Drug plan?
□ Do I have coverage from the Veterans Administration or TriCare for Life?
□ Does my insurance include drug coverage?
□ Is my current plan/coverage meeting my needs?
□ Is my plan still affordable- including premiums and co-pays/co-insurances
□ Are there any new Medicare Advantage options available that include a benefit that I need (vision, dental, health club membership) and is not covered by Original/Traditional Medicare?
The Hawaii SHIP will be providing Medicare Screenings across the state during October and November. To see when we will be in your area, visit www.hawaiiship.org, email help@hawaiiship.org or call 1-888-875-9229.
We also provide assistance from a Certified Counselor who can help you look at your Medicare health options.
We would also like to highlight some information that is available for caregivers from Medicare. For A Caregiver’s Resource Kit with helpful videos, pamphlets and other information, visit www.medicare.gov/campaigns/caregiver-resource-kit.html.
Can’t afford your prescription drug costs or your Medicare Part B premium? Call the Hawaii SHIP/Sage PLUS Program for a free screening and assistance completing the applications. Would you like to help your community? Call for our volunteer experiences at 888-875-9229.
As the air cools and the mango trees produce the last of their fruit, we approach the fall season and the Medicare Open Enrollment Period. November is also National Caregivers Month. These are both very important times for individuals with Medicare and our unsung heroes — caregivers. Medicare’s Open Enrollment Period is from October 15…
Unlike “water aerobics,” aquatic therapy is a specialty of physical therapy performed in a warm-water pool to assist patients in healing. The effectiveness of an aquatic program rests largely on the physical properties of water, along with the skilled guidance of a qualified physical therapist.
The water’s buoyancy removes the stress and pressure on muscles and joints, which lowers pain levels and allows for greater range of motion during exercises. This safe, weight-free environment allows patients to exercise pain-free for longer periods. There is no other exercise that can provide this type of low-impact, calorie-burning environment.
The water’s viscosity assists weaker patients, while providing resistance for patients who are strong enough to increase their speed of body movements. Water makes muscles work harder than the same exercises on land.
The hydrostatic pressure (equilibrium) of the water decreases joint pain and soft tissue swelling at the injured sites.
The water’s warm temperature relaxes tight muscles and increases blood flow. Warm water allows patients to be comfortable and exercise as soon as they are immersed, foregoing the need for a lengthy warm-up period.
One of the biggest benefits of aquatherapy is the emotional boost patients get when they are able to do things in the water that they normally cannot do on land.
Aquatic therapy is a powerful, motivating choice for those who would like to break the cycle of chronic pain, increase strength or range of motion, improve balance and coordination, reduce stress and anxiety, and enhance feelings of well-being and confidence.
Buoyancy & Viscosity
Hydrostatic PressureEmotional Boost
Unlike “water aerobics,” aquatic therapy is a specialty of physical therapy performed in a warm-water pool to assist patients in healing. The effectiveness of an aquatic program rests largely on the physical properties of water, along with the skilled guidance of a qualified physical therapist. The water’s buoyancy removes the stress and pressure on muscles…
“While [our challenges] may be far from over, we are in total gratitude for each day … each moment.”November is National Caregivers Month. It is a time to acknowledge the important role that family, friends and neighbors play in caring for the ill, disabled or aged. Family caregivers provide an estimated $450 billion worth of unpaid care to loved ones annually, according to the Family Caregiver Alliance. Also, 65.7 million caregivers make up 29 percent of the U.S. adult population.
In this issue of Generations Magazine, TV personality Emme Tomimbang shares her personal story of how learning to be the caregiver—and the patient—changed her outlook on life and family forever.
Most of you know my work as a television news reporter, host and producer of my own show Emme’s Island Moments. In my 20 years of TV news and another 20 in independent television production, I’ve done hundreds of people profiles, lifestyle clips and health segments on AIDS, diabetes, leukemia and heart disease. But nothing could have prepared me for the life-changing role as a caregiver. This time, I was not researching, interviewing or reporting on a difficult subject for a television series—rather, I was living the drama—the life of a caregiver and, eventually, the patient.
My husband Jim Burns, who retired as Chief Judge of the State Intermediate Court Of Appeals six years ago, and I share our story publicly because we want other couples and families who find themselves caregiving each other to know they are not alone.
About two years ago, I started a life-altering journey in becoming a multiple caregiver for a friend, mother, husband and, yes, even a pet. My caregiving experience started with one of my best friends, Mary, who had just returned from a visit to the Philippines. The following day she suffered a stroke that placed her in intensive care at The Queen’s Medical Center. In the weeks that followed, I helped her husband and family care for her in the hospital, at rehab and later at home. Most of what I did included emotional support, weekly visits and some advocacy work helping them navigate through the confusing world of hospital, home and healthcare.
