Category: Jan – Feb 2023

  • A Sweet Life

    A Sweet Life

    Many claim they are leaving a legacy, yet Henry Kapono Ka‘aihue lives his every day, instilling pure aloha into everything he does. In his alleged “Golden Years,” when most are retired or slowing down, this remarkable music man has no intention of doing any of that any time soon.

    “I get to pick up my guitar and play every day — play for people and I stay happy,” says the Grammy-nominated Hawai‘i singer/songwriter. “I think retirement sometimes takes the ‘oomph’ out of life. What now, unless, you have a solid Plan B? I love staying in Plan A. It’s working.”

    “Retirement” is not in his vocabulary and he doesn’t believe any artist should stop creating. “Every day is exciting to figure out who you are and what you are doing, and how you can be even better.”

    The 74-year-old is happy, healthy and grateful for his “Sweet Life,” as his new song by the same name professes. He has no desire to pump the brakes on performing, and Henry will always be about sharing the stage with good friends, making music and giving back to the community, culture and the arts through kindness, commitment and unwavering passion.

    “That was Plan A. And it’s been working, so we’re sticking to it,” Henry shares, with his famous smile. “I am grateful for the love and support I have had through the years and even more grateful I can give back to Hawai‘i and future generations. I’m truly blessed!”

    The Essential Henry Kapono

    Henry Kapono is an ambassador of aloha. He is a household name across the isles. He is a respected vocalist, guitarist, songwriter, composer, performer, actor, author and family man, and a friend to many around the world. Fans have followed Henry from Pakalolo to The Rough Riders (a collaboration of Brother Noland, John Cruz and Henry) to his best-selling solo days. Most recognize him as half of Cecilio & Kapono (C&K), the trailblazing band that will be forever connected to the history of Hawaiian music.

    “If the music could just get beyond the reef, I knew it would cause something,” says Henry of the C&K heydays to his groundbreaking “Wild Hawaiian” solo album.

    Henry is a Grammy-nominated singer/songwriter with 21 Nā Hōkū Hanohano Awards, a Grammy Museum honoree — the State of Hawai‘i even gave him his own day — June 3.

    He’s earned accolades for his music, children’s book, performing and philanthropy. Henry is always energized and recently quite busy keeping up with his bustling gig schedule.

    At the end of the day, though, he’s focused on his family, community, music and those sharing his journey, with a commitment to the future of music in Hawai‘i. He still thinks of himself as the dedicated athlete and free-spirited local boy born and raised in small town Kapahulu, just outside of Waikīkī, who must have a guitar in his hands and positive vibes surrounding him every day.

    Reflections arise often, lately, he admits. He’s found a deeper appreciation for early inspiration and exploring moments that shaped his life. On the other hand, he’s writing songs with zeal, creating contemporary music and forever motivated. “Kapono,” his middle name and part of his stage name, means “righteous or good” in Hawaiian. He strives to embody that throughout his life in everything he does, especially music.

    “Our kuleana is helping others navigate their musical paths and provide guidance,” he says.

    The Road Not Taken

    Henry was a “pure jock” who excelled in wrestling, track and most specifically, baseball and football. He received a baseball scholarship to Punahou Academy (the Honolulu college prep school is former President Barack Obama’s alma mater) and a football scholarship to the University of Hawai‘i (UH).

    “Baseball was a very special time for me, mainly the Little League days when I made some really good friends who taught me a lot about teamwork,” says Henry. “I still carry those lessons with me to this day.”

    “Today, my son has picked up a passion for football, and I am excited to support him and see where he takes it.”

    Henry grew up surfing Waikīkī Beach, minutes from his family’s house. “That was my playground, but I’m not catching waves there anymore. It was a little less crowded in my day.”

    “I have a good life, had a good life and still have a good life,” says Henry, with his ever-present, luminous grin.

    Henry’s name could have been inscribed in sports halls of fame rather than musical history books. “My goal was to play in the NFL,” says Henry, a gifted defensive end. “I put 100 percent into every play and that got me far.”

    Henry experienced a knee injury that eventually healed. Yet a sonic path chose him after a fateful musical tour in Vietnam.

    He recalls when one of his coaches and lifelong mentor, Charlie Ane, pulled him aside and shared words of wisdom quite contrary to popular advice: “Sometimes you gotta do what your mind tells you and not what your heart tells you.”

    He also has fond memories of his former UH football coach, Larry Price. “He taught me so much… so many life lessons,” Henry says. “My coaches taught me a lot — not just about sports, but about life.”

    “There was a sign in the Punahou locker room that read, ‘A winner never quits and a quitter never wins.’ This is what I live my life by,” Henry says.

    “I always wanted to write a song for my dad and ‘Sailing’ is it.” (Kala Kaaihue, above)

    Family & Friends

    It’s no surprise Henry comes from a large, loving Hawaiian family. He’s blessed to say they were his biggest mentors in music growing up. “I was very fortunate to have my family support and inspire me in everything I did.”

    Henry is one of eight siblings, with five sisters who kept him kind, in line and on his toes. “I was always amazed by my one sister, Nona, who could pick up anything and play it.”

    Henry found choir at an early age, then learned guitar and ‘ukulele by listening. “My dad would come home from work every day and play his ‘ukulele and fall asleep in his chair, but every once in a while, he would teach me a song or two.”

    Now, the world is teaching each other Henry Kapono songs as his music continues to transcend generations.

    He’s also been reminiscing about early friendships and experiences. His father always said he would be lucky to count his good friends on one hand. “I’ve been thinking about it lately and realizing how many great friends I made, and how much they taught me about friendship. You always remember them. Those are good days,” says Henry.

    “I make friends every day, but it made sense after a while… Think about the friends that really back you up and are there. I realized what he meant.”

    “Henry Kapono is the absolute best,” says Keola Beamer, a Ki Ho‘alu Master celebrated for fusing Hawaiian roots with contemporary music, as one of the Beamer Brothers and the composer of “Honolulu City Lights.”

