As the holidays approach, we may wonder how we will handle the festivities and get-togethers without our loved ones who have passed away. It will be different each year. But what matters is how we take care of ourselves. Thich Nhat Hanh, spiritual leader and peace activist, once said, “Do whatever works and change it when it no longer works.”
So how do we take care of ourselves during the holidays? Maybe we spend time in nature, taking walks in botanical gardens and parks. Maybe we respond to holiday invitations by saying, “Let me check my calendar and get back to you,” as you evaluate how to spend your time. Maybe we plan which tasks we want or do not want to do during the holidays. Maybe we practice breathing exercises, meditate, journal, sing, hum, garden, etc.
Then, how do we honor our loved ones during the holiday season? Maybe we prepare a favorite dish that our loved ones enjoyed. Maybe we wear their favorite hat or shirt. Maybe we exchange poignant and/or funny stories about our departed loved ones. Maybe we donate our time and/or gifts to charity work. Maybe we revise or create new holiday rituals for the family to enjoy.
Finding joy during difficult times can provide comfort and a sense of balance. And embracing joy helps foster resilience. Life is multifaceted and beauty can still exist amid sorrow.
BEREAVEMENT NETWORK OF HAWAI‘I
Facilitated by KŌKUA MAU (nonprofit)
808-585-9977 | kokuamau.org
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