Today, I’m happy to report that my friend walks proudly with a cane and is recovering well.
Three months after Mary’s hospitalization, my mom, Nena, had back surgery and at the age of 85 was hospitalized at a Kaiser Permanente Medical Center. She bravely fought to live even while on a ventilator and trachea tube. She could not speak until three months later. During her hospital stay, my sisters (one of them who flew in from San Francisco almost monthly) and I took daily, six-hour hospital caregiving shifts. Our family became part of her medical team. After a seven-month hospital stay, my mom was eventually taken off all her machines and left Kaiser for an advanced nursing home.
Caregiving: In Sickness, In Health
Three months prior to my mother’s departure, my husband Jim was diagnosed with throat cancer stage 4. So while caregiving for my mom in the hospital, I was blindsided with my husband’s life-threatening diagnoses. We hit the ground running learning about his illness, treatments and eventual home care.
We found out about Jim’s medical matter in October 2011 just days before our planned trip to Australia to visit relatives.
Our internist Dr. Thomas Au suggested, “Go take that trip and enjoy yourselves. When you return, we’ll begin treatments.” It was the best advice. We had a wonderful time knowing our lives would be so different once we returned home. It made the trip bittersweet, but we took pleasure in our moments together even more so.
Our family’s Thanksgiving dinner in 2011 was to be the last normal meal Jim would eat for months. From that point on, he was tube fed and I had to learn how to administer cans of liquid food and medication that needed to be crushed and given by syringe.
All this was so new and strange to me, but I was determined to learn it all and do it well. And it was never easy.
I had friends who were nurses, professional caregivers and nursing home operators—all on speed dial. It was one question after another. I’ve come to appreciate the hard work all professional caregivers and healthcare workers face day to day.
In December, we realized we had to postpone our Christmas celebrations, and my husband and I spent New Year’s Eve watching the countdown from his hospital bed at Kuakini Medical Center.
During Jim’s chemo and radiation treatments, he developed pneumonia and had two separate weeklong hospital stays. I ran back and forth from his hospital room at Kuakini Medical Center to the Care Center of Honolulu (formerly The Convalescent Center of Honolulu) across the street to check on my mom. It was dizzying at times to bounce between patients, but this was my mom and my husband, I needed to be there for both of them.
My Turn
Then, in May of 2012, I faced my own medical condition. I had just completed writing the “Hawaii 5-0 Revisited” TV special—working late nights, early mornings and in between caregiving my mother and tube feeding my husband. I had just sent my husband with a friend who drove him to a doctors’ appointment when I collapsed after toweling off from a shower. I just hit the floor. I had no idea what happened, but my 110-pound Rottweiler, Rufus, used his nose to open our sliding screen door and woke me up by licking my face. With his help I was able to get to the phone and call my husband. I miraculously remembered his cell number, dialed it and told him I needed help.
The following moments are a blur. I remember hearing both male and female voices. The EMTs and firefighters attempted to stabilize me while trying to control a protective Rufus who didn’t want strangers in the house or near me. My husband returned home just in time to sequester Rufus in the next room, while EMT’s put me on the gurney and rushed me to Castle Medical Center.
At Castle, my husband was told that I had suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm (a swollen blood vessel, with risk of rupture, severe hemorrhaging and sudden death) and needed to be taken to The Queen’s Medical Center’s Neuro-ICU unit. I was again rushed by ambulance, and my husband who hadn’t driven in nearly seven months was now driving himself to meet me at Queen’s.
Suddenly, the caregiver became the patient and the patient became the caregiver. We traded roles in a matter of moments.
I don’t remember too much of the first week of my two-week hospital stay. But when I came to, I could not believe I had “lost” an entire week. Where did the time go, what happened to me, why was I even at the hospital?
No one would say at first. Then, slowly, I was told I had a two-and-a-half-hour procedure in which two platinum coils were placed in my brain to stop the bleeding and repair a broken aneurysm. My neurologist Dr. Sung Bae Lee told me that I “cheated death” and I was in the 25 percent of patients who survive.
That was a lot of information to resolve and accept. I couldn’t believe it.
Once I was conscious, the doctors then became concerned about a spike in my blood pressure, which was caused by my worry over Jim’s well being. I thought, While I’ve been hospitalized, who has been tube feeding him? Who is giving him his meds? Being a caregiver is all consuming and nearly impossible to “turn off”—even from a hospital bed.
Fortunately, the hospital had someone clean his feeding tube when he came to visit me. And, because my niece, Juliette, was a head nurse of the ICU Unit, she quickly dispatched another nurse to check in on Jim at home.
During this time, my mother was across the street, worried and constantly asking how Jim and I were doing. Suddenly, I had to let go of caregiving and ‘self caregive,’ heal and get my own health back on track.
When I finally came home, I tried to resume my own duties as a caregiver. It was among the most challenging days of my life.
Post-Op & Puppy Love
Taking medications for my aneurysm and post procedure made it difficult to be my husband’s caregiver. But by this time, he had become so self reliant and spent more time trying to take care of me. I finally caved in and had to let go. This is where Rufus, my Rottweiler, began to caregive both of us. Yes, our 9-year-old dog intently watched both Jim and me, making sure he knew where we were at all times. I have to admit, I’m calmer and more relaxed when Rufus is nearby. He even reminds me when its time for my daily nap. He nudges me and draws me to the bedroom and he sleeps on his blanket next to my bed.
We have friends and house help to come in, too. Our cleaning lady Bernie helps me around the house, which has been a hospital zone for the past year. Through The Queen’s Medical Center’s head and neck support group, we found our home chef Mike O’Connor. Mike is teaching me how to cook soft textured foods for Jim to swallow. Jim has lost his taste buds, so Mike teaches me how to make the food ‘look good’ enough to eat. Chef ‘O Connor helps cancer patients like Jim eat calorie- and nutritionally rich foods.
Then, as life continued to throw curve balls …my mom, whom I started to visit again about two months into my own recovery once I received clearance to drive, quietly passed. This was a very emotional time for me and my sisters. But I was grateful for the time spent caregiving her in the hospital, watching her enjoy her final life’s moments. She was a “mom” till the end, always asking about how Jim and I were doing. When I reassured her that we were on the road to recovery, she decided it was time to leave. Life continually evolved between caregiving, life and death.
Shortly later, we noticed that Rufus was limping and acted less jovial than his usual self. We learned that he had aggressive arthritis and hip dysplasia—most common with large dogs. This is the dog who saved me and later became my uncertified ‘service dog.’ I was going to help him at all cost. Now it was our turn to caregive Rufus.
After a pre-diagnosis from our veterinarian Dr. Allen Takayama, we were sent to the Veterinary Emergency & Referral Center of Hawaii where Dr. Doug Rohn gave Rufus an MRI to show us the advancement of his medical ailments.
We were told about an animal acupuncturist, Dr. Wendy Asato, in Kailua. Today, Rufus is responding well to acupuncture and happily goes in once a month for his treatments.
Giving Thanks For A Second Chance
My husband jokes that our home is the Burns-Tomimbang-Rufus nursing home. We are all in recovery. It’s been a roller-coaster ride for nearly three years, but we’ve each managed to caregive one another and survive many of our challenges together. While our struggles may be far from over, we are in total gratitude for each day, each moment.
We’ve come to understand that senior living not only means navigating our way through our own aging process and health issues, we also need to caregive our loved ones. It is a fact of life. Hopefully, we can all learn and teach one another how to shortcut through this part of life. We celebrate life in a whole new way with moments and milestones each day. And we can’t say thank you enough to the people who have helped us during these critical times, including our family, friends, doctors, nurses, therapists and our Times Supermarket pharmacist.
A year to the day I collapsed at home, I found the EMTs and firefighters who responded to our 911 call and came to my home. I had the chance to thank them personally for saving my life. They, in turn, thanked me, saying they rarely hear about what happens to their cases and it makes them feel good to know that someone they helped is doing OK. Many do not survive. I’m forever grateful to them, because I did.
Jim, me and Rufus are living the “new normal.” We will never be the same people we were before all of this. And that’s ok. It sort of feels good to be different…to see life and feel the gifts that come our way.
We constantly remind people like us—caregivers—to look for agencies and organizations that can offer support. They are out there. And caregiving as a couple does make your love richer and offer more tenderness in your relationship. And love should thrive “in sickness and in health.”
If you or a family member is in need of professional caregiving help, please resource this issue of Generations Magazine or visit www.Generations808.com. Additional information can be found at www.caregivers.com or search support groups by county at www.tinyurl.com/hawaiicares.
Emme is a veteran broadcaster, with more than 35 years of experience in media. Nearly 20 yrs. Ago she launched EMME, Inc. and her TV series “Emme’s Island Moments,” where she interviewed everyone from pop idols to U.S. presidents.