    Keola and Henry are both dearly loved by Hawai‘i’s music community. They tour together as the show Legends and remain dear friends over the years. Henry admits it’s quite a thrill to realize they’re both still out there making music and spreading the goodness of aloha.

    Amy Hānaiali‘i, Maui’s award-winning wahine with a famous falsetto, remains a close friend with Henry and his family; their keiki have been friends since birth. She often shares the stage with Henry and continues to be in awe of his inspiration. She knows he’ll be a part of the soundtrack of Hawai‘i — always.

    “Henry is an icon with an amazing career still to this day,” says Amy, a six-time Grammy Award winner. “He’s kind, loving and loves his home and family.”

    Moanalani & Keola Beamer at the Home In the Islands concert. (PC: Alden Fukushima)
    Moanalani & Keola Beamer at the Home In the Islands concert. (PC: Alden Fukushima)

    Initial Influences & Collaboration

    Back in the late ’60s, Henry experienced one of his guitar heroes — Jimi Hendrix — live on O‘ahu during one of his few trips to the Aloha State.

    Henry giddily recalls, “He came and played one night, and played about three songs, then stopped and said, ‘Keep your ticket stubs and come back Sunday.’ I guess the sound wasn’t happening or he was too stoned, but he came back and he played intensely for three hours Sunday… it totally blew me away!”

    The 17-year-old Henry wouldn’t have believed it if he had not seen Hendrix “actually making those sounds” from his guitar. He definitely absorbed some raw Hendrix energy.

    “In the ’70s, every artist had their own sound, their own vibe and thing they were putting out there — Jimi, Carlos Santana, Chicago, Janis Joplin, Linda Ronstadt, The Eagles… My favorites include The Young Rascals and Grand Funk,” Henry reminisces. “Those artists back then had magic, they gave it their all onstage and they inspired us all.”

    Amy Hānaiali'i at the Home In the Islands concert. (PC: Alden Fukushima)
    Amy Hānaiali’i at the Home In the Islands concert. (PC: Alden Fukushima)

    Guitarist Cecilio Rodriguez was in the band Unicorn when Henry noticed his playing and energy. They had dinner together in 1972 and C&K was born that very night. “It was meant to be,” says Henry. “The first song we played — it was like we rehearsed. A light switched on. We looked at each other and went ‘whoa.’ By the third song, we agreed we needed to start something and that was it.”

    In a matter of one day, they learned 30 songs together.

    Their first performance was in Haleiwa on North Shore O‘ahu opening for a rock group. The following year, that same rock group was their opener at the Waikīkī Shell.

    C&K hit fast fame opening for Boz Scaggs, Santana, America and Peter Frampton, to name a few. They were often compared to the legendary duo, Simon & Garfunkel. Henry grins the most, though, while sharing a story about the night C&K opened for Frank Zappa in 1973 at the Old Civic Auditorium. “I think it was our biggest stepping stone.”

    “We did our 15 minutes and got off stage… people were roaring,” recalls Henry.

    They left the stage quickly and were starting to pack up to go work when they were stopped by Zappa himself. “Where are you guys going?”

    Frank said. “Well, they’re still cheering for you, so get back up there.” “Artists of that caliber never do that,” says Henry.

    C&K soared during their hana hou, then headed to their club, Rainbow Villa, which had a line around the block. “The club was empty the first three months we were open… that night changed everything.”

    This experience stayed with him throughout his career and he vowed to always share the stage with up-and-coming artists.

    “Zappa’s exterior can be rough, but he is very intelligent and kind,” says Henry. “His music is way out there, but that’s who he is. I love that about music. Be you.”

    Playing in Vietnam and Thailand at age 19 for two years, Henry (front) learned a lot about life.
    Playing in Vietnam and Thailand at age 19 for two years, Henry (front) learned a lot about life.

    History, Influence & Inspiration

    C&K were leaders in forging a fresh sound of the ’70s in Hawai‘i, melding rock, pop and blues like never before. Yet, as the ‘ukulele, lap steel guitar and classic Don Ho covers were resonating throughout Waikīkī, C&K was sharing new guitar sounds with an island twist that shook the music industry from Hawai‘i to Hollywood.

    He didn’t realize at the time what Cecilio and he were cultivating — a sound so powerful and a part of so many lives. “It just happened,” he admits. “I knew of Cecilio
    before I left for Vietnam, but when I came back, our mutual dear friend, Johnny Isara, suggested we should get together. That dinner changed both of our lives.”

    That dinner of destiny almost didn’t happen. Prior to it, Henry had embarked on six-week tour in Asia in the late ’60s that turned into a two-year ordeal he luckily survived.

    The 19-year-old Henry traveled with his power trio, Pakalolo, to Thailand with Chicago duo Twin Sisters for a month. “Then, just as we got to Vietnam, our management company closed up… it’s a long story, but ultimately, we were stuck.”

    “It was spooky — war going on with cannons going off, blasts… the military is running around,” Henry recalls with an exhale. “We lived on rations, got paid $20 a month… but then we learned how to spend. We learned about life.”

    “I played my guitar eight hours a day — slept with it, ate with it… it helped me survive,” Henry says. There were a lot of close calls. “I felt a close relationship with God then… it was scary and made me realize how vulnerable we are.”

    He played for the troops for a year in Vietnam and ended up back in Thailand for another year before earning enough to return to Hawai‘i. He came back with a whole new vision, drive and purpose. He committed to music his way and the universe delivered him a creative partner in Cecilio.

    Henry and Cecilio billed themselves as Cecilio & Kapono, aka C&K. Within their first year together, Columbia Records signed the new duo to a three-album deal, a historic business deal for a Hawaiian group.

    Before the duo parted ways, the collaboration would produce a total of eight albums, making an indelible mark in the history of Hawaiian music.

    Henry keeps the spirit alive by performing The Songs of C&K shows, which O‘ahu and Maui fans enjoyed in December. “It’s fun to pay tribute to the songs people grew up with and loved and passed onto their children. Generations are still listening to it,” says Henry. “They’re still playing on the radio. Amazing.”

    “I often tell Henry when I’m on stage with him that when it comes to the songs of C&K, one knows what perfume they were wearing and who their first love was,” shared Amy.

    After C&K, Henry enjoyed solo fame with “Kapono: Stand in the Light” in 1981 and produced more than a dozen albums, including favorites such as “Duke’s On Sunday” and “Wild Hawaiian.”

    The latter is the most critically acclaimed and was nominated for a Grammy  in 2006, which sent Henry on another wave of stardom. He reminisces about his Hendrix experience and admits it was channeled into this album.

    As a pure Hawaiian, Henry has been frequently asked why he doesn’t do a Hawaiian album. “I wasn’t raised in the Hawaiian language as many Hawaiian artists have been since,” shares Henry. “There are so many great Hawaiian musicians who live and breathe the Hawaiian language, and do such an amazing job with the music and culture. So when I decided to do a Hawaiian album, I decided I was going to do it my way. The ‘Wild Hawaiian’ name came about during a rehearsal, as we were jamming hard. My drummer exclaimed, ‘That’s wild!’ The rest is history.”

    Henry’s extraordinary prowess and versatility has guided generations of the impactful and courageous artists of Hawai‘i, including the late, great Willie K (Kahaiali‘i) of Maui and Tavana, the renowned one-man band from O‘ahu.

    “Henry Kapono has had a tremendous impact on me as a musician,” Tavana says. “His kindness and acceptance of me and many other musicians has inspired me to be a better player and human.”

    Henry is a hero, but also a comrade to many fantastic singer-songwriters.

    “Henry has influenced every contemporary Hawaiian musician/singer, either directly or indirectly,” says John Cruz, beloved Grammy Award-winning artist and former bandmate of Henry’s. “For my generation, his songs were part of the soundtrack of our lives. What makes him particularly special for me is he continues to create beautiful songs that resonate today!”

    “I appreciate them and love all of them,” says Henry. “I’m glad to be an inspiration and they are inspiring to me. They have a lot to give to music and they do with passion.”

    Paving a Road for Future Generations

    For a super star, his fans really appreciate Henry’s team attitude. The camaraderie and support of fellow creatives is something Henry is really proud of here in Hawai‘i. “There is no other place like this in the world.”

    Henry continues to create paths which ensure future artists have support along the way. In 2018, the Henry Kapono Foundation (HKF) was founded by Henry and his wife, Lezlee, as an opportunity to give back and perpetuate his lifelong passions across his “Home in the Islands.” Henry is dedicated to keeping Hawai‘i’s music and culture thriving by providing education and assistance to the music community. HKF understands the challenges of the working artist, and strives to foster and guide Hawai‘i musicians with business education, digital resources, grants, scholarships and financial aid opportunities.

    “The plan is to keep the music industry thriving here in Hawai’i by creating programs and resources to empower everybody,” says Henry.

    “There is not an artist in Hawaiian music who doesn’t have immense respect for Henry Kapono,” says Kimié Miner, a celebrated singer-songwriter and loving wahine in the next generation of leaders.

    As a native Hawaiian singer/songwriter/artist, she observes that “he demonstrates a high, yet humble standard for how to uphold our powerful, collective mele, while simultaneously upholding support and service to the community” through such programs as HKF.

    “Together with his wife, Lezlee Ka‘aihue, they champion the importance of staying connected to the origins of our culture, language and lineage through music” she continues. “Henry is synonymous with kindness; he is a one of a kind… and a true friend.”

    HKF shifted focus to musicians during the peak of the pandemic. HKF was able to gift $200,000 worth of Foodland cards to nearly 400 families of artists affected through HKF’s We Are Friends… COVID-19 Relief Program, in partnership with the Kawakami Family.

    Lezlee and he crafted this benevolent idea, feeling empathy for the community. “She does all of the bookings and had to wipe those calendars clear,” Henry says. “We got the $500 gifts cards out immediately, as everyone was in shock in the music industry. We wanted to help them eat, support their families; make positive moves forward.”

    HKF (www.henrykaponofoundation.org) continues to support the music community after the stages started reopening with We Are Friends 2.0 and other programs, grants and scholarships. It’s exciting to ponder the possibilities this foundation will have on future generations.

    During the COVID shutdown, Henry served up regular doses of personal aloha with over 200 YouTube episodes of “Henry’s Positive World.” He would share virtue cards with positive messages and sing a song related to each. “It reached so many globally, helping a lot through a tough time. People are still coming up to my wife and I expressing gratitude. It feels amazing to be there for others.”

    “I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without her,” says Henry. “I have a really good team that keeps me in touch and connected. Teamwork definitely makes the dreams work.”

    There’s No Place Like Home

    His grueling schedule kept him traveling for years, with six months of touring and two weeks home — repeat. While back in Hawai‘i on a break in 1977, he took a drive and soaked in an oceanside moment. He was overcome with the beauty of his home and felt calm for the first time in a while. He had an overwhelming sense to be here more. He thought, “What am I doing out there?! I’m coming home.”

    He let his management know that he was going to base himself in Hawai‘i and would hit the road as needed from here. Henry sought to craft an extraordinary life, helping the world truly understand the meaning of aloha and supporting the music of Hawai‘i for many generations. That was over four decades and it’s all going to plan.

    Coming back home and being in the spotlight here has always “been enough,” but Henry understands the plight of a local artist and those luminous dreams of stardom. “LA wasn’t for me.”

    “We all grew up with those dreams and an idea of what we want in this life,” says Henry. “My advice is to be grateful for what you have right now. Talent only takes you so far. Work hard and understand good things will come if you really put in 100 percent of your heart and soul. There’s no less than that. Anything less, you’re not ready.”

    While signed to Colombia Records, a manager shared this with him: “The music business is 80 percent business and 20 percent talent.” That was hard for him to swallow then. He soon realized business is the vehicle that helps you move forward so you can continue to stoke the fire.

    The award-winning compilation album “The Songs of C&K”(2018) features some of Hawai'i's most talented and successful young artists.
    The award-winning compilation album “The Songs of C&K”(2018) features some of Hawai’i’s most talented and successful young artists.

    When he met his second wife, Lezlee, those realizations resurfaced. He was thrilled she offered to be his management.

    “Behind every good man, there’s a great woman” and Henry realizes how blessed he was to meet his “White Rose,” as the anniversary song he wrote for her professes.

    “How hard could it be?” she said about taking on managing a musician. “About a month later, she realized she didn’t like the business,” Henry shares with giggle. “Luckily, she stayed with it and understood it, and now we are a great team. We are connected and we make things happen. We know what we want out of what we do, and it’s a great partnership. A great life!”

    He continues, “Our goal is to reach all levels… we are doing the best we can for not only us, but for everyone. We truly care about the music industry and the people in it. Our vision and goals  all focus to keep the music thriving.”

    The Home in the Islands: A Henry Kapono & Friends Concert of iconic and emerging artists last summer was a huge boost, especially after stages had been dark throughout the pandemic.

    “I think everyone was ready for something and we were ready to give it to them,” says Henry. “We highlighted musicians from the ’70s who mean a lot to Hawai‘i. Their music has transcended generations.”

    Henry enjoys making music with special friends at Island Sound Studios in Honolulu.
    Henry enjoys making music with special friends at Island Sound Studios in Honolulu.

    Kalapana, Robert Cazimero, Ledward Kaapana, Mākaha Sons and Jerry Santos were among the iconic stars featured. “It was a big treat for us that we put it together and for the artists,” says Henry. “It was so nice have them be recognized for who they are and what they have accomplished for the love of their islands.”

    His favorite part of the night was when “everyone was backstage having a good time and there was a whole concert before we had a chance to even get onstage… kanikapila style.”

    “No egos… It’s a beautiful thing. You don’t see much of this at big concerts. They were all happy to be together, sharing such positive energy.”

    Camaraderie is a main theme for Henry. “We all started as nobody and just trying to learn our talent or figure out if we had talents. We knew each other and hung out, but we didn’t realize at the time how far we’d come and that we’d still be sharing the stage today some 50 years later.”

    The gig he feels most at home is Duke’s on Sunday, a landmark gathering of Henry Kapono and friends, coming up on 30 years. “Thanks to founder Rob Thibaut (TS Restaurants) who took me to lunch to share his vision… to be a part of the Duke’s family,” Henry says. “He had a vision of me playing in Waikīkī with Diamond Head in the background and folks traveling from across the world to experience it.”

    Henry left for a tour after that lunch and seriously pondered what his vision was offering — a permanent place at home where he could be with fans regularly.

    “When I returned from that particular tour, I realized this is where I should be,” says Henry. “I gave it a chance and 29 years later, I’m still there every Sunday, enjoying every minute of it.”

    “Music really is the key to everything and the best way to communicate to the world powerfully.”

    Gratitude

    Henry, with two daughters from a previous marriage, is now back to raising teenagers with Lezlee. They have twins; a boy and a girl. “I’m so proud of all of my children. Raising kids is amazing… They’re fascinating. You learn a lot and grow up yourself again in some ways.”

    “My twins love me as a father. They don’t see a ‘big performer.’ The good part is I don’t push music onto them or push anything onto them,” says Henry. “We allow them to pursue and do what they want to do.”

    With guitars strewn about their Honolulu home, it was only a matter of time before one of them got bitten by the music bug.

    “Lately, they have been playing guitar in their room, I could hear them and was waiting for them to come out and express themselves,” says Henry with a chuckle. “No one has asked for a lesson yet.”

    He’s thrilled they’re ripping chords from his days, paying homage to music which will never go out of style, like Led Zeppelin and The Beatles, plus an array of new songs. “I’m really enjoying it and they just blow my mind.”

    Henry admits he is very competitive, but only with himself and doesn’t plan on getting out of the game.

    “I have a lot to be grateful for, including still being a part of the music industry” says Henry. “I always challenge myself. I’m my biggest competitor. I’m all about always trying to keep in touch with everything, with the industry and the musicians, and getting an understanding of how everything moves forward and understanding how I move forward and keep positive.”

    “Seeing how people react and respond to your music is really important,” says Henry. “You make that connection and people hold onto to you and you just give them the good stuff.”

    “I wrote ‘Sweet Life’ for my wife; it’s about being found by love after losing everything. But it really applies to life in general. Through all the bumps, twists and turns of living life, I realized that it was a test toward being a stronger person or giving up.”“Sweet Life:” a newly released single.
    “I wrote ‘Sweet Life’ for my wife; it’s about being found by love after losing everything. But it really applies to life in general. Through all the bumps, twists and turns of living life, I realized that it was a test toward being a stronger person or giving up.” “Sweet Life:” a newly released single.

    The Hoku awards (aka “Hawai‘i’s Grammys”) from recent years are quite meaningful. In 2021, he was named “Favorite Entertainer of the Year” and won Contemporary Album of the Year” at the ceremony. His anthology album was honored in 2022. “It feels good to still be so loved, and fun to be honored for being contemporary and for an anthology. I still got something.”

    The Rearview Mirror & Road Ahead

    Spending time with Henry, you would never guess he’s approaching 75. He’s sharp, funny and cool in conversation. His signature wavy mane is still sprinkled with sea salt, and good conversations, music and humor grace his days. He regularly exercises physically, mentally and spiritually to stay in the game of life. “I think it’s so important to exercise in all these ways.”

    In his home outside of Honolulu, he’s created an office space outdoors where he can hear the birds sing and finds this is the only way to work from home.

    “I just don’t believe in thinking of being old… It’s just a number.”

    He plans to be around to see the twins graduate college, hold his grandkids and be there for them in all ways. “I want to wake up every morning and feel good.”

    Henry’s words of wisdom to aspiring artists is the hope they believe and trust in themselves, but heed feedback. “Listening to criticism, taking it as a lesson, whether it’s good or bad, and not discouraging yourself with all the noise that surrounds you,” he says. “Believe in yourself and trust that you know what you do. Really be passionate about it and be grateful you have that opportunity to live in a musical world.”

    His father always told him to “be careful, but enjoy it,” when it came to any task or journey in life. As a young man, Henry didn’t fully understand. He does today.

    Henry has added to this wisdom with advice he shares with artists, including dropping the ego and “focusing energy on making a difference for others, your family and generations to come. That’s where joy comes from.”

    “My mom taught me to give selflessly, and by  giving without expecting anything back, eventually something comes back… maybe not in what you gave, but in other forms,” he fondly recalls. “I believe in that. Something we should all do. Give from your heart and let it be.”

    “I wrote the song ‘Sweet Life’ for my wife; it’s about being found by love after losing everything,” says Henry. “But it really applies to life in general. Through all the bumps, twists and turns of living life, I realized that it’s a test of either being a stronger person or giving up. A strong family, good friends and the opportunity to continue my musical passion while making people happy, is what I’m all about. I am grateful for it all. It’s a “Sweet Life.”


    HENRY KAPONO FOUNDATION (501(c) 3 nonprofit)
    To Support and Empower Hawai’i’s Music Industry to Thrive Through Programs, Grants, Education & Resources
    www.henrykaponofoundation.org
    www.henrykaponofoundation.org/donate

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    Many claim they are leaving a legacy, yet Henry Kapono Ka‘aihue lives his every day, instilling pure aloha into everything he does. In his alleged “Golden Years,” when most are retired or slowing down, this remarkable music man has no intention of doing any of that any time soon.

  • Grief & Bereavement — Part IV

    Portrait of depressed senior man crying during therapy session with female psychiatrist trying to console himAll grief starts as anticipatory grief. Dr. Daniel Miller defines the term “anticipatory grief” as the “process of grieving that starts prior to a loved one passing away.”

    Certainly, acute anticipatory grief comes into one’s consciousness upon the diagnosis of a terminal illness of oneself or of a loved one. A more chronic and less intense grief starts much earlier in life, when we realize at a young age that we and our loved ones will eventually die. This realization leads to a flood of  overwhelming emotions that leave us breathless for a moment — anticipatory grief. But this anticipatory grief allows the family to prepare for the inevitable loss of a loved one.

    Grief starts much earlier than a diagnosis of a terminal illness and inches, sometimes barely noticeably, throughout each person’s lifetime. And, of course, each person experiences grief differently.

    Our understanding and skill in the estate planning process intersects with the client’s fear of death and anticipatory grief. In no other area of the law is it more essential that estate planning attorneys understand their role as counselors. In order to assist the client in making meaningful and well thought-out decisions with respect to their estate plan, attorneys must continually refine their counseling skills.


    STEPHEN B. YIM, ATTORNEY AT LAW
    2054 S. Beretania St., Honolulu, HI 96826
    808-524-0251 | www.stephenyimestateplanning.com

    All grief starts as anticipatory grief. Dr. Daniel Miller defines the term “anticipatory grief” as the “process of grieving that starts prior to a loved one passing away.”

  • Beware of Romance Scams

    Data from the Federal Trade Commission show that more consumers than ever report falling prey to romance scamming, also called “catphishing.” The total reported lost over the past five years has now reached $1.3 billion.

    How Do They Do It?

    Scammers create fake profiles on dating sites, apps and social media platforms in order to offer relationships and companionship to unsuspecting seniors. They may mention a common friend and/or the same interests or hobbies as you. They say they are lonely and seek companionship. Conversations will be brief and frequent.

    Once they feel they have good rapport with you, they will mention financial hardships or they will say they want to travel from afar to meet you, but don’t have the means to do so. They may even say they had been recently scammed online. They will not ask for assistance directly, but will wait for you to offer it.

    They will be reluctant at first, but will finally accept your assistance. They will instruct their target to wire money to a bank account, or via Western Union or an online payment service like PayPal. They may also ask for a cashier’s check. One very big red flag is if they ask for gift cards or prepaid credit cards.

    The amount they ask for is usually small at first, but soon they will make up some excuse for needing more funds. They will resist meeting in person or even video chatting. They may agree to a phone call, but it will be very brief and rare.

    They will continue their scam until the money runs out or until their mark says they are going to inform a family member or friend about the relationship. But by then it may be too late.

    Red Flags

    • Their profile seems too good to be true.
    • They contact you frequently and progress the relationship quickly.
    • They make professions of love far too early.
    • They live very far away.
    • They can’t visit, call, video call or send many pictures.
    • They ask for money.
    • They require specific payment methods.

    Prevention Tips
    • Remember that not everything you see online is true.
    • Talk about your online relationship with a family member or trusted friend.
    • Never give out personal or financial information to someone you have never met in person (email and home addresses, telephone numbers, account numbers and information).
    • Ask them to set up a video call, but be very wary of the link they send you. It might redirect you to a site where malware and/or spyware will infect your devices.
    • Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person.

    If you feel you are a victim of a romance scam, contact your local law enforcement agency immediately. Provide them with all the information you have about the scammer, including financial records showing your payments to him or her.

    Do not feel ashamed! Anyone can be affected by a romance scam, but sadly, scammers often target the elderly, who may be lonely or struggling to find emotional connection.


    Contact me with questions about online security.
    Christopher Duque | aikea808@gmail.com

    Data from the Federal Trade Commission show that more consumers than ever report falling prey to romance scamming, also called “catphishing.” The total reported lost over the past five years has now reached $1.3 billion. How Do They Do It?

  • Leaving a Legacy of Aloha

    Estate planning involves protecting what is important and then passing it on to our loved ones and future generations. Many concepts central to Hawaiian culture are applicable to estate planning. Starting with the concept of ‘ohana (an inclusive notion of family), all the way through lokahi (unity — especially appropriate at the passing of a loved one), estate planning and the culture of our islands can interweave to form a rich tapestry of aloha.

    Ha‘aha‘a describes an attitude of humility, which promotes family harmony at stressful times. Stress may arise in dealing with illness and death, and it may arise in dealing with the distribution of assets. It takes humility for family members to form closer bonds at these times.

    Sometimes, dealing with issues surrounding the disposition of a loved one’s remains, much less the disposition of assets, requires family members to talk out differences and come to consensus regarding what is the right, or pono, thing to do, as well as respecting the wishes of the deceased and the living. It is not uncommon for different family members to have different views of what a deceased person’s wishes were in various contexts. This may result in disagreements that can be both heated and destructive.

    Ho‘oponopono is an option at times of family disagreement. It is a delicate process that enables family members to express their views and come to understanding of alternative perspectives. Although ho‘oponopono may be employed after the fact in resolving disputes, it can also be used while the senior family member is still alive to head off disputes and instill unity in the family. A successful ho‘oponopono requires the sensitive leadership of a moderator who is not involved in the dispute and who can make sure that all perspectives are expressed and validated.

    Finally, the concept of mālama, or caring for and perpetuating one’s legacy, infuses and motivates Hawaiian-style estate planning. This extends from caring for one’s family to caring for one’s community through charitable giving.

    Remembering our root values helps us to leave a legacy of aloha.


    SCOTT MAKUAKANE, Counselor at Law
    Focusing exclusively on estate planning and trust law.
    www.est8planning.com
    808-587-8227 | maku@est8planning.com

    Estate planning involves protecting what is important and then passing it on to our loved ones and future generations. Many concepts central to Hawaiian culture are applicable to estate planning. Starting with the concept of ‘ohana, all the way through lokahi, estate planning and the culture of our islands can interweave to form a rich…

  • Money Management for Couples

    Life partners need to be on the same page about money.

    We all know couples who fight about money. You may even be in a relationship where finances are a source of tension. It’s no mystery why these kinds of conflicts are so common — money fuels our ability to take care of ourselves and our dependents. Managing it requires discipline and a plan, but often, couples don’t see eye-to-eye on what that means. When long-term committed partners share their finances, but not the same values and habits regarding money, friction often ensues. Fortunately, as with most things, clear and open communication can help. Here are four question to facilitate an honest and productive conversation with your spouse or partner about money.

    1) How are expenses managed?

    If you are soon to be married or living together, you need to determine how your money will be combined (joint checking and savings accounts or separate accounts) and who will be responsible for each household expense. If you’ve been together for some time, your primary focus is to make sure that you’re living within your means and that there is transparency about all money matters. To the extent you take on debt or make large purchases, it needs to be an amount both parties are comfortable with.

    2) What are today’s financial priorities?

    These can change from time to time, but it’s important for couples to frequently discuss what is important to them. For example, young couples may want to determine if they should set money aside for a down payment on a house. Some may want to prioritize spending on vacations. Later in life, couples need to think about how they plan to spend their time (and money) in retirement. These issues should be discussed frequently.

    3) What are your long-term goals?

    These tend to vary based on your age and are likely to change, to some extent, over the course of your lives. As a young couple, putting money aside for higher education (your own or your children’s) may be one of your priorities. Even though retirement may be a long way off, the sooner you begin saving for that goal, the better. Those who are older may be primarily focused on retirement and the disposition of their estate. Sitting down with a financial advisor can be beneficial regardless of your age. An advisor will gather input from both parties and craft a plan to help guide your long-term financial decision-making.

    4) Is proper paperwork in place?

    For couples who plan to get married, there might be reasons to consider a pre-nuptial agreement. It spells out how assets are to be divided in case of divorce. Most importantly, it limits costs related to litigation should divorce occur, as the parties agreed in advance on how assets will be split. For older couples, making sure estate documents are in place is important. The issues are trickier in cases of blended families. In both cases, seeking solid legal guidance is important.

    Bottom Line

    When it comes to money, communication is key, so talking about it regularly is important. For couples, limiting financial surprises , such as long-standing debt or large purchases, can go a long way to building a healthy, team-oriented approach to budgeting and managing money.


    MICHAEL W. K. YEE, CFP,® CFS,® CLTC, CRPC®
    1585 Kapiolani Blvd., Ste. 1100, Honolulu, HI 96814
    808-952-1240 | michael.w.yee@ampf.com
    www.ameripriseadvisors.com/michael.w.yee
    Michael W. K. Yee, CFP®, CFS®, CLTC, CRPC ®, is a Private Wealth Advisor, Certified Financial Planner ™ practitioner, with Ameriprise Financial Services, LLC. in Honolulu, HI. He specializes in fee-based financial planning and asset management strategies and has been in practice for 38 years.

    Investment advisory products and services are made available through Ameriprise Financial Services, LLC, a registered investment adviser.

    Investment products are not insured by the FDIC, NCUA or any federal agency, are not deposits or obligations of, or guaranteed by any financial institution, and involve investment risks including possible loss of principal and fluctuation in value.

    Ameriprise Financial Services, LLC. Member FINRA and SIPC.
    © 2022 Ameriprise Financial, Inc. All rights reserved.

    We all know couples who fight about money. You may even be in a relationship where finances are a source of tension. It’s no mystery why these kinds of conflicts are so common — money fuels our ability to take care of ourselves and our dependents. Managing it requires discipline and a plan, but often,…

  • Medicare Part B Start Date Changes

    Senior woman using smartphone at home after exercise. The use of technology by the elderly.Changes are coming in 2023 regarding when Medicare Part B coverage starts. Please forward this article to those who may need it.

    WHAT IS NOT CHANGING

    If you are eligible at age 65, your Initial Enrollment Period (IEP): Begins three months before your 65th birthday; includes the month of your 65th birthday; and ends three months after your 65th birthday. If you are automatically enrolled in Medicare Part B or if you sign up during the first three months of your IEP, your coverage will start the month you’re first eligible. If you sign up the month you turn 65, your coverage will start the first day of the following month.

    WHAT IS CHANGING

    • Starting Jan. 1, 2023, your Medicare Part B coverage starts the first day of the month after you sign up, if you sign up during the last three months of your IEP.
    • If you don’t sign up for Medicare Part B during your IEP, you have another chance each year during the General Enrollment Period (GEP), Jan. 1 through March 31. Starting Jan. 1, 2023, your coverage starts the first day of the month after you sign up.

    Learn more about these updates at www.ssa.gov/medicare and our Medicare publication at www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10043.pdf.


    For more information, visit www.socialsecurity.gov
    or call 1-800-772-1213 (TTY 1-800-325-0778).

    Changes are coming in 2023 regarding when Medicare Part B coverage starts. Please forward this article to those who may need it.

  • Lower Prescription Copays in 2023

    According to the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, the number of Medicare beneficiaries in Hawai‘i has grown to 281,091. Seventy-two percent of  beneficiaries have prescription drug coverage through Medicare Parts C and D. Even so, prescriptions can be expensive. The Inflation Reduction Act of 2022 is intended to help lower copays for covered medications.

    close up of 100 dollar bill with pills on top of itStarting this year, all Part D-covered vaccinations will be free. For those who take a covered insulin, the maximum copay will now be $35 a month. Insulin used with a pump will cost $35 a month starting in July.

    Call or email Hawaii SHIP to request a free plan comparison. Plan comparison specialists will help you find the plan that best covers your medications for the lowest out-of-pocket cost. If you need help paying for your medication, counselors will screen for eligibility and help you to enroll in the Social Security Administration’s Extra Help program. All one-on-one counseling sessions are confidential and the information is unbiased — SHIP is not affiliated with any insurance company. To learn more about Medicare and to help others, volunteer today.


    HAWAII SHIP
    Free, local, one-on-one Medicare counseling provided by the Hawai‘i State Health Insurance Assistance Program.
    250 South Hotel St., Ste. 406, Honolulu, HI 96813
    Oahu: 808-586-7299 | Toll free: 888-875-9229
    www.hawaiiship.org

    According to the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, the number of Medicare beneficiaries in Hawai‘i has grown to 281,091. Seventy-two percent of  beneficiaries have prescription drug coverage through Medicare Parts C and D. Even so, prescriptions can be expensive. The Inflation Reduction Act of 2022 is intended to help lower copays for covered medications.

  • Keep Good Health Insurance

    During my 12-plus years in the Medicare health insurance field, I have talked to many people aging into Medicare. In our discussions, I am consistently told that they never get sick and take few drugs, so they are just looking for the cheapest plan. I am always surprised, because I have noticed that health problems tend to manifest as seniors move into their 60s, 70s and beyond.

    However, a lot of progress has been made in the healthcare field. As we age, some body parts may show patterns of wear and tear and may need replacement. Other parts may be worn, but not excessively, and just need a tweak here and there for continued performance. With good healthcare, many serious conditions are resolved quickly and individuals with heart, back, knee, hip and joint issues may experience full restoration to health and good quality of life.

    In order to go the distance and perform optimally, you need to stay up to date with your preventive screenings. You may not be thrilled about getting your ears, nose and throat checked, blood draws, urine samples or that semi-annual dental cleaning — but just do it! Especially at 70, 80 and 90, your best quality of life may be just one medical exam away! So if you want to go the distance, keep good health insurance.


    GET2INSURANCE.COM FAMILY OFFICE
    1003 Bishop St., Ste. 2700, Honolulu, HI 96813
    800-226-3660 | martha@get2insurance.com
    www.Get2insurance.com

    During my 12-plus years in the Medicare health insurance field, I have talked to many people aging into Medicare. In our discussions, I am consistently told that they never get sick and take few drugs, so they are just looking for the cheapest plan. I am always surprised, because I have noticed that health problems…

  • Prevent Identify Theft

    Protect your identity and help prevent healthcare fraud by guarding your Medicare card like you would a credit card. Scammers are expanding their targets, especially kūpuna, and they can be very convincing. A fraudster recently contacted a Honolulu resident, stating the resident’s name and date of birth. The con artist then offered to replace the resident’s Medicare card if he would share his Social Security Number (SSN). Luckily, the resident did not cooperate with this scammer.

    As the new year unfolds, keep the following important reminders handy. Important steps to protect against identify theft that can lead to healthcare fraud include:

    ◆ Not sharing or confirming your Medicare or SSN with anyone who contacts you by telephone, email or in person, unless you have given them permission in advance. Unless you ask them to, Medicare will never contact you to ask for your Medicare number or other personal information or to send you a new card. Medicare already has your information.

    ◆ Do not let anyone borrow or pay to use your Medicare number.

    ◆ Review your Medicare Summary Notice (MSN) to be sure you and Medicare are only being charged for actual items and services received.

    Hawai‘i leads the 50 states and D.C. in life expectancy, so scammers will continue to tighten their grip on older adults here. So if you get a call offering you a new Medicare card in exchange for your personal information, just hang up. Then report it to Senior Medicare Patrol (SMP) Hawaii, a  federal-funded program managed by the Hawai‘i Department of Health’s Executive Office on Aging (DOH-EOA).

    The 54 SMP chapters throughout the US and territories of Guam, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands help beneficiaries, families and caregivers to prevent, detect and report healthcare fraud, errors and abuse through counseling, outreach and education, thanks to our trained volunteers. Since 1997, SMP has empowered and assisted people through its volunteer-based program — because we know it takes each of us, our entire state, to protect kūpuna.

    For more information on healthcare fraud prevention or how to help as a volunteer, contact SMP Hawaii using the information below.


    SENIOR MEDICARE PATROL (SMP) HAWAII
    Department of Health — Executive Office on Aging
    250 S. Hotel St., Ste. 406, Honolulu, HI 96813
    808-586-7281 | Toll Free: 1-800-296-9422
    info@smphawaii.org | smphawaii.org
    Facebook: smphawaii808
    This project was supported in part by grant number 90MPPG0053 from the US Administration for Community Living (ACL), Department of Health and Human Services, Washington, DC, 20201. Grantees undertaking projects under government sponsorship are encouraged to express freely their findings and conclusions. Points of view or opinions do not, therefore, necessarily represent official ACL policy. The Hawai‘i Department of Health – Executive Office on Aging has administered SMP Hawaii since 1997.

