Children process and experience grief according to their developmental stage. If we try to determine their grief status by an adult measure, then something may be missed.
Grieving kids can experience a wide range of emotions, expressing sorrow through tears one moment and wanting to play the next. From an adult lens, this can be perceived as the child being “fine,” but in actuality, playing is one way they process their emotions. Another indicator of grief in children may be a regression in behaviors. The child may have a consistent developmental skill, then suddenly, they are no longer exhibiting their typical abilities. For example, a child may have independent toileting skills, then they begin to have bathroom accidents. This can be frustrating for a parent or the child’s caregiver, especially if they are unaware of the root cause. Healthy support includes talking story with them using simple words about their feelings, allowing them to cry, assuring them that what they are going through is normal and modeling healthy coping skills.
Good conversation starters may include encouraging the child to draw their emotions, reading through a children’s grief book or discussing a movie. Disney movies have many threads of grief sewn through their storylines.
Addressing grief can be uncomfortable, but it does not have to be overwhelming.
BEREAVEMENT NETWORK OF HAWAI‘I
Facilitated by KŌKUA MAU (nonprofit)
808-585-9977 | kokuamau.org
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