Emme with Mark Dacascos, actor from Hawaii 5-0.Emme with Jasmine Trias, American singer-entertainer placing third on Season 3 of American Idol.Emme with Yvonne Elliman, acclaimed American musician and songwriter.Emme with celebrity chefs: Russel Siu, Jean Marie Josselin, Alan Wong, Sommelier Chuck Furuya, and Roy YamaguchiEmme and Jim with President Barack Obama.
In this issue of Generations Magazine, TV personality Emme Tomimbang shares her personal story of how learning to be the caregiver—and the patient—changed her outlook on life and family forever.
Where has the year gone? As we near the holiday season I am reminded of how important our families are to all of us. And there is no bigger issue that most of us will all face other than caregiving for our parents.
As November is National Caregiver’s Awareness Month, this issue of the magazine is dedicated to all the caregivers in Hawai‘i who take care of their loved ones. There are more than 249,000 people in the Islands who provide over $162 million in unpaid caregiver support, according to a AARP report.
A big mahalo to TV personality Emme Tomimbang and her husband Jim Burns, retired chief judge of the State Intermediate Court Of Appeals, for sharing their personal caregiving story with Generations Magazine. Our cover story, When Caregiving Comes Full Circle, exemplifies the struggles — and rewards — of caring for family and friends.
Speaking of family, we welcome Generations Magazine’s new business partners — Ventus Design, Alternate Energy, California Hotel and HiHealthCare. All of our business partners are “vetted” in that they are senior-friendly businesses, love working with our older population and understand the importance of trust and respecting each other. We cannot bring you Generations Magazine without their support, so if you’re looking for senior services, please consider our business partners.
Recently at the Hawai‘i Senior Fair at the Neal Blaisdell Center, the magazine offered a chance to win a 5-night, 6-day Las Vegas vacation with submission of a survey. Congratulations to our Senior Fair survey winner Myrna Arakaki, 70, of Kaneohe. She told us that she and her husband are excited and thankful. (We will publish the results of the survey in the upcoming December/January issue.)
In our goal to continue to provide more resources for our readers, one of our columnists Frank B. Shaner and I are kicking off a new radio program called the “Baby Boomer Show.” For more information of when to tune in and give us a call, turn to page 9.
Lastly, check out our Generations Magazine website at www.Generations808.com. It is easier than ever to navigate. Because many attendees of the 7th Annual Elderhood “Aging in Place” workshops didn’t get to see all of the presenters, we uploaded videos of the presentations online. Thanks again to all of our presenters!
Have a safe and Happy Halloween!
Live well,
Percy Ihara, Editor/Publisher
Where has the year gone? As we near the holiday season I am reminded of how important our families are to all of us. And there is no bigger issue that most of us will all face other than caregiving for our parents. As November is National Caregiver’s Awareness Month, this issue of the magazine…
The pool of family and friends to care for Hawai‘i baby boomers as they age into their 80s will be less than half as deep as it is today, according to a new report from AARP. The report predicts the ratio of potential family caregivers to elders needing care will plummet from today’s six caregivers for each person over the age of 80 to fewer than three caregivers per elderly person in 2030.
The new caregiver report calculates the availability of caregivers by dividing the number of people in the most common caregiving age range (those ages 45-64) by the number of older people most at risk of needing long-term services and\ supports (those ages 80+). The former group reflects the demographics of today’s average caregivers, the latter is the population likely to have some kind of disability and need help with daily activities.
Caregivers often are so busy caring for others that they tend to neglect their own emotional, physical and spiritual health. Caregiver stress can be particularly damaging since it is a long-term challenge. Caregiving can be overwhelming at times and if this stress is left unchecked it can take a toll on a person’s health, relationships and state of mind. Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion that may be accompanied by a change in attitude from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned. Burnout often occurs when caregivers don’t get the help they need or if they try to do more than they are able.
Taking medications for my aneurysm and post procedure made it difficult to be my husband’s caregiver. But by this time, he had become so self reliant and spent more time trying to take care of me. I finally caved in and had to let go. This is where Rufus, my Rottweiler, began to caregive both of us. Yes, our 9-year-old dog intently watched both Jim and me, making sure he knew where we were at all times. I have to admit, I’m calmer and more relaxed when Rufus is nearby. He even reminds me when its time for my daily nap. He nudges me and draws me to the bedroom and he sleeps on his blanket next to my bed.
Shortly later, we noticed that Rufus was limping and acted less jovial than his usual self. We learned that he had aggressive arthritis and hip dysplasia—most common with large dogs. This is the dog who saved me and later became my uncertified ‘service dog.’ I was going to help him at all cost. Now it was our turn to caregive Rufus.