    Protect your identity and help prevent healthcare fraud by guarding your Medicare card like you would a credit card. Scammers are expanding their targets, especially kūpuna, and they can be very convincing. A fraudster recently contacted a Honolulu resident, stating the resident’s name and date of birth. The con artist then offered to replace the…

  • Get Into a Groove & Do the Move

    We’ve all heard the saying, “If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.” And while exercise is always at the top of the list of what you can do to stay healthy, it’s so easy to run out of time and defer it to tomorrow.

    That’s why at this year’s Aging in Place Workshop organized by Generations Magazine, I spoke about simple things we can all do to stay healthy and functional as we age. Researchers are now telling us that even if we don’t spend 30 minutes on an exercise bike or walking five times a week, we can still improve our health with “exercise snacks,” short bursts of activity that add up to an amount that is beneficial to our health.

    Make it a NEAT day

    Another term that’s surfaced is “NEAT” or non-exercise activity thermogenesis. NEAT refers to everyday activities like yard work, housework, walking or even fidgeting. About 2½ hours of standing and light walking around the house per day is perfect. And if that seems too much, just remember to move every half hour. The latest studies have found that sitting for longer than 30 minutes without moving can increase mortality rates.

    Some examples of EXERCISE SNACKS:

    CHAIR STANDS – go from sitting to standing at least five times whenever you go to sit down or stand up from a chair (without using your hands)

    HIGH KNEE TAPS – lift your leg until your thigh is parallel to the floor, then tap your knee with the palm of your opposite hand and continue marching (sustain through a commercial break)

    HEEL RAISES – while standing tall, raise your heels off the ground until you’re standing on the balls of your feet and repeat 10 times at the sink before and after you wash your hands

    SINGLE LEG STANDS – stand on one leg for 10 seconds whenever you’re near a counter (alternate, making sure you don’t lock the knee of your weight-bearing leg)

    And be sure to take advantage of NEAT. If you have stairs at home or places around your house to explore, take a few extra steps to get there.

    Most importantly, remember to MOVE!


    GYMGUYZ Urban Honolulu
    Home Personal Training & Mobile Fitness
    808-638-2525
    gymguyzurbanhonolulu@gymguyz.com
    www.gymguyz.com

    We’ve all heard the saying, “If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.” And while exercise is always at the top of the list of what you can do to stay healthy, it’s so easy to run out of time and defer it to tomorrow.

  • Wisdom of the Serving Spoon

    Eating together is good. Read “Eating Together” (www.generations808.com/eatingtogether) in our last issue. But Generations overlooked something in that article. One of the photos used to illustrate the article about Hawaii Food Bank programs shows a family sharing food, with members dipping into a communal bowl of noodles with their own chopsticks. We thought nothing of this time-honored way of dining until a Honolulu gastroenterologist pointed out that this culturally accepted convention may be hazardous to your health. “There are a lot of bacteria and viruses (mononucleosis; hepatitis A, B and C; H Pylori; herpes; HIV) in our saliva that can be transmitted to another diner.” And numerous observational, epidemiological data have suggested that the risk of COVID19 is related to shared meals or drinks. “The thing you need is a serving spoon or serving chopsticks.”

    He is not alone in this recommendation.

    A proposal by several Asian health organizations to use separate chopsticks and spoons for serving when people dine together was made at the height of the pandemic in 2020, suggesting diners avoid using their personal chopsticks to pick food from the same dishes, thereby reducing the chances of transmission of many diseases.

    Since people have been eating this way for generations, the proposal was met with some resistance. Using a serving spoon or set of chopsticks may send the signal of wanting to keep your distance — the total opposite of most Asian social and cultural conventions. But this simple change in etiquette is a small price to pay for staying safe — and just another example of how we must adapt to our changing world.


     

    Eating together is good. Read “Eating Together” (www.generations808.com/eatingtogether) in our last issue. But Generations overlooked something in that article.

  • Take Statins & Other Meds as Prescribed

    Medicine is an important part of treatment for many health conditions. For medications to be most effective and work safely, you need to take them exactly as  prescribed. If you experience problems, such as new symptoms or side effects, talk to your doctor immediately.

    Check with your doctor or pharmacist before starting any new medications

    Many seniors see multiple specialists to treat different conditions. Some drugs, including over-the-counter medicines that your doctor may not realize you’re taking, can interact with existing medication and potentially cause problems.

    Create a comprehensive list of all the medicines, vitamins, herbal remedies and supplements you take, and share it with your doctors. Having a clear picture of everything you’re putting into your body will help them provide safer and more effective care.

    Prescription refills

    It’s important to keep track of when you’ll run out of your medicine. Don’t wait until you have only a few pills left. Use a calendar to remind yourself to get refills. It may be dangerous to suddenly stop a medicine, so talk to your doctor or pharmacist about what to do if you miss a dose.

    If you were given a prescription during a hospital or emergency room visit, it may only be enough medicine until you can see your regular doctor. Ask the discharging physician about how long you should continue the new medicines.

    A bit about statins

    Statins are medicines that help with cholesterol, which is a fat-like substance in the blood. There is good and bad cholesterol. Having too much bad cholesterol in your blood vessels can raise your risk of heart disease, heart attack and stroke.  Many people with diabetes take statins because they’re at higher risk of heart attack and stroke. Statins must be taken regularly as prescribed to work well and lower your risk. If you stop, your risk for heart attack and stroke may go back up.

    Follow-up care

    A key part of your treatment and safety is to make and go to all appointments, and talk to your doctor if you experience problems.


    KAISER FOUNDATION HEALTH PLAN, INC.
    711 Kapiolani Blvd., Honolulu, Hawaii 96813
    808-432-5915 (TTY 711) | www.kp.org
    To learn more about this and other topics, visit www.kp.org/health and www.kp.org/seniorhealth. This article contains health and wellness or prevention information.

    Medicine is an important part of treatment for many health conditions. For medications to be most effective and work safely, you need to take them exactly as  prescribed. If you experience problems, such as new symptoms or side effects, talk to your doctor immediately.