Getting old has its blessings and its challenges. The blessings are many, especially here in Hawai‘i where kūpuna are usually treated with a bounty of respect and kindness. However, I have found that to be less true while traveling on the continent.
Among my many blessings, I count my three kids. My eldest daughter, Kalei, age 54, who lives upstairs from me with her husband, Paul, are there to help when asked. Kala‘i, age 51, and his partner, Lawrence, are also both willing and able to help in any way that they can. Puna, my youngest daughter, age 47, lives in Florida, but comes when needed, as she demonstrated when her father was diagnosed with brain cancer. She appeared two days later and stayed for two months.
me, son Kala‘i and his partner, Lawrence.
But challenges are also many. Pesky little obstacles include being unable to recall the names of actors and classmates from long ago, and forgetting appointments, even though they are in my cell phone calendar and written on a paper calendar. Trials include being unable to do the simple, everyday tasks that were once so easy to do, like bending to tie shoelaces, reaching for dishes from a high kitchen shelf, opening a jelly jar and even popping open a can of cola. All the little things…
The big things are getting short of breath during a slow, 18-minute walk halfway around the loop, or during a 45-minute sitting-fitness class at the YMCA, enduring the pain from my knees and feet from arthritis while walking and exercising or even just trying to fall asleep at night.
But the biggest challenge in my life is grieving for a lifetime companion who died and left me to survive without him, dealing with the pain of turning over in bed and seeing an empty pillow, preparing meals for one person instead of two, filling out forms required by the government after the death of spouse for VA, Social Security, military retirement, medical insurance…
Yes, getting old has its blessings and its challenges. Getting old is getting old!
ANITA ‘ILIMA STERN is a retired elementary school teacher and writer who taught hula for 33 years. Her students liked learning hula and chant from her and appreciated the positive feedback they received. She lives in Kailua, O‘ahu.